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Thursday, May 19, 2016

"When Jethro Exposed the Simulation"

Now THAT was unexpected. Roosh demonstrates a hitherto unsuspected talent for writing science fiction:
“Remember when you spawned Hitler?” Fodos asked.

“Remember?” Ghartek replied. “That was the highlight of my career! But it almost crashed the simulation.”

“What I loved about it is how you weaved Biblical themes into Hitler’s actions. It really scared the Jews.”

“Wait until we give Israel to Iran in the next update. The Persian empire must rise again!” Fodos laughed.

“Hey watch this,” Ghartek said, “I’m going to mess with this guy by vanishing his orange toothbrush.” Ghartek made a couple clicks on his display and then somewhere in Siberia, a man couldn’t find his toothbrush, no matter where he looked.

“He’s checking the door to see if someone came in to steal it.” Ghartek smirked, pleased at his work.

Both Fodos and Ghartek were senior programmers on Bethlabus, a planet where a race of hyper-intelligent species called Homo futurans lived. They shared human genetic ancestry with those living in a simulation that they controlled, though technically the connection was only virtual. Real Homo sapiens died out long ago, following in the footsteps of their Homo erectus and Homo neanderthalensis ancestors. Futurans created the simulation to better understand their roots and their future, with a goal to prevent their own extinction. The simulation itself was housed on a quantum computer the size of a city block.

While there were dozens of simulations in operation, Simulation Earth was the most interesting. Not only was it the longest, spanning over 5 billion years, but it seemed to mirror what Futurans knew about their own past of spurts and stops in evolution that seemed to be a microcosm of the rise and fall of human empires. Data from the simulation was continually analyzed with reports presented yearly to the public through academic papers and conferences. “If we understand our past, we will safeguard our future,” the motto went.

The most important fact they learned from the simulations is the universal difficulty of intelligent organisms to properly foresee and plan again long-term disasters.  Once a species gets too technologically advanced, their over-confidence in problem solving and fixing the environment actually accelerates their demise instead of retarding it.
Read the whole thing there. It's better, and more genuinely science fiction, than anything that won a Nebula Award last week.

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72 Comments:

Blogger James Higham May 19, 2016 8:01 AM  

Maybe they should forget the tech and look at history repeating itself. It's easy to circumvent future conflagration if one knows who is behind it. And has always been.

Anonymous Pearl Bodine. May 19, 2016 8:06 AM  

Jethro. Jethro Bodine?

Now, I'm going to have to take issue, all the way from Bugtussel.

Blogger Josh May 19, 2016 8:14 AM  

SLAMMED IN MY BUTT BY A COMPUTER SIMULATION

Blogger Nate May 19, 2016 8:15 AM  

so Roosh scalzied the Matrix...

meh.

Blogger Salt May 19, 2016 8:20 AM  

That is quite entertaining.

Blogger Josh May 19, 2016 8:21 AM  

so Roosh scalzied the Matrix...

meh.


You clearly don't understand how important it is that the alt right now has its very own brown half savage writing derivative message fiction.

Anonymous trk May 19, 2016 8:22 AM  

If you nominate Roosh for a Hugo next year the SF SJW heads will explode into a tiny cloud of fat pink mist. Please nominate him.

Blogger Nate May 19, 2016 8:26 AM  

I would like the protest the use of half-savage to describe Roosh.

he's at least 80% barbarian.

Blogger Cataline Sergius May 19, 2016 8:30 AM  

I read this yesterday. I hadn't really thought Roosh had this in him.

For a freshman work it's impressive.

Blogger frigger611 May 19, 2016 8:31 AM  

An enjoyable read. I normally don't care too much for Roosh's prose, but this one was quite imaginative and well done.

My favorite part:
“I guess the ones who believe they are simulated are really no different from the atheists. They know the world is meaningless and random but want to continue living in it anyway.”

Profound in a simple sort of way. Beats the hell out of all my philosophy courses in college in the 80s on existentialism and Marxism (which of course, were required reading).

Anonymous Clay May 19, 2016 8:31 AM  

Doo hah.

I'd rather grill some boudain.

Done.

Blogger Lazarus May 19, 2016 8:39 AM  

Ghartek is a textual simulation.

Blogger Heaving Bosoms are the Mind Killer May 19, 2016 8:57 AM  

Nate wrote:he's at least 80% barbarian

The remaining 20% is dense facial hair.

Blogger Cataline Sergius May 19, 2016 9:07 AM  

Return of Kings is overcoming a lot of its gonzo growing pains. It almost a daily stop for me at this point. To my amazement I'm actually reading it for content at least once a week.

Blogger Cataline Sergius May 19, 2016 9:10 AM  

I'm still sorry reaxxion folded.

Blogger pdwalker May 19, 2016 9:23 AM  

Roosh has written a number of fiction short stories. He's quite good.

Blogger pyrrhus May 19, 2016 9:26 AM  

Great stuff!

Anonymous VFM #5651 May 19, 2016 9:31 AM  

Cataline Sergius wrote:Return of Kings is overcoming a lot of its gonzo growing pains. It almost a daily stop for me at this point.

Sadly blocked sometime last week by my employers' network administrators. Soon I will be forced to run my laptop's Internet connection solely off my phone's hotspot while at work, just to access sites that are not progressive propaganda.

Anonymous Mr. Rational May 19, 2016 9:47 AM  

Vox wrote:Read the whole thing there. It's better, and more genuinely science fiction, than anything that won a Nebula Award last week.
I smell a 2017 Puppies slate nominee.
trk wrote:the SF SJW heads will explode into a tiny cloud of fat pink mist.
That should be beside the point.  Giving them no legitimate grounds for objection without blowing up their claims that the Hugos are merit-based... that is what the Puppies have been about from the get-go.

Blogger Hostem Populi May 19, 2016 9:58 AM  

Imagine the rabbits coming to grips with Roosh having a Hugo nomination until the heat death of the universe.

Blogger Cataline Sergius May 19, 2016 10:15 AM  

Sadly blocked sometime last week by my employers' network administrators. Soon I will be forced to run my laptop's Internet connection solely off my phone's hotspot while at work, just to access sites that are not progressive propaganda.
So long as you can still access Salon and (*shudder*) the other vox, you have all the news that's fit to...uh...rot the brains of the innocent I suppose.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan May 19, 2016 10:29 AM  

The thing with white men's take on Roosh is that he is an outlier if you want to consider him non-white.

I guess that back in the heydays of clubbing as Roosh puts it the Supreme Beings of Vibrant Diversity were far fewer in the clubs and self selected towards the better. Over time the rest of lesser beings of vibrant diversity all thought they should have a hot white girlfriend and went to the clubs and voila, hot white chicks were grossed out and suddenly went all hipster faggy with their shit all retarded.

But then again it seems on the alt-right the white writers are mainly butt hurt gammas who take the Supreme Beings of Vibrant Diversity at face value.

Blogger Crowhill May 19, 2016 10:30 AM  

I've always been impressed with Roosh's writing.

Blogger Josh May 19, 2016 10:33 AM  

But then again it seems on the alt-right the white writers are mainly butt hurt gammas who take the Supreme Beings of Vibrant Diversity at face value.

The alt right is going to collapse in hilarious fashion

Anonymous Elkanahaon May 19, 2016 10:34 AM  

Not bad. Roosh's ongoing development as he continues to mature and expand beyond the straightforward PUA scene is very interesting to witness.

Blogger Hostem Populi May 19, 2016 10:48 AM  

@25

Would you care to give us a specific time frame for this prediction, or would that make the assertion testable?

Blogger Gapeseed May 19, 2016 10:57 AM  

Good stuff.

Anonymous meat eater 57 May 19, 2016 10:58 AM  

I enjoyed his other one posted last week, 'The Dream Recorder'. Its also a spin on the matrix but a good one; especially in how it extrapolates current trends to show us a possible future reality we'd do best to avoid.

I guess you could say they're polemics; but they're better written than Victoria.

Blogger Josh May 19, 2016 11:01 AM  

Would you care to give us a specific time frame for this prediction, or would that make the assertion testable?

Sure. If Trump loses, by the inauguration. If Trump wins, by the end of his first year in office.

Blogger Hostem Populi May 19, 2016 11:03 AM  

@30 Thank you.

Blogger Nate May 19, 2016 11:07 AM  

"Would you care to give us a specific time frame for this prediction, or would that make the assertion testable?"

I don't know why you would be so excited by this prediction. Basically Josh is prediting that the same thing will happen that has happen every other time for the last 100 years.

These movements always disentigrate... and its almost always for the same reasons. The egos of those involved.

Now... there is a counter argument to be made... but its not like the prediction is out-landish. One could even argue the cracks are already starting to show. The broohaha over Vox's heatstreet interviews are evidence of such cracks.

Does that mean Josh is correct and its a foregone conclusion?

No.

But it is certainly a rational defensible prediction.

Blogger Nick S May 19, 2016 11:19 AM  

Sure. If Trump loses, by the inauguration. If Trump wins, by the end of his first year in office.

When single payer health care is in full swing and there's still no wall by the end of his second term a few might realize they've been duped, but never underestimate people's capacity to blame, justify and excuse.

Blogger Hostem Populi May 19, 2016 11:31 AM  

@32 Who said I was excited? I asked a question and Josh gave an acceptable answer.

Anonymous fop May 19, 2016 11:35 AM  

Bang The Matrix

Blogger Snidely Whiplash May 19, 2016 11:45 AM  

Nick S wrote:When single payer health care is in full swing and there's still no wall by the end of his second term a few might realize they've been duped, but never underestimate people's capacity to blame, justify and excuse.
Oh, Lord, another Never-Trumper.
Face it, you LOST. Get over it, or get help.

Anonymous Jack Amok May 19, 2016 11:45 AM  

The alt right is going to collapse in hilarious fashion

I suppose it depends on what you think things like the alt-right or the Tea Party are. Are they standalone movements, with a beginning, and end, and no particular relevance outside that? Or are they the names we give to regions on a line of increasing radicalization, where movements don't so much end as morph into something more dangerous to the status quo?

Anonymous Instasetting May 19, 2016 11:52 AM  

Being a computer simulation doesn't really change anything. The proper response to 'am I a man dreaming of a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming of a man?' is whatever, dude.

Blogger bob k. mando May 19, 2016 11:58 AM  

speaking of simulations being exposed ... look at all of these "professional" writers and journalists who can't compose a remotely coherent sentence:
http://www.theguardian.com/books/booksblog/2016/may/19/dinosaur-porn-or-rabid-puppy-pastiche-the-strange-story-of-chuck-tingle
It’s easy to see why the Rabid Puppies would nominate Tingle; when a tingler appeared on the ballot, they must have had conniptions.


this is the definition of conniption:
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/conniption?s=t
"a fit of rage or tantrums"


it's easy to see why the Rapid Puppies would nominate Tingle; doing so triggers them into a tantrum rage.

how the FUCK do you get a logical progression out of that?

also, it's Vox that chooses who the Vile Faceless Minions vote for. the Rabids have no say in the matter.

and this is a "writer" for a major UK news outlet ...

Blogger Stephen St. Onge May 19, 2016 12:03 PM  

I'll probably Hugo nominate that next year. Really good.

Blogger Tom K. May 19, 2016 12:04 PM  

I never take these "reality is a simulation" memes seriously until I consider there are people reading tbem who can't think beyond a bold assertion and so accept the premise and with it much of its emotional nihilism. This is a bad thing.

The flaw in the whole "Reality is a Simulation" idea is it is merely pushing the question back a layer while not answering it at all. Like in the latest "Alien" movie (can't remember/don't care), where someone tells the religious woman her faith is wrong since "we found your creators", and she says, "And who created them?"

Nihilism is a mind-cancer that destroys every good thing in its path and replaces it with vacant despair. It produces nothing good because it is a negation of everything that is good.

The idea that reality is a simulation is nothing more than mental masturbation. It's fun but it produces nothing of value.

Blogger Tom K. May 19, 2016 12:08 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash May 19, 2016 12:16 PM  

Believing in The Matrix is an elaborate justification mechanism. If it's all a simulation, you have no moral agency, nothing you do matters, so, orgy time! Nihilism is not just moral poison, it's intellectual poison.

Why would a member of an alien race be "watching an orgy" to kill time? Especially when their sexual reactions are so different from their simulation subject? Do normal humans watch computer simulations of bedbugs copulating?

In all, vapid, intellectually shallow, and unoriginal. Good effort, tightly written, but not satisfying.6/10

Blogger Mark Mitchell May 19, 2016 12:29 PM  

The only logical position to hold is that everyone else (including all of you) is an NPC and I am the subject of the simulation. But as the good Colonel says, nothing of value is gained by such insight, and as the only point of such simulation would be to gather insight in how the ghost in the machine acts, one can only plough on under the same moral constraints as before.

Also, Fodos? Fodos....

Blogger Jon M May 19, 2016 12:36 PM  

"When single payer health care is in full swing and there's still no wall by the end of his second term a few might realize they've been duped,"

When the old school conservatives realized they had been duped they radicalized to tea partiers. When the tea parties realized they had been duped they radicalized into the alt right. If the alt right comes to realize that it has been duped it will radicalize into something even more powerful and more dangerous.

The establishment's doom is already written. The alt right is now the last best hope for a graceful landing. If it fails, its successor will make the alt right look like a bunch of kittens.

Blogger Nick S May 19, 2016 12:49 PM  

The establishment's doom is already written. The alt right is now the last best hope for a graceful landing. If it fails, its successor will make the alt right look like a bunch of kittens.

Agree, almost completely. There is no hope for a graceful landing. It's gonna get ugly.

Blogger Jon M May 19, 2016 1:21 PM  

There is *always* hope. That said, you're right not to count on it. Smart men hope for the best, expect the worst.

Blogger Hostem Populi May 19, 2016 1:23 PM  

@45 No, the simulation argument posits that everyone would be an NPC, but have an individual AI mind that's effectively indistinguishable from a "real" mind.

Blogger Jon M May 19, 2016 1:26 PM  

As to Roosh, there is a big part of me that is glad I only stumbled on to his writing in the last year or so. He is like the reverse Heinlein - the older he gets the less sexually outrageous. he gets, and his writing improves as a result.

Blogger Ahazuerus May 19, 2016 1:32 PM  

@Mark Mitchell

Either way, it boils down to the same thing; life is a test of who we are.

Either we're tested by someone outside of the simulation or by someone inside of it.

Blogger endwatcher May 19, 2016 1:36 PM  

Sure let's continue to fawn over minorities, sexual deviants, etc who write something that make us think they get it. Are we really this needy for validation?



Blogger bob k. mando May 19, 2016 1:39 PM  

32. Nate May 19, 2016 11:07 AM
But it is certainly a rational defensible prediction.



rational, shmational.

rationality is a tool created by the misogynist, heterosexual, White Oppressor Class Patriarchy to subjugate reality and all of the other races and genders ... who are simply social constructs.

if you parse the above closely, you'll notice that White Hetero Men are the only 'class' based in reality.

all other classes are simply delusions of subjugation created by the directors of society in order to bind the lower classes to their handicaps of their own volition. in the same way that deaf people consider it a 'betrayal' for one of their number to get cochlear implants, it's much easier to keep the crabs in the pot when they're always pulling each other back in.

NK Jemisin is a fully savage American Negro woman? all in her head. *we* just convinced her that she should act all retarded. in actuality, she's a White-Hetero-Man with an IQ over 9000. but it suits our purposes to convince her that she should mummer otherwise.

we do need servants, after all.

Anonymous DT May 19, 2016 1:46 PM  

It's better, and more genuinely science fiction, than anything that won a Nebula Award last week.

That's because Ghartek keeps messing with the awards.

On a semi serious note: I've often wondered what TENS atheists would do if quantum physicists discovered hard evidence that this universe is a construct or "sim" of some sort. There are physicists who are thinking in that direction.

Personally I can't help but think "processing constraint" every time I ponder gravity, c, and time dilation.

And I would swear, when dealing with some liberals, that I've encountered a NPC.

Blogger VD May 19, 2016 2:08 PM  

Sure let's continue to fawn over minorities, sexual deviants, etc who write something that make us think they get it. Are we really this needy for validation?

Roosh is one of my allies. Who is this "we" of whom you speak, kemosabe?

Blogger Were-Puppy May 19, 2016 2:12 PM  

This whole thing reminds me of an answer Conan gives Belit (Queen of the Black Coast) when she asks "What do you believe, Conan?"

"Let teachers and priests and philosophers brood over questions of reality and illusion. I know this: If life is illusion, then I am no less an illusion, and being thus, the illusion is real to me. I live, I burn with life, I love, I slay and am content."

Blogger bob k. mando May 19, 2016 3:24 PM  

52. endwatcher May 19, 2016 1:36 PM
Sure let's continue to fawn over minorities,



Vox is part American Indian, part Mexican ( double helping of American Aboriginal ) you moron.

we like minorities just fine, here.

Blogger Feather Blade May 19, 2016 3:51 PM  

Instasetting wrote:Being a computer simulation doesn't really change anything. The proper response to 'am I a man dreaming of a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming of a man?' is whatever, dude.

And here I thought it was "Or am I a bowling ball dreaming I'm a plate of spaghetti?"

Snidely Whiplash wrote:Do normal humans watch computer simulations of bedbugs copulating?

Internet says "not beyond the realm of possibility".

... though yes, humans would be watching actual video, rather than a simulation.

Blogger Josh May 19, 2016 4:09 PM  

we like minorities just fine, here.

DEMS ARE THE REAL RACISTS(c)

Blogger weka May 19, 2016 4:31 PM  

I think it came out last year, so it may not be available as a short work for teh awardz of teh Peoples' Republic of Science Fiction Illiterates Travyon award, (formerly named for that Racist unperson Hugo Gernsback).

Blogger Aeoli Pera May 19, 2016 4:33 PM  

That would explain why I can't ever find anything.

Anonymous DT May 19, 2016 5:48 PM  

@60 - I think it came out last year, so it may not be available as a short work for teh awardz of teh Peoples' Republic of Science Fiction Illiterates Travyon award,

Yes, but what if Roosh feels like it came out this year? Cis normative temporal beings should not judged the differently clocked.

Blogger Aeoli Pera May 19, 2016 6:39 PM  

Differently clocked...that would explain more things.

Anonymous BGKB May 19, 2016 7:28 PM  

we like minorities just fine, here.

Especially Milo and GRRM, but I am willing to give up the availability of $20 home depot wetback BJs in exchange for less illegal alien drunk drivers.

Do normal humans watch computer simulations of bedbugs copulating?

In their time line arabs must not have been wiped out, when Meca got nuked. Wasn't there a jewish made movie about someone in the bible that included 2 snakes copulating?

Agree, almost completely. There is no hope for a graceful landing. It's gonna get ugly.

That's why we fled to Whitopia Iron Chest training to survive a Pinochet Helicopter ride is unrealistic.

Blogger weka May 19, 2016 9:49 PM  

@BGKB.
Tge Golden Horde Will Roll Over all the SWPL vibrant inner city gentrification, then the white suburbs when the benefits stop.

You beat bet is to be answer the hillbillies are.

Blogger bob k. mando May 19, 2016 11:03 PM  

59. Josh May 19, 2016 4:09 PM
DEMS ARE THE REAL RACISTS(c)



actually, i meant "here" as in "on the internet".

you know, where i don't actually have to deal with Vox's constant inebriation and smelly squaw.

Anonymous Gone Jalt May 20, 2016 12:12 AM  

"His wife kissed his horn and brushed her claw against his leathery face. Ghartek’s one-inch Futuran erection instantly formed and he rolled her into the bedroom for lovemaking."

1) What is this / why did I read this / what have you done ?
2) Shockingly, this was a better-than-awful short story.

Blogger Automatthew of the Heaving Bosoms May 20, 2016 12:15 AM  

Username deconstruction: "endwatcher"

Long time lurker, possibly a known troll. The name is a riff on Ender's Game. "Ender" plus "Buttwatcher" (cover your butt, Bernard is watching).

It's some pathetic Gamma's veiled reference to Vox's son Ender, and a millipede's attempt to bite an ankle. Faggot gammas are faggoty, what can I say?

Blogger Automatthew of the Heaving Bosoms May 20, 2016 12:17 AM  

bob, if you ever feel like emailing me, I think we'd enjoy conversing.

Blogger John Morris May 20, 2016 12:51 AM  

Actually, it should be very useful to find out we are in a simulation. The only way to prove it would be to discover a flaw, i.e. a bug. Next step is to then quietly (if it becomes widely known the simulation could be shut down, so no press release and no flying around like Neo) study the rules of the system, discover what sort of shortcuts are being taken to make such a simulation run on a system smaller than a universe, which should allow the finding of more bugs and work toward the ultimate prize. The exploitable bug. Who wouldn't love to have a root exploit on 'reality' itself?

Blogger bob k. mando May 20, 2016 1:01 AM  

69. Automatthew of the Heaving Bosoms May 20, 2016 12:17 AM
bob, if you ever feel like emailing me, I think we'd enjoy conversing.


what if you're the smelly squaw i'm trying to keep at arm's length?

anywho, my email is the obvious one.

considering that your Blogger profile is locked, you'll probably need to email me.

unless your email is also the bobvious one.

Anonymous Athor Pel May 20, 2016 8:47 AM  

" 25. Blogger Josh May 19, 2016 10:33 AM
...
The alt right is going to collapse in hilarious fashion"



" 32. Blogger Nate May 19, 2016 11:07 AM
...
Does that mean Josh is correct and its a foregone conclusion?

No.

But it is certainly a rational defensible prediction."



What it is is a curse. It isn't mere pessimism. It's willful and malicious.

Josh may be a perfectly polite gentleman in real life but on here he's reliably nihilistic and not only that he enjoys it. To Josh everybody but Josh is an idiot, everybody but Josh is doing it wrong, everybody but Josh is doomed to failure.

I've rarely seen him add anything constructive to the conversation or say something to lift someone's spirits. In fact now that I'm thinking about it I can't remember anything he's said purely for the benefit of someone else. His criticisms are not constructive, they are destructive. The evidence says Josh is sadist and has a mental age of 15.

Anonymous Instasetting May 20, 2016 10:57 AM  

OT, but jumping off from #70, what should Neo have done in Matrix II?

Anonymous Taarkoth May 20, 2016 9:52 PM  

@73 Acted an actual nerd and put on his robe and wizard hat then fire balled the fuck out of everything.

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