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Thursday, August 11, 2016

Remember, women NEVER LIE about rape

I cannot believe this. I am LITERALLY shaking with rage right now. This woman was RAPED and yet neither her husband nor the police believe her. WOMEN NEVER LIE ABOUT RAPE!
Police say a young woman has lodged a formal complaint that she has been raped - by a Pokemon. She told officers that she had been sexually assaulted by a giant Pokemon in her apartment in the Russian capital city of Moscow.

The married woman, whose name has not been released, had reportedly been playing Pokemon GO before she fell asleep. She claimed that she woke up to find a huge Pokemon lying on top of her body and says it was raping her.

The woman says the Pokemon disappeared when she jumped out of bed - but says the Pokemon GO app on her phone could still detect the same virtual character's presence on her bed.

She woke up her husband to tell her what had happened who told police officers that he did not believe her and told her to see a psychiatrist. Russian news website Bloknot reports that the police did not believe her either.
If you don't believe that Pokemon rape is real, you are part of the problem. Pokemon is rape culture.

Labels: ,

94 Comments:

Anonymous VFM #6306 August 11, 2016 10:37 AM  

Oh no. Rape has evolved.

Blogger Orville August 11, 2016 10:40 AM  

Don't get poked by the Pokeman. Pokeman is the new Slender Man.

Best Tools For Men

Blogger horsewithnonick August 11, 2016 10:44 AM  

My God, the snark just writes itself on this one, doesn't it?

#NotAllPokemon

Anonymous Difster August 11, 2016 10:45 AM  

#PokeRape

Blogger Chiva August 11, 2016 10:45 AM  

I chose you Pokeboner.

Blogger Crank August 11, 2016 10:46 AM  

I believe WOMEN!!

Blogger Brian S August 11, 2016 10:46 AM  

lawnmower man is back

Blogger Sentient Spud August 11, 2016 10:47 AM  

Gengar are notorious for this. Warning: Graphic Photo

Blogger #7139 August 11, 2016 10:47 AM  

I have not downloaded Pokemon GO. So I am safe, I think...

Blogger Dexter August 11, 2016 10:48 AM  

Russian police advised the husband: "Slap the stupid out of your wife, eh? A woman is not a pot, she won't break when you hit her."*

* Actual Russian proverb!

Blogger CM August 11, 2016 10:48 AM  

"I literallly can't even..."

Feels like a perfectly reasonable response to this.

What drugs is she on? I mean, sometimes my game playing induces weird stuff without enhancing drug use, but when fully awake, my sensibilities are intact.

Blogger JP August 11, 2016 10:48 AM  

Was it a Dicklet?

Blogger J A Baker August 11, 2016 10:50 AM  

Was it a Bilclintachu?

Blogger YIH August 11, 2016 10:50 AM  

Of course not, just ask Steve Sailer.
But geez, Pokemon GO? That just left me dumbfounded. A new level in idiocy, a video game character ''raped''.
Anyone familer with the game series knows that sex and death are topics that are very carefully handled - as in very vaugely implied only. Remember the game series was created for a pre-teen audience.

Blogger Krul August 11, 2016 10:52 AM  

Was it a tentaclemon?

Blogger 4499 August 11, 2016 10:53 AM  

Pi-ka...pika...pika pika pikapikapikapika PIKACHUUUUUUUUUUUU!! PIKACHUUUUU!!! OH, oh, pika, pika pika pika, zzzzzzzzzzz.

Anonymous BGKB August 11, 2016 10:54 AM  

Was it a Dicklet? Milo has been leveling up his nigglets.

Anonymous Elipe August 11, 2016 10:56 AM  

#AllPokémonDicksMatter

Anonymous Elipe August 11, 2016 10:58 AM  

New Game technique revealed: dress up as a Pikachu and have sex while wearing it. If she regrets it later, the only thing she can tell them is that Pikachu raped her.

Blogger Alexander August 11, 2016 10:58 AM  

Yes, yes very interesting. But let's get to the crux of the matter.

Assuming she caught the rape, what are its base stats?

Blogger YIH August 11, 2016 11:01 AM  

Sentient Spud wrote:Gengar are notorious for this. Warning: Graphic Photo
Deleted. Tinypic doesn't like NSFW. But yeah, there's TONS of rule 34 Pokemon fanart, you name it, every combination of human or creature character you can think of. Google it with Safe Search off, NSFW of course, prepare to have your mind blown.

Blogger Krul August 11, 2016 11:02 AM  

Was it a Smeargle

Anonymous ZhukovG August 11, 2016 11:03 AM  

Stay away from cheap Vodka.

Anonymous NateM August 11, 2016 11:04 AM  

Well it's the Pokémon people's fault for putting Dildoga in the game....

Rapeceratops uses Trigger!
It's Super Effective!

Blogger Orville August 11, 2016 11:05 AM  

Those Japanese are freaks!

http://nextshark.com/japanese-people-using-female-vibrators-cheat-pokemon-go/

And if that's not enough, then Google Japanese toys. Visual train wreck! You can't stop looking.

Blogger Nate August 11, 2016 11:08 AM  

I shared an etsy page that sold pokemon based sex toys... including a pikachu tail shaped butt plug that was particarly disturbing.

The worst part though.. was the male commenters who lamented that there were no male centric toys available.

So apparently there is are people out there that actually want to masturbate with a pikachu.

this is why we drink.

Anonymous VonSteuben August 11, 2016 11:11 AM  

This is why affirmative consent is so crucial. Rape wouldn't have happened, Pokemon can't even speak English.

Blogger YIH August 11, 2016 11:15 AM  

She woke up her husband to tell her what had happened who told police officers that he did not believe her and told her to see a psychiatrist.
I normally don't think too highly of shrinks, but this poor shink I can feel sorry for.

Blogger Undocumented Pharmacist August 11, 2016 11:16 AM  

Pics or it didn't happen. Video would be better though.

Blogger Orville August 11, 2016 11:18 AM  

I'm starting to come around to the Victorian female Hysteria concept. You do know that's where vibrators originated.

Blogger Orville August 11, 2016 11:18 AM  

The mechanical ones, not the ancient sex rites ones.

Anonymous Stephen J. August 11, 2016 11:19 AM  

I don't know, I half-buy it. Sounds no stranger than some furry conventions I've heard about.

Blogger Orville August 11, 2016 11:20 AM  

She wanted Godzilla, but only got Pokemon.

Blogger Whisker biscuit August 11, 2016 11:23 AM  

Squirrtled all over the place

Blogger Sentient Spud August 11, 2016 11:24 AM  

@33 She wanted Godzilla, but only got Pokemon.

Are you implying that this was regret rape?

Maybe she'd have different feelings if a Charizard had jumped her.

Anonymous fop August 11, 2016 11:26 AM  

Probably a Cosbychu.

Blogger Ingot9455 August 11, 2016 11:27 AM  

@20 You haven't even found out if they're in compatible Egg Groups yet.

Blogger Chris Jackson August 11, 2016 11:39 AM  

I can't even...

Blogger YIH August 11, 2016 11:41 AM  

Ingot9455 wrote:@20 You haven't even found out if they're in compatible Egg Groups yet.
Pair it off with a Ditto, it's the only one that can genuinly be called 'genderless'. You match it with any other and it morphs to the opposite sex copy of the other one.

OpenID malcolmthecynic August 11, 2016 11:42 AM  

Either she had an affair and is worried she's pregnant and panicked, or she's honestly lost it and should be talking to a psychaitrist.

Blogger Erynne August 11, 2016 11:45 AM  

It sounds like sleep paralysis, and because she might not believe in demons or aliens, and because the last thing in her conscious mind was Pokemon GO, she experienced a pokemon raping her, hilarious!

Anonymous Raptor disrespect from behind August 11, 2016 11:45 AM  

Gotta F em all!

Blogger Robert Divinity August 11, 2016 11:46 AM  

Was Michelle Fields a Russian twin adopted at birth by Americans? If this had happened in the United States, police would be interviewing men who look like Pokémon.

Anonymous Literally Hitler August 11, 2016 11:48 AM  

She probably just had sleep paralysis.

Anonymous The OASF August 11, 2016 11:53 AM  

It was actually Vldamir Putin dressed up as a the giant Pokemon.

He is, after all, a war criminal and the Hitler of our time. And a Pokemon dress-up rapist, too!

Blogger Shimshon August 11, 2016 11:54 AM  

"this is why we drink."

Nate, don't tell me you save the good stuff for this.

Blogger Timmy3 August 11, 2016 11:54 AM  

Her husband was next to her while she was allegedly raped. Not a good sign for the husband.

Blogger Stg58/Animal Mother August 11, 2016 11:55 AM  

This woman's husband needs to sell her to the circus. Then knock up an 18 year old Russian babe.

Blogger Nate August 11, 2016 11:57 AM  

"Nate, don't tell me you save the good stuff for this."

No. No this is what Wild Turkey 101 is for.

Blogger Dave August 11, 2016 11:58 AM  

What level was she at? Asking for a friend.

Anonymous NorthernHamlet August 11, 2016 12:02 PM  

VD,

I am LITERALLY shaking with rage right now.

About a decade on this blog, and you almost got me with that one.

But who doesn't love the old lightening rod of the classic Rapechu?

#notallpokemon

Blogger 4499 August 11, 2016 12:07 PM  

Porkemon.

Blogger Nick S August 11, 2016 12:09 PM  

"I shared an etsy page that sold pokemon based sex toys"

How, exactly, does one accidentally acquire the knowledge of such a page?

Blogger pyrrhus August 11, 2016 12:12 PM  

"Either she had an affair and is worried she's pregnant and panicked, or she's honestly lost it and should be talking to a psychiatrist."

What good would that do?

Blogger residentMoron August 11, 2016 12:16 PM  

"Gotta F em all!"

#LoveWins!

Blogger Nick S August 11, 2016 12:18 PM  

Never mind, Nate. Lemme guess. You got Orville rolled.

Blogger GracieLou August 11, 2016 12:23 PM  

"WOMEN NEVER LIE ABOUT RAPE!" unless Hillary Clinton is defending the perp...or the perp goes "Hallah hallah hallah!"

Blogger Chrom August 11, 2016 12:36 PM  

This certainly explains all the "Sorry your wife was raped by Pokemon" greeting cards hitting the Moscow stores lately.

Anonymous Be Not Afraid August 11, 2016 12:51 PM  

@53
You're asking for a friend, right?

Blogger Were-Puppy August 11, 2016 12:52 PM  

Must have been one of those rare Red CommiePuffs

Blogger Were-Puppy August 11, 2016 12:53 PM  

In her defense, I'm going to suggest she is suffering from massive sleep deprivation, or even narcolepsy.

But yeah, it's an illusion :P

Blogger Alexamenos August 11, 2016 12:55 PM  

Is it weird if I found her story highly arousing?

Blogger Were-Puppy August 11, 2016 12:58 PM  

@47 Timmy3
Her husband was next to her while she was allegedly raped. Not a good sign for the husband.
---

He is a rare subbreed of Cuck, the Pokeservative

Blogger Nate August 11, 2016 12:58 PM  

"Is it weird if I found her story highly arousing?"

are you japanese?

Blogger Were-Puppy August 11, 2016 1:00 PM  

Then I guess that old saying is true,

"In Russia, the Game plays You"

Blogger Nate August 11, 2016 1:01 PM  

"How, exactly, does one accidentally acquire the knowledge of such a page?"

dudeiwantthat.com

Also how I learned butthole shaped chocolate candy was a thing.

Blogger Were-Puppy August 11, 2016 1:01 PM  

Whatever you do, don't type "Dog Pikachu" into the search box on YouTube

Blogger Nate August 11, 2016 1:09 PM  

honeslty I'm tempted to start putting pokemon stuffed animals onto male masturbation sleeves and selling them online.

it would be huge in japan... and... judging by twitter... among gamergate.

I could even make it scream "PIKA! PEEEEEEKAAAACHOOOOO!" every so often while in use.

Blogger The Bechtloff August 11, 2016 1:11 PM  

If she didn't want it, she should have used repel.

Blogger Nate August 11, 2016 1:19 PM  

also... given the traffic numbers of this blog... at least 3 people read my last comment and got aroused.

this is also why we drink.

Blogger YIH August 11, 2016 1:36 PM  

Nate wrote:honeslty I'm tempted to start putting pokemon stuffed animals onto male masturbation sleeves and selling them online.

it would be huge in japan... and... judging by twitter... among gamergate.

I could even make it scream "PIKA! PEEEEEEKAAAACHOOOOO!" every so often while in use.

Well, it's already been done for (NSFW) My Little Pony so why not?

Blogger Nate August 11, 2016 1:46 PM  

"Well, it's already been done for (NSFW) My Little Pony so why not? "

...

Shut her down boys. Pack it up. The earth is done.

Blogger Dave August 11, 2016 1:56 PM  

I could even make it scream "PIKA! PEEEEEEKAAAACHOOOOO!" every so often while in use.

Nate, with that level of personal service you'd have a sure-fire hit on your hands.

Anonymous Eric the Red August 11, 2016 2:10 PM  

It needs to be said often and hard to those who're uninformed...

Traditional Western society was created primarily to prevent women from believing their own bullshit. When men stop putting in the hard work to sustain such tradition, then women quickly succumb to their innate narcissistic tendencies, and pull the rest of society down with them. Women are no more prone to being abused than men, but have been allowed to destroy Western civilization simply to cater to their lack of responsibility for their own feelings.

Blogger Noah B August 11, 2016 2:18 PM  

A quick Amazon search reveals a variety of Pokemon costumes for sale. Disturbingly, most of them are for children.

Anonymous Lulabelle August 11, 2016 3:13 PM  

"Also how I learned butthole shaped chocolate candy was a thing."

WHAT

Blogger Aeoli Pera August 11, 2016 3:37 PM  

Hypnopompia.

Anonymous Andrew E. August 11, 2016 3:38 PM  

Incubus?

Blogger Aeoli Pera August 11, 2016 3:41 PM  

Literally Hitler wrote:She probably just had sleep paralysis.

Yup. Still probably a bit off in the head though, most people would just say WTF and keep it to themselves.

Blogger Aeoli Pera August 11, 2016 3:47 PM  

This is what we get for bringing Pokemon into our world. They need to go back.

Blogger Salt August 11, 2016 4:11 PM  

The inter-dimensional gateway has ben breached. It's Pokemon now, all the way down.

Anonymous Ain August 11, 2016 4:22 PM  

Probably made up, but could be a case of incubus.

Blogger guest August 11, 2016 4:42 PM  

Don't laugh. The mother of Alexander the Great, Olympias, was raped by Zeus.

Blogger Krul August 11, 2016 4:50 PM  

You can't spell Pokemon without "Poke".

Anonymous kfg August 11, 2016 5:02 PM  

It was just doing what had to be done to protect her from the alien with the anal probe.

Blogger Nate August 11, 2016 5:37 PM  

"WHAT"

I shit you not.

no pun intended.

Look we either bombed japan to much... or not enough.

Anonymous Ain August 11, 2016 6:25 PM  

"Don't laugh. The mother of Alexander the Great, Olympias, was raped by Zeus."

I believe the Genesis 6 account of fallen angels (Nephalim) and earth women producing the great, giant men of renown (Rephaim). Many if not most creation myths concern the sky coming into the earth to produce the gods, and this can be a reference to angels coming down to the earth from the sky and mating with women. (Osiris's golden phallus can be an allusion to the belief that a woman having sex with these beings will cause her to give birth to a god.)

The Rephaim before the flood (and perhaps after) are the demons of today. Their sexual appetites have not waned and are expressed in many of the sins that they lead people into, especially when possessing them. I don't know if incubus and succubus are a physical thing or something one experiences in dreams and nightmares. The former seems more feasible, though some people claim to have gotten physically beaten up in the process.

Blogger JCclimber August 11, 2016 7:51 PM  

I know some Christians who carefully and prayerfully do spiritualism and demon research. A few years ago, they interviewed a former witch doctor in Africa. He was able to name each Pokemon demon by its picture. And give some information about what type of demon it was and its behavior.

The creators make it cute - Oh, it's a Pocket Monster, so cute and fun!

In my opinion, it is like selling the Ouija board in the game section of the toy store. Thanks Parker Brothers.

I wouldn't bet too much against this woman's story having some factual basis. But if true, this husband has bigger problems than just a rape fantasy gone wild.

Blogger Lazarus August 11, 2016 10:48 PM  

Lulabelle wrote:"Also how I learned butthole shaped chocolate candy was a thing."

WHAT


Ask the GOOGLE about the Japanese Fertility Festival and look at the images.

I have two memorial suckers on a stick. One is male, and one is female genitalia.

And no, I have not tried them.

That is my story and I am sticking to it.

Sticking...
to...
it...

Blogger Lazarus August 11, 2016 10:56 PM  

Nate wrote:Look we either bombed japan to much... or not enough.

I'll take "not enough" for $200, Nate.

Look at their house address system:

FFS

If the whole thing hadda been bombed to oblivion, they might have to rebuild sensible like.

Blogger Lazarus August 11, 2016 11:04 PM  

Ain wrote:I believe the Genesis 6 account of fallen angels (Nephalim) and earth women producing the great, giant men of renown (Rephaim)

Ask THE GOOGLE about "giant mid-east skeletons"

Plenty of archeological evidence. This is why the Hebrews were told to commit genocide in the Promised Land.

Anonymous Spartacus xxxxx August 12, 2016 12:11 AM  

Apropos of absolutely nothing, some research results from the esteemed Dr. Ho Li Fuk-

http://michaelbach.de/ot/mot-mib/index.html

Hmmm, how to walk this back onto topic? Onto every. single. topic?

Anonymous Ain August 12, 2016 1:16 AM  

Lazarus, well said. It's also the reason for the great flood.

The days of Noah were interesting times.

Blogger Ezekiel August 12, 2016 2:13 PM  

Ain wrote:"Don't laugh. The mother of Alexander the Great, Olympias, was raped by Zeus."

I believe the Genesis 6 account of fallen angels (Nephalim) and earth women producing the great, giant men of renown (Rephaim). Many if not most creation myths concern the sky coming into the earth to produce the gods, and this can be a reference to angels coming down to the earth from the sky and mating with women. (Osiris's golden phallus can be an allusion to the belief that a woman having sex with these beings will cause her to give birth to a god.)

The Rephaim before the flood (and perhaps after) are the demons of today. Their sexual appetites have not waned and are expressed in many of the sins that they lead people into, especially when possessing them. I don't know if incubus and succubus are a physical thing or something one experiences in dreams and nightmares. The former seems more feasible, though some people claim to have gotten physically beaten up in the process.

Yeah... I first read this story and my mind jumped immediately to it being an incubus or some other kind of sleep-demon. If we start seeing a rash of such attacks reported... it might be something worth getting concerned over.

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