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Friday, August 26, 2016

Top 10 signs your kid is #AltRight

These three were my favorites:

  • They refer to you as a “cuck” when you put on FOX News.
  • They refer to their curfew as “the downfall of Western civilization.”
  • When you ask them which Disney or Pixar character they want to show up to their birthday party, they scream at you and say: “I only want Pepe!”

Labels:

69 Comments:

Anonymous NatLib August 26, 2016 1:52 PM  

7. You find a “Make America Great Again” hat which is hidden inside their sock drawer.

I'm gonna try to shop a MAGA hat the anti-drug ad:
"Where did you learn how to do this?"
"I learned it by watching you!"

OpenID paworldandtimes August 26, 2016 1:57 PM  

11. He gets a good job, learns the classics, worships God, marries a virgin, builds a home, has five White children whom he homeschools, and then he says FUCK YOU DAD!

PA

Blogger Dave August 26, 2016 2:01 PM  

Those are awesome, although for most kids it would be a very dicey proposition calling their parent a "cuck". The parents may think you said something else.

Blogger tridekka August 26, 2016 2:06 PM  

PA, sounds great. Where to find some though? Even 10 years ago when I practically lived at church, a stupidly small portion of the female population were virgins. The vast majority of women I knew that were were either my cousins or sisters.

Obviously, I didn't live in Alabama.

Anonymous VFM #7916 August 26, 2016 2:07 PM  

@2

Dear God, I might be ALT-RIGHT! Quick, someone send me to Tolerance Camp!!

OpenID b1bae96e-6447-11e3-b6bb-000f20980440 August 26, 2016 2:18 PM  

Mom posted this on FB the other day. She is a prog to stupid to enjoy the wonders of our community and always frustrated that the rest of us are progs. Apparently she doesn't have the good sense not to complain about that at home because based 6 year old.

Boy: Mom can I play video games
Mom: No, its before school. You can't play games before school
Boy: Hillary is a liar, I am voting for Trump

Anonymous TheSmokingMan#3424 August 26, 2016 2:22 PM  

Tridekka, I found mine after her family left a hard-conservative/bordered on cultish Church. Comb the christian network near you for home-schooled girls. Just ask the older women of the church. Tell them that you are looking for a wife... they will comb it for you. Find one whose family bought into the "i kissed dating goodbye" and then proceed to break them out of the mindset. the article (google "Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed by Thomas Umstattd") helped a bunch. Proceed to happily ever after.

Anonymous fop August 26, 2016 2:26 PM  

#11) You ask him if he wants juice and he says "Yeah, back in Israel where they belong."

Blogger tz August 26, 2016 2:29 PM  

Sam Adams over John Adams.

Anonymous Thread Hijack August 26, 2016 2:30 PM  

Virgins R Us 1-800-Virgins

Anonymous WaterBoy August 26, 2016 2:36 PM  

#11: They vote against their father to force him to wear a tutu in a fundraising event. AWCA-in-training.

AND NOW WINGS!

(I honestly hope it will be a sparkly magic wand at $15,000....)

Anonymous Ehyewin August 26, 2016 2:48 PM  

11. They think Ann Coulter is the most beautiful anorexic who has ever lived.

12. The pup tent in their pants when they see holocaust documentaries

Blogger Josh August 26, 2016 2:54 PM  


11. They think Ann Coulter is the most beautiful anorexic who has ever lived.


Bahahaha

OpenID paworldandtimes August 26, 2016 2:59 PM  

12. They like Angry Birds.

PA

Blogger Thomas Davidsmeier August 26, 2016 3:00 PM  

@7

I have to admit that the Umstattd article was interesting. I've got to mull some of that over. I've been wondering why some families in our church have mostly unmarried older children and others have married all of theirs off. I bet it is their approach to courtship.

However, I really don't like Umstattd using the phrase "Greatest Generation Ever" to try to sell his approach to dating. That's putting up a red flag to me.

Blogger Aeoli Pera August 26, 2016 3:01 PM  

Clickbait like this is a sign that the MOPs are invading the geek subculture. In this case it's intended, so I assume the creative class is happy about it.

Anonymous Mike August 26, 2016 3:01 PM  

Your buddy, Walter Hudson, has yet another screed up about the Alt-Right. This time he's openly cherry-picking from you.

OpenID paworldandtimes August 26, 2016 3:01 PM  

13. They tell their dad: "as long as I live under your roof, you'll lift."

PA

Blogger Aeoli Pera August 26, 2016 3:04 PM  

Thread Hijack wrote:Virgins R Us 1-800-Virgins

R they 2-D tho?

Anonymous BGKB August 26, 2016 3:07 PM  

That site had another article: What’s the point in championing diversity when it all grinds to a halt at the first sniff of a diverse opinion?

Anonymous Frankenstein McBadperson August 26, 2016 3:07 PM  

Dunno if you know your rock n roll history well enough (jeez, you have the bad taste to be a techno punk) but you just made a great joke, even if you don't realize it. But maybe you do, not sure. "The Kids Are Alt Right"? I'ma buy you a beer, dude.

Anonymous fop August 26, 2016 3:11 PM  

#12) The only thing he builds with his Legos is "a big beautiful wall".

Anonymous Steveo August 26, 2016 3:14 PM  

They are down with combat rhetoric.

Anonymous Tipo 61 August 26, 2016 3:14 PM  

He wears a Joseph Sobran teeshirt but you don't care because you've never heard of him.

Anonymous Kapper August 26, 2016 3:16 PM  

#11) When you find a copy of SJWs always lie under their bedroom pillow.

Blogger CarpeOro August 26, 2016 3:21 PM  

“I only want Pepe!”

OK, I'll admit to being lost on that one. Who or what is Pepe? A google search finds Pepe Le Pew (WB) and a king prawn character.

Blogger bob k. mando August 26, 2016 3:31 PM  

you know what would be great?

if they could get a call-and-response going at a Hillary event that went
"Pepe"
"ribbit"



25. CarpeOro August 26, 2016 3:21 PM
OK, I'll admit to being lost on that one. Who or what is Pepe?



http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/pepe-the-frog

Anonymous Rick Atlas August 26, 2016 3:31 PM  

2d? No but they do come with a third-leg free of charge.

Blogger Dave Narby August 26, 2016 3:34 PM  

Keep this in mind (and in play) going forward - Those that caused the problem (and co-signed the bullshit) should not be allowed a word in solving the problems they caused:

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2016-08-26/reckoning-looms-central-bankers-really-dont-know-what-theyre-doing

Anonymous WaterBoy August 26, 2016 3:41 PM  

"The Kids Are Alt Right"

That's because...

Mommy's Alt Right
Daddy's Alt Right
They just seem a little we-e-e-e-eird.

Anonymous Theodore August 26, 2016 3:51 PM  

VOXXY, the VFMs, and the rest of the future leaders of America reading:


(((they))) are starting to take shiksa wives en masse in my town...
i sense a evolutionary reproductive strategy being ordered from their beacon in israel.
all the rabbis are seemingly on board, obviously. goy genes are a hot ticket in jewville these days. (who the fawk wants tay sachs anyways?)


(((THEY))) ARE NOW TAKING OUR WOMEN HOSTAGE.

the future is not certain for their tribe, and they sense it.
many of them in my town are openly talking of moving to lily white NZ or northern CA...


(((THEY))) WILL BE TAKING WHITE SHIKSA PUREBLOOD WOMEN WITH THEM
(((they))) latched onto us as parasites, sucked the blood out, and now they are trying to take our genes.

trust me. (((they))) are organized and plotting for the fall.
i'm living in their hive.


giving all the bros and sisters a heads up. take it or leave it. date accordingly from here on out.

today: go ask that hot white girl out young man!

MAGA up!

Anonymous BGKB August 26, 2016 3:58 PM  

https://pjmedia.com/trending/2016/08/26/6-chilling-facts-about-the-alt-right/?singlepage=true

In the article hoosiertoo gaye a negative review of CUCKSERVATIVE in the comments

OpenID paworldandtimes August 26, 2016 4:00 PM  

"Mother should I build the wall?
Mother should I run for President?
Mother should I trust the government?"

PA

OpenID paworldandtimes August 26, 2016 4:08 PM  

"Oooh babe, of course Mexico's gonna help build the wall."

PA

Blogger Were-Puppy August 26, 2016 4:18 PM  

@31 BGKB

https://pjmedia.com/trending/2016/08/26/6-chilling-facts-about-the-alt-right/?singlepage=true

In the article hoosiertoo gaye a negative review of CUCKSERVATIVE in the comments
---

I also noticed someone has already determined BigGaySteve is a nazi :P

OpenID paworldandtimes August 26, 2016 4:19 PM  

"Momma won't let anyone dirty get through"

(Caint help myself!)

Blogger Were-Puppy August 26, 2016 4:21 PM  

#next

When you send them to their room, they rant "I'm not a candy ass SJW! I don't need a safe space!"

Blogger Student in Blue August 26, 2016 4:23 PM  

@19. Aeoli Pera
R they 2-D tho?

I've got some news about your waifu, Aeoli...

Blogger HonorLiving August 26, 2016 4:24 PM  

They sometimes talk about their enrichment, in spite of the fact that you haven't increased their allowance.

Blogger Mr. Bee August 26, 2016 4:51 PM  

Altright = the next counterculture. The article is basically an echo of the "those stupid new left kids!" humor pieces. If the Hildebeast becomes the Crook in Chief the altright, with some intelligent leadership and some monetary backing - the official "New Right".

Anonymous fop August 26, 2016 5:23 PM  

#13) He demands that the family chihuahua be deported.

Anonymous VFM #6306 August 26, 2016 5:36 PM  

1. He goes to mandatory bullying seminars to pick up tips.
2. He mows the lawn around the fence before ever picking up the dog poop...for the shitposts.
3. He takes the garbage out...on a date...and tells mom "It was either Miss Hefty or a feminist. I picked the one that weighs less."
4. He gets Internal Affairs to investigate the truant officer.
5. He recreates Auschwitz on Minecraft.
6. His screenname is TheCaucasianSensation. And he's black.
7. He fails English solely based on bad punctuation. (((Way too many parentheses.)))

Anonymous BigGayKoranBurner August 26, 2016 5:39 PM  

I also noticed someone has already determined BigGaySteve is a nazi :P

My bariatric fainting couch business will be booming when they get to the pic from MILO's twitter of Gays & Nazis hate feminists. Good thing I stocked up on Hugo Boss and brown shirts(for cammo)

Anonymous Frankenstein McBadperson August 26, 2016 5:59 PM  

"He fails English solely based on bad punctuation."

Anyone who reads English properly cannot have bad punctuation! Ben Jonson told me so!

Seriously, though, get your kid reading Oscar Wilde and GB Shaw before they turn thirteen and you'll never have a problem again. And Wallace Stevens, "Gawain and the Green Knight", Ashbery, Schuyler and Frank O'Hara, if they're particularly bright.

Well, Ashbery is asking a bit much.

"But no more fountains and no more rain,
And the stores stay open terribly late."
--O'Hara (nails it as usual)

Blogger Theproductofafineeduction August 26, 2016 6:05 PM  

When you say your going to take away their toys if they don't clean their room they respond with Molon Labe.

Anonymous Kapper August 26, 2016 6:11 PM  

Here's a suggestion for the next Castalia publication:

http://a.disquscdn.com/uploads/mediaembed/images/4158/4580/original.jpg

A must have for Hillary and any other Liberal or Cuckservative these days.

Anonymous Be Not Afraid August 26, 2016 6:40 PM  

-He starts an "SJWs Always Lie" study group.
-He wears a "Gay for Milo" T-shirt.
-He identifies as a Vile Faceless Minion

Anonymous An Igger August 26, 2016 6:41 PM  

# Expresses a desire to oven degenerate transhumanist weirdo (((Rachel Haywire))).

Blogger Chris Mallory August 26, 2016 7:08 PM  

My 11 year old daughter was in the truck with me the other day. We got behind a guy with a Trump sticker on his back window. She turned to me and said " Build the darn wall!"

Anonymous Post Alley Crackpot August 26, 2016 7:25 PM  

Alt-Right Kid privately thinks that Mom is the biggest teenager in the room and that Dad lacks ambition, but he will never say anything to either of them or to anyone else, because that would show disrespect.

Besides, at the age of 13, he's too young for mainstream society to regard him as credible enough to run his own Internet-based supply chain management company, so his Mom and Dad are his CEO and CFO out of necessity.

They quit their "day jobs" and work for him now.

Blogger TontoBubbaGoldstein August 26, 2016 7:33 PM  

paworldandtimes wrote:"Mother should I build the wall?

Mother should I run for President?

Mother should I trust the government?"

PA



Alt right now, baby, it's a-alt right now, yeah
Alt right now, baby, it's a-alt right now
Alt right now, baby, it's a-a-alt right now
Alt right n-now, baby baby baby it's alt right
Alt right now, it's alt right, it's alt right, it's alt right
Alt right now, baby, it's a-alt right now
Yeah, we're so happy together
It's alt right, it's alt right it's alt right
Everything's alt right

Anonymous Post Alley Crackpot August 26, 2016 7:37 PM  

@13:

14. They think that with the proper haircut and a little less make-up, Nancy Grace would make a fine cross-dressing Donald Trump impersonator.

Anonymous ODG August 26, 2016 7:39 PM  

Anyone else have a Who song in their head now?

"The kids are alt-right..."

Blogger residentMoron August 26, 2016 7:44 PM  

"... insisting, among other things, that birth on American soil confers superiority "

That pjmedia article jumped the shark, right there.

Epic cluelessness, the mark of the hildebeast.

Anonymous TS August 26, 2016 8:22 PM  

Another Libtard sell-out - Gary Johnson

http://www.thedailysheeple.com/how-very-libertarian-in-yet-another-reversal-presidential-candidate-gary-johnson-now-calling-for-mandatory-vaccinations_082016

Blogger residentMoron August 26, 2016 8:39 PM  

The final idiocy:

"The conservative movement, which stands as the sole means by which the left can be defeated, cannot survive to viably combat the left while infected with the cancer of the alt-right. These racist anti-conservatives must be opposed and defeated before anything meaningful can be done to address the left."

The conservative movement is already dead. The last sentence confirms it; you're not even trying to combat the left. You're not even addressing the left, no doubt respectfully, until you've murdered their only active and effective foes.

You treacherous piece of shit.

Anonymous Frankenstein McBadperson August 26, 2016 8:54 PM  

"at the age of 13, he's too young for mainstream society to regard him as credible enough to run his own Internet-based supply chain management company"

Hmm, sounds like somebody's read "JR" by my friend mister Gaddis.

Blogger Cecil Henry August 26, 2016 9:26 PM  

Here's another one:

YOur 13 year old son takes pictures of the subway in Toronto and asks: Where are all the White people???

Then he asks why Japan gets to be Japanese....

Just last week!


AT Christmas he asks why is it 'Winter Holidays' and never Christmas. Why is every religion celebrated BUT Christianity???

Anonymous Frankenstein McBadperson August 26, 2016 10:03 PM  

"At Christmas he asks why is it 'Winter Holidays' and never Christmas. Why is every religion celebrated BUT Christianity???"

Ahh, c'mon, (((you know why))). Biggest mistake we ever made, letting (((them))) settle here. Even stupider than enslaving negroes.

Oh show us the way
To the next whisky bar.
Oh you know why, oh you know why.
For if we don't find
The next whisky bar,
I tell you we must die,
I tell you, I tell you,
I tell you we must die.
O moon of Alabama,
We now must say goodbye.
For we have lost our good old mama,
And must have whisky, oh you know why.

Blogger Bard August 26, 2016 10:07 PM  

13. They tell their dad: "as long as I live under your roof, you'll lift."

That is hilarious. Much son's thought so too

Blogger Bard August 26, 2016 10:51 PM  

13. They tell their dad: "as long as I live under your roof, you'll lift."

That is hilarious. Much son's thought so too

Blogger Joe Katzman August 26, 2016 11:13 PM  

Looks like we have a Native Vox Popoli Top 10 List. Anyone else want to throw in?

Top 10 Signs Your Kids Are #AltRight:

10. He goes to mandatory bullying seminars to pick up trolling tips. [VFM #6306]
9. The only thing he builds with his Legos is "a big beautiful wall". [fop]
8. They think Ann Coulter is the most beautiful anorexic who has ever lived. [Ehyewin]
7. He gets Internal Affairs to investigate the truant officer. [VFM #6306]
6. You ask him if he wants juice and he says "Yeah, back in Israel where they belong." [fop]
5. He recreates Auschwitz on Minecraft. [VFM #6306]
4. His screenname is TheCaucasianSensation. And he's black. [VFM #6306]
3. When you say your going to take away their toys if they don't clean their room, they respond with "Molon Labe." [theproductofafineeducation]
2. He demands that the family chihuahua be deported. [fop]
1. They tell their dad: "as long as I live under your roof, you'll lift." [PA]

Given this particular blog audience, I was surprised that #5 didn't finish "...with a short Ben Shapiro figure inside."

Honorable mentions to Post Alley Crackpot and Waterboy.


It would be unfair to include my own entry, so I'll just throw this on the pile:

* Instead of a prom corsage, he just smirks and hands her a pack of Skittles.

Blogger LP9 Solidified in Gold! Rin Integra August 27, 2016 12:42 AM  

Great post, Honorable mentions to so many here I am too...well, I cannot recall them but ya all rock the keyboard when ladies like me dont have a voice or are not quite coherent for the keyboard. the men, please carry on in my stead!

61 8. Hey its about being trim and thin, smiles.

I sign I was alt right was being told my nationalist art is not welcomed at such and such outlets, so pals and I made our own art assoc, and we chill like 1993 311.

Foxnews is neoconned, those cucks and CNN with comcastnbc can all have each other, zero fricks given, meaning many withdraw their support and won't have those outlets in our or my home. Ever!

Blogger JWM August 27, 2016 1:01 AM  

You find him alone in his room laughing maniacally at "Loki's Child" on Kindle.
I know- a little OT. But I'm about halfway through, and I haven't a book make me laugh so much or so hard since forever. And we can all use a good belly laugh.

JWM

Anonymous Frankenstein McBadperson August 27, 2016 2:51 AM  

"Your 13 year old son takes pictures of the subway in Toronto and asks: Where are all the White people???"

So, there's a subway in Toronto. Where only 200 or so years ago there was only a bunch of Hurons squatting around a campfire, torturing their prisoners of war to death for amusement. As usual, white people create something cool and then everybody else wants in on it without doing anything. In 100 years from now, all our spiffy Moon bases will have turned into shitty housing projects filled with negroes and Bangladeshis, and the white people will have moved on to Alpha Centauri, with a bunch of Third Worlders hitch-hiking behind them. It never stops.

Blogger Cecil Henry August 27, 2016 9:25 AM  

#64:

Indeed. Diversity always means chasing DOWN the last White person.

Anonymous Wyrd August 27, 2016 11:50 AM  

As usual, white people create something cool and then everybody else wants in on it without doing anything.

Cultural appropriation.

Anonymous Mr. Rational August 27, 2016 2:43 PM  

Does anyone else see the stand-up material here that I see?

Between this stuff and some of the feminist, gay and other one-liners from Reddit, you could trigger half an SF convention into screaming tantrums and the other half into side-splitting hysterics.

Blogger Aeoli Pera August 28, 2016 8:03 AM  

Student in Blue wrote:@19. Aeoli Pera

R they 2-D tho?

I've got some news about your waifu, Aeoli...


My waifu is purely verbal.

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