Tuesday, October 17, 2017

We win again!


VD: Did we win?
Vineyard shop employee #1: Win what?
VD: Did we buy the most bottles today?
VSE #1: What?
VD: Did we buy the most bottles of anyone who took the tour today?
VSE #1: Um... actually, yes.
VD & SB: (high-five)
E: So, what do we win?
VSE #1: What?
E: Don't we get a prize?
VSE #2: Hold on. (goes and retrieves a bottle, puts it in a gift bag.) Here you go!
Everyone: Hurray! (poses for a picture with both employees.)

All right, so there may have been an amount of wine-tasting involved. A considerable amount, as it happens. Actually, the best part was the five-star lunch at the restaurant owned by the vineyard, where we were the only diners today. Jose, our waiter, put on a truly professional show, complete with a freaking easel and cardboard posters, as well as an unforgettable explanation of how all of the animals who went into the meal were lovingly raised on the premises before being slaughtered. It was more than a meal, it was an education.

Jose: And the core of this next dish is the little lamb from our farm here, whom I raised myself and permitted to sleep in my own bed every night, until this very morning, when I strangled him in the most loving and humane manner you can imagine. We should all be so fortunate as to perish in a manner as quick and painless as little Pepe. (sniffs, brushes away a tear) He is served in a sauce of butternuts and rancid red wine, with potatoes, leeks, and chunks of jamon.

SB: So how did you kill the cuttlefish in the last dish?

Jose: What?

E: Who cuddles fish?

To quote F, you know it's going to be a great meal when a) there is literally no one else in the restaurant, and b) there are three wine glasses per setting on the table. As it turned out, they ended up bringing a fourth glass per person, thereby raising the level from epic to legendary. Four people, three bottles. And that was before the wine-tasting started.

Needless to say, they got straight 5s on the customer satisfaction ratings. Except for F's, who simply scrawled BEST TOUR EVER across his form.

Say what you will about Spacebunny and me, but we always win the wine tour. And if you're a Foundation-level Voxiversity backer, you can rest assured, your European experience is going to be epic. We've spent 20 years researching this sort of thing.



Blogger S1AL October 17, 2017 12:15 PM  

Suddenly, all of the insane things posted by Stephen Green on Instapundit make sense. If you're just constantly in your cups...

Blogger Gordon October 17, 2017 12:18 PM  

This is why I didn't subscribe at the Foundation level. I get migraines nowadays when I drink alcohol.

Anonymous Stop the Press October 17, 2017 12:20 PM  


I say this for your own good: stop drinking so much wine. It is what has chubbed you up into a little pudgy dude.

Also, I think it might interfere with your thinking.

- concerned reader

Anonymous deplorable October 17, 2017 12:24 PM  

Ruh Roh! Vox is starting to release his inner liberal.

Blogger VD October 17, 2017 12:25 PM  

I say this for your own good: stop drinking so much wine. It is what has chubbed you up into a little pudgy dude.

Your narrative is entirely false. I'm borderline ripped these days and can play an entire 45 minutes on the wing.

Pretty much all the Alt-Retards claiming that I'm "chubby" are at least 10 pounds more overweight than I am.

Blogger Gordon October 17, 2017 12:32 PM  

Is this the right time to mention the story about someone telling President Lincoln that General Grant was a souse? Lincoln asked what was Grant's preferred drink, as the president wanted to send the general a case of it.

Anonymous VFM #6306 October 17, 2017 12:50 PM  

I certainly hope that the cardboard poster was recyclable.

Or at least made from pulped cuttlefish bones.

Otherwise, they'll never get the EU Ecolabel.

Blogger Azimus October 17, 2017 12:58 PM  

Reminds me of one time I went to a basketball game of alma mater while they were playing on another campus. Due to a mild snowstorm we arrived after the game started. I walked up to the counter and said "We're here for the free visitor's tickets." The ticket girl looked at what must've been her supervisor, got a nod, and handed us two free tickets.

Never hurts to ask!

Blogger Arthur Isaac October 17, 2017 1:01 PM  

Invest in me and I'll split an MRE with you in a Quonset hut on the Yukon River. 4 bottles of iodine "purified" water in Solo cups. Somebody has to prepare for the 'pocalypse.

Blogger JaimeInTexas October 17, 2017 1:09 PM  

That must'vn been quite a hit in the wallet ... well worth it I am sure by the sounds of it.
I am curious as to how the food was prepared and the wines pairings?

Anonymous franklinjennings October 17, 2017 1:10 PM  

Best meal I ever had was fried sardines in onion sauce, served cold.

Venetzia, little restaurant that refused service to anyone who couldn't speak Venneto. Fortunately my hosts could. Those sardines were dipped from the lagoon that morning. 3 wine glasses, plus a snifter of Scotch with the best tiramisu I have ever tasted.

I LOVED the tiramisu, but I still dream about those sardines a decade later.

Blogger Arthur Isaac October 17, 2017 1:17 PM  

Best meal I ever had was fried sardines in onion sauce, served cold.

Fresh caught brook trout in butter, asparagus and morel mushrooms. Picked and caught the same day. May in Michigan.

Anonymous Anonymous October 17, 2017 1:20 PM  

Does this restaurant have a name? Website? etc.

Some of us live in Europe, too.

Blogger Bobo #117 October 17, 2017 2:33 PM  

A man after my own heart...

Blogger Noah B The Savage Gardener October 17, 2017 2:46 PM  

When I was there a couple of years ago I took a tour of a working truffle farm in the mountains near Deruta that turned out to be amazing. We didn't drink anywhere near that much wine but we did stuff ourselves with some unforgettably delicious food.

@11 That does sound nice, I love sardines but I've never had fresh ones. My most memorable meal was grilled lobster and grouper with conch ceviche, prepared immediately after being caught on the boat. Hunger is the secret ingredient in the best meals, and spending several hours in the water (even water you think is warm at first) trying to find your lunch will work up a real appetite.

Anonymous franklinjennings October 17, 2017 2:47 PM  

Its good, and we do the same in North Georgia, but with fiddleheads.

Still doesn't compare to those Venetian sardines, bro.

Anonymous WaterBoy October 17, 2017 3:36 PM  

It was quite the gourmet meal I enjoyed last Saturday afternoon. The combination of purest organic butter created from the choicest Arachis hypogaea, paired with a marvelous preserve of homegrown, handpicked Latham Red berries and melded together between two delicate slices of artisanal French bread, provided the most perfect balance between sweet and umami that approaches what only five-star restaurants can ordinarily provide. And when accompanied by the finest vintage of Chateau des Vache Laitière, it was hands down the best meal I've had in the last 96 hours.

Blogger Student in Blue October 17, 2017 3:36 PM  

Tsk tsk, Vox goes on a bender with his newfound comic book money. For shame!


Anonymous Napoleon 12pdr October 17, 2017 3:50 PM  

OK, when is Spacebunny coming out with her book on the All-Wine Diet? :-)

Blogger Student in Blue October 17, 2017 4:04 PM  

Anklebiters always suck the fun out of good-natured ribbing.

Anonymous Forrest Bishop October 17, 2017 4:39 PM  

A couple days ago, long after Chuck Dixon signed on, Alt Hero had soared past the $100 K stretch goal and an unemployed SJW-ish artist showed up to accuse Vox of intending to pocket all the dough. I composed a reply in my head that went something like this:

I hope Vox does take some of the money, since he’s the creator among other things, but that’s really none of my business or yours. In fact, it would be cool to be able to earmark some part of a pledge just so Vox could take the family out for an awesome, memorable dinner somewhere right now. They deserve to pause, give thanks, and to celebrate. They have earned it.

I didn’t write it up and post it, though. It became a private wish to myself, a prayer if you will. But I didn’t expect the after-dinner report.

Blogger Nate October 17, 2017 4:45 PM  

"Say what you will about Spacebunny and me, but we always win the wine tour. "

DrWho and I would very much like to take that bet.

Blogger cheddarman October 17, 2017 5:04 PM  

Nate -vs- Vox... can the hard Right survive?

Anonymous Bukulu October 17, 2017 5:04 PM  

Gordon @ 6,

You don't have the story quite right. Lincoln asked what Grant's favorite whiskey was so he could send a barrel of it to each of the other generals.

Blogger Nate October 17, 2017 5:38 PM  

"Nate -vs- Vox... can the hard Right survive?"

absolutely... the prospects for the wineries of course would be considerably more grim

Anonymous VFM #6306 October 17, 2017 6:28 PM  


Anonymous Eduardo October 17, 2017 6:35 PM  

"Lovingly raised on the premises before being slaughtered"

The second part sort of killed the warm fuzzy feeling lol.

But that is a pretty nice restaurant, with a farm attached to it, nice way to control costs and quality. Must have been really good.

Btw... Vox chubby? Dude... *looks in the mirror* you don't know what chubby is.

Blogger Meng Greenleaf October 17, 2017 8:24 PM  

Hey, I am now supporting rebel, as well as omnibuses hardcovers 1 2 and 3. Under a different pseudonym :) I can't wait to see how the series turns out and wish everyone the greatest success.

Blogger Mountain Man October 17, 2017 10:00 PM  

Nothing beats a meal made with wild game you shot yourself..followed by a couple of Gin and Tonics or Scotch on the rocks ( Glen Fiddich is the best)

Blogger Mountain Man October 17, 2017 10:11 PM  

Sounds like my kind of meal/adventure. Just got back from a week long canoe trip with a buddy in the far reaches of the northern Maine. Although, we supplemented the purified water with lots of scotch.

Anonymous heidi October 17, 2017 10:27 PM  

Dear VD,

Keep winning.

Concerned Reader

Anonymous FP October 17, 2017 11:38 PM  

A red man who likes his vino? Who would've thunk it.

Blogger Forge the Sky October 18, 2017 2:05 AM  

"Fresh caught brook trout in butter, asparagus and morel mushrooms. Picked and caught the same day. May in Michigan."

Ramps fried with acorn finished pork belly, served with grass-fed filet and morel butter.

This place is still young, but I think we're just starting. We will join France and Italy in time. Heck, we even have decent (white) wine, though our beer is better.

Blogger Doc Rampage October 18, 2017 2:38 AM  

Sounds like VSE#1 has had a humorectomy. I hope your japing didn't strain him.

Anonymous Post Alley Crackpot October 18, 2017 2:49 AM  

"... and rancid red wine ..."

Wasn't it supposed to be the flesh of goats in the best of hôtes, which the natives spoil by cooking it in rancid oil?

That's how Hilaire Belloc would have done it. :-)

Blogger Revelation Means Hope October 18, 2017 3:48 AM  

Should have tried that when we took the tour of the Kona coffee farm. Maybe next time.

Not asking for you to expose the nick name behind "F", but now i'm curious.

Also curious if SB ever does twitter after drinking on a wine tour. If so, she is much more coherent than the liberal fools that she engages in battle.

Blogger Nate October 18, 2017 11:07 AM  

"followed by a couple of Gin and Tonics or Scotch on the rocks ( Glen Fiddich is the best) "

with your tiffany blue glock 19.

Anonymous WaterBoy October 18, 2017 2:16 PM  

OK, this is just weird.

So a couple of weeks ago, my wife's client invites us to join her and some friends at the monthly Carabba's Wine Dinner, and we accepted.

It was last night.

At the end of the event, they have drawings for door prizes...and my wife's name was the first one drawn, for two bottles of wine.


Blogger MendoScot October 18, 2017 6:10 PM  

Nate wrote:"followed by a couple of Gin and Tonics or Scotch on the rocks ( Glen Fiddich is the best) "

with your tiffany blue glock 19.

For once we are agreed.

Glenfiddich is entry level.

Still better than bourbon.

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