Saturday, December 16, 2017

It should be the last Jedi

Cataline reviews THE LAST JEDI:
This one sucked, don't see it.

I could end my review there but I suppose you want a little bit more than that.

I intend to deliver many, many spoilers in this review because the producers of this heap of shit have gone to some lengths to destroy a favorite of my childhood.  I can't believe I'm fucking saying this but, "George Lucas, all is forgiven!  Come back to us, I beg you!"

This was a cavalcade of boring, cliched awfulness in every way available to it.  I'm not saying that because I'm a contrarian Alt Right asshole.  I'm saying that because every word of that is true.

A couple of days ago a commenter Shitlord Numéro Uno said...

Wait, so you think the force awakens is a good movie? Holy dear God.

Compared to this, it absolutely is.  This is the first of the fully SJW Converged Star Wars movies.  Force Awakens just tried to score some Diversity Points here and there. But Last Jedi positively panders to the SJWs.  From the Body Positive Asian Chick.  The lectures on social inequality on Rich People Planet.  To Benicio del Toro's monologue that was heavy on nihilist equivocation   This movie turned around, bent over for the SJWs and announced that Star Wars was open for business.  Upside this surrender to all things SJW, guaranteed that critics would prostitute themselves and give it positive reviews.  And they did but we'll get to that at the end of this article.

The Last Jedi will make money but I would be shocked if it doesn't kill the franchise in the end.  The fanbois are over-committed to Star Wars and will try  to convince themselves at it doesn't suck. Now the SJW fanbois will have to pretend that it was really important that Star Wars hands out boring ass lectures for the price of admission but for the rest, the backlash over Last Jedi will make the one over Force Awakens look like a case of very mild buyers remorse.

The writing is incredibly weak.  The tone is inconsistent.  It's boring as hell for the most part and all of the mysteries set up in the last movie got swept under the carpet.

Lets take a look at it, shall we?
I can't say that I'm even remotely surprised. Disney ruins everything; was there really any doubt that they could manage to ruin Star Wars in an even more thoroughly professional sense than George Lucas's amateurism ever permitted?

Critics: 93%, Audience: 57%.

Yeah, you know what that means.

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Blogger Ingot9455 December 16, 2017 1:11 PM  

My husband spent Friday watching the Rotten Tomatoes score fall. It started at 62% and some odd.. an hour later 61, and hour later 60.. and so on.

Blogger Michael Maier December 16, 2017 1:11 PM  

I saw it because I got in free.

I was ripped off.

Blogger Were-Puppy December 16, 2017 1:13 PM  

Honestly, the last one I saw was Phantom Menace. I can't imagine how bad they've gotten since then.

Blogger Silly but True December 16, 2017 1:15 PM  

The body positive Asian chick is completely pointless. The entire Canto Bight segment can be cut and the plot would be no different and then the movie wouldn't feel like a longer version of the end of Return of the King.

She is the Sequel Trilogy's own Jar Jar Chinks.

Blogger Michael Maier December 16, 2017 1:16 PM  

I liked EPI 2 when it came out but by the time 3 came out, I was disillusioned. 3 was awful.

But it is high art compared to DISNEY WARS.

Blogger Purge187 December 16, 2017 1:18 PM  

Vox's next book should be called "SJWs Ruin Everything."

Blogger Cecil Henry December 16, 2017 1:20 PM  

May 'the Last Jedi' be the last Star Wars Movie.

Diversity™ ruins everything.

These movies are propaganda. That is, poison for the mind.

Anonymous Brick Hardslab December 16, 2017 1:25 PM  

If the fans hate a 'fan' movie this badly, yes a fifty something indicates hate from the star wars bunch, then it must stink hard.

That means it must hate the fans right back.

Anonymous Iron Spartan December 16, 2017 1:27 PM  

The critics don't dare speak against Darth Mouse if they want a career. They have turned into whores of the first order, so to speak.

Every one of the positive fan reviews reads exactly the same: Yea Diversity! The past is dead! Sure the burnt everything down, but its a good thing!

Anonymous Gen. Kong December 16, 2017 1:29 PM  

BTW, speaking of the Disney's great pizza factory, look out for some "copyright reform" next year from Cuck Ryan and his Brokeback Brigadiers in the House or Hos. The copyright clock starts ticking on Jan. 1, 2019 if they don't "reform" it to Disney's satisfaction. On that date, works first published in 1923 enter the USSA public domain, those from 1924 in 2020, and so on. Steamboat Willie was first published in 1928, but the Satanists at Disney like to get things locked down early, well before expiry of copyright on December 31, 2023 at 11:59:59 P.M.

Anonymous Gen. Kong December 16, 2017 1:32 PM  

Were-Puppy wrote:
Honestly, the last one I saw was Phantom Menace. I can't imagine how bad they've gotten since then.

So bad that one almost misses the mere stupidity of Jar-Jar.

Blogger Al From Bay Shore December 16, 2017 1:33 PM  

I stopped at Revenge of the Sith. The reason why I did the prequels was I continued to hold hope that those films would get better. As with the Last Jedi, Sith received lavish praise. I think Kevin Smith was recruited to foist phony praise on that film (I believe he said it was the best of ALL the Star Wars films). When the praise for Jedi started pouring in, I immediately thought of that cringe-worthy moment at the end of Sith where where Darth Vader..... I cannot find the right way to explain it but you know which part I am talking about.

Anonymous Chris December 16, 2017 1:35 PM  

In the extended universe, Luke marries a 9/10 redhead, has kids, restarts and reforms the Jedi Order successfully, fights alongside his friends in cool battles, and becomes the most powerful Jedi Grandmaster who ever lived.

In the Last Jedi, Luke thinks about murdering his young nephew, fails to build anything, abandons his friends, doesnt marry and dies a virgin in bitter isolation.

Fuck Disney Wars and everything about it.

Anonymous Chris December 16, 2017 1:37 PM  

What does all this mean? Simple: Star Wars hates its primary audience, White boys and young men. So Luke had to be turned into a useless character. And the SJWs know this, just read their twitter accounts. They know EXACTLY what the undertones of these films are about.

Anonymous Anonymous December 16, 2017 1:43 PM  

Just saw it because I was part of a group.

The humourous fact is, when looked at from an objective perspective, you want to root for the (white) First Order. They are organized, disciplined, fit, and civilized. The Rebels, by contrast, are a rag-tag bunch of disorganized whiny buffoons with whiny leadership that can barely win a single battle.

Thus, the movie teaches you a valuable lesson: if diversity and SJWism makes you like the Rebels, then SCREW DIVERSITY!

Blogger tublecane December 16, 2017 1:43 PM  

"all of the mysteries set up in the last movie got swept under the carpet"

That's not a bad thing in itself, because I didn't care about any of the mysteries raised by Force Awakens, except I guess what was the deal with Luke and his nephew, and did Luke turn evil possibly? That's it.

Otherwise, I wondered: why are they keeping so much from us? This is Star Wars, not the Usual Suspects.

Blogger ghostfromplanetspook December 16, 2017 1:47 PM  

People say George Lucas raped their childhood but Disney raped Luke Skywalker to death and made us watch.

Anonymous Avalanche December 16, 2017 1:48 PM  

@6 "Vox's next book should be called "SJWs Ruin Everything.""

Eh, I'd rather see "Women Ruin Everything" as a cautionary tale. Maybe followed by "Feminist Males Ruin Everything"? (As an attempt the reach them and un-gamma them?)

Blogger tublecane December 16, 2017 1:49 PM  

@12-But Revenge of the Sith was Darker and Edgier than the other ones, and therefore better because more Truthful.* That was the thinking.

Which doesn't explain why our first glimpse of Darth Vader saw him acting like a character from a 1930s monster movie.

*Reality is Dark if you believe in nothing, like our ruling class.

Anonymous DavidPuma December 16, 2017 1:53 PM  

Great comment at Jordan Peterson subreddit:

Only negative is that there seems to be a bit of a sneaky jab at orthodox religion in the movies, otherwise it has many conservative themes. Sounds great.

Anonymous Nathan December 16, 2017 1:53 PM  

"The entire Canto Bight segment can be cut and the plot would be no different."

But how else would SJW con-crowd alt-lifestyle science fiction writers get their Star Wars tie-in novel paydays?

Blogger Ostar December 16, 2017 1:56 PM  

After reading Rian Johnson’s script for The Last Jedi, Hamill said, “I at one point had to say to Rian, ‘I pretty much fundamentally disagree with every choice you’ve made for this character. Now, having said that, I have gotten it off my chest, and my job now is to take what you’ve created and do my best to realize your vision.'”

A writer with any ounce of skill or integrity should have taken that comment as warning siren and re-examined their work.

Anonymous FP December 16, 2017 1:59 PM  


Exactly. In the EU books, they were winners as they dealt with new challenges. In the new trilogy, they're all losers. They've killed off our childhood heroes. Like TFA, TLJ is boring, bland and blase. Paint by numbers sjw activism. I doubt I'll even rent it after having read spoilers on the net a few days ago. There is a gif out there someone made from a cam rip showing Leia jedi flying through space like superman.

Anonymous GunShowTrash December 16, 2017 2:01 PM  

I saw the original Star Wars, during its original run, in high school. Took this girl to it. The films worked out; she didn't.

1st Corinthians 13:11.

Anonymous Looking Glass December 16, 2017 2:02 PM  

From the reports of the movie, there's a fascinating lesson in "Anti-Strategy" from this one.

Anonymous GunShowTrash December 16, 2017 2:03 PM  

Eh... "The film worked out..." not "films."

Anonymous Looking Glass December 16, 2017 2:05 PM  

@19 tublecane

"Revenge of the Sith" was significantly more watchable. Episode 1's editing was the main problem. Episode 2 is practically unwatchable and they destroyed Yoda at the end. Episode 3 is the best of the Prequel, but that isn't saying a lot.

Blogger Jed Mask December 16, 2017 2:05 PM  

... Yo so who do you think could make a great "Star Wars" film... If you could pick ANYBODY to do it?

Could you, Mr. Vox? I'm trying to imagine this. Hehe...

Blogger James Dixon December 16, 2017 2:07 PM  

> May 'the Last Jedi' be the last Star Wars Movie.

I wish, but no such luck. Not with Disney.

> Steamboat Willie was first published in 1928,

And was never properly copyrighted.

Blogger Good Will December 16, 2017 2:11 PM  

I thoroughly enjoyed this installment of the Star Wars series (after having given up all interest). I think it's one of the best!

Yes, it is utterly Social Justice Warrior converged and the latter minutes stroll into implausibility.

But it has some surprises! And one scene that was particularly artful. The human connections are among the strongest in any Star Wars movie.

Blogger Chris Lutz December 16, 2017 2:14 PM  

You know it's bad when fans are saying the prequels might not be so bad.

Blogger tublecane December 16, 2017 2:18 PM  

@23-I might have thought it was a matter of format: in Star Wars movies the Good Guys have to be the underdogs and the Bad Guys have to be in power. Because that's how it was in the original and they're afraid of confusing the audience. Or repeating the mistakes of the prequel series, which at least in Phantom Menace departed from the format. (Though that wasn't why it sucked.)

That would explain why the breakaway Nazis led by some pasty white ginger, a Lord of the Rings troll, and Darth Emo is suddenly the Empire, while the group of rebels who toppled the Empire are rebels again. But there's something else, much remarked upon in our circles. Leftists can't think of themselves as being in power, ever. They're always struggling against the Man, even when the Establishment has been full of leftists for generations. Which is partially justified, because they're always outflanking themselves to the left and purging the Old Guard. But in the sense of acting as if some secret cabal of rightists really runs everything, instead of previous iterations of progressives, no. That's just silly. Take *some* responsibility.

I have no notion of George Lucas' personal politics. He may or may not have been a New Leftist, and probably was given the circles he ran in. I know Ewoks were supposed to be the Vietcong, and the Empire resembled Imperial Japan may have been representative of Tricky Dick's Reich to the type of people Lucas was likely to hang around, if not Lucas himself.

That's the mindset I sense around Star Wars: progressive hippy rebels fighting the Man. Though of course that movie gave aid and comfort to old-fashioned people, too. Maybe moreso than progressives.

In any case, when the indigenous peoples of one of the moons of Endor and the Diversity Navy of the rebellion (including Lobster People) prevail over the ugly, old white people in Return of the Jedi, can the rebels then be in power? Is that allowed? No, because then they'd be in power, and who would be around to blame in case of failure? Wreckers? Hidden counter-revolutionaries? Kulaks?

Anonymous WaterBoy December 16, 2017 2:18 PM  

Cataline's review is spot-on, though he also omitted one of the most annoying factors...namely this film's version of the Ewoks: the Porgs. I can't think of a more blatant kid-oriented-story-element-that-has-no-purpose-beyond-selling-merchandise. Including Ewoks -- at least they fought.

Good luck with your Christmas shopping, parents.

Blogger Chris Lutz December 16, 2017 2:22 PM  

Surprises without plot and good storytelling are thin gruel.

Blogger Good Will December 16, 2017 2:26 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Anonymous WaterBoy December 16, 2017 2:27 PM  

Oh, another annoying thing: the whiny, angsty acting of Adam Driver as Kylo Ren (or the writing that put him there). It was barely a cut above the whiny angst of Hayden Christiansen as Teen Anakin Skywalker. Hard to believe either character as a badass Dark-Lord-in-the-making.

Blogger tweell December 16, 2017 2:33 PM  

"When I read 8, I told Rian, 'I fundamentally disagree with virtually everything you've decided about my character'," Hamill said.

Pretty much says it all there, doesn't it?

Blogger tublecane December 16, 2017 2:43 PM  

@22-Hamill is just an actor, and not a star. People higher up the food chain don't like to listen to them, though as regards Luke Skywalker, at least, Hamill is probably an authority.

Alfred Hitchcock is known to have said "motivation is your salary" to Paul Newman upon Newman inquiring as to his character's motivation in the movie Torn Curtain. But Hitchcock probably knew what he was doing. There's no indication the people running Star Wars do, except that they keep making money.

Blogger Jake December 16, 2017 2:46 PM  

Adam driver did a good job. That's the modern face of evil.

I thought the biggest plot twist is how they were going to make the pink haired admiral right after repeatedly pushing Poe's plan in our face. I knew they were going to, but i was shocked to how far they went. Subverting a trope is all fine and good, but ffs she was noone and he's supposed to be a bad ass.

Super Leia was ridiculous.

For faraway wars i'd like to see force lore more explored. Kotor Sith lore was amazing, for instance.

This movie takes the last interesting bit of star wars and fucking burns it up. Vexing.

Blogger manfred arcane December 16, 2017 2:59 PM  

Jake wrote:For faraway wars i'd like to see force lore more explored. Kotor Sith lore was amazing, for instance.

KOTOR 2's exploration of Force's metaphysics was glorious. I liked where they went with sort of overtly Augustinian/Neo-Platonic Evil as privation thing. "Emptiness, wound on the face of the Universe." Tho, I recall some SW nerds being triggered by it. If I'm not mistaken, that KOTOR MMO ended up conveniently ignoring most of KOTOR 2?

Blogger Ransom Smith December 16, 2017 3:00 PM  

Those Rotten Tomatoes number as damning.
Even Batman v Superman had better viewer numbers.
This one might make money but they also have the Han Solo solo film coming next year.
I'm willing to bet money it fails.
No joke, I will bet this.

Anonymous The Original Arrogant Steelers Fan December 16, 2017 3:00 PM  

Well. You know when frikin' Mark Hamill more or less even says not to see it... for the lolz

Blogger tublecane December 16, 2017 3:02 PM  

@39-"That's the modern face of evil"

Okay, but is it in the right role? He should not only be evil, but interesting to watch as the badass enforcer with scary mask and cape, who can choke you with mind magic.

Anonymous Chris December 16, 2017 3:04 PM  

The KOTOR2 plot development that Revan might never really have fallen to the Dark Side was outstanding and shows that Star Wars doesn't have to be static and rehashed storylines. That whole game was a masterpiece of storytelling and would have made a great movie.

Blogger Ingot9455 December 16, 2017 3:08 PM  

John C. Wright already wrote a Force Awakens precis that would have been a hundred times better than the real one. Probably best he not exert himself for this one.

Anonymous BBGKB December 16, 2017 3:09 PM  

"George Lucas, all is forgiven! Come back to us, I beg you!"

Things people regret saying

They are about to freeze Po in carbonite. Finn finally works up the courage to express his true feelings for Po and says, "I love you.

For how gay media played it up I would have expected Finn's gaynig love kiss frees Po from carbonite.

Anonymous Stickwick December 16, 2017 3:10 PM  

My whole world was transformed when, in 1977, I saw Star Wars in the theater with my dad. It kicked off a lifelong obsession with the Star Wars universe and with science fiction in general, and was the reason I eventually went on to become a space scientist. Dad and I saw Star Wars three more times that summer. We saw the sequels as many times when they came out.

One of my prized possessions as a kid was a Star Wars cookbook. My favorite recipes were for “Han Burgers” and “Boba Fettuccine.” I still have the book.

I spent hours playing Star Wars video games on my NES.

When George Lucas released the special editions of the trilogy in theaters in the 90s, I paid an exorbitant amount of money at an auction to buy a collector’s edition of the original VHS copies of the unaltered movies. I bought copies of the special editions, too.

As an undergrad in the late 90s, I created an annual all-night Star Wars movie marathon that became a popular campus event. Every spring, the student union ballroom was filled with students with sleeping bags and pillows, settled in for a night of pizza and Star Wars on the big screen.

In my time between classes, I created and maintained a website devoted to an obscure character named TK-421. It garnered a small amount of fame in the Star Wars fan community, and was even listed on Wookiepedia.

One of my longtime online handles from those days was Boushh. (I bet you can’t tell me which character that is without looking it up.) The unused corners of my overheated academic brain were filled with Star Wars trivia, like the names of Vader’s bounty hunters in Empire (Boba Fett, IG-88, 4-LOM, Zuckuss, and Bossk).

In 1999, I drove 60 miles and stood in line for 24 hours to get the best seats in the house for The Phantom Menace.

For months, I scoured eBay for collectible prints of every one of Ralph McQuarrie’s Star Wars concept paintings. I love them more than I can possibly describe.

Every one of my Linux machines, from my freshman year through all my years as a scientist at UT, was named after a Star Wars world — Tatooine, Hoth, Alderaan. When I retired from my academic position this summer, I shed a tear as my beloved Bespin was carried away to surplus.

Every academic office I’ve ever occupied has been adorned by my favorite Empire Strikes Back and Yoda posters. My offices were littered with Star Wars mugs, Yoda dolls, and stormtrooper figurines.

I even mentioned George Lucas in the acknowledgements of my dissertation.

I saw every one of the prequels, even though they were terrible.

I saw The Force Awakens, and though I was concerned about the emphasis on diversity, I thought it was acceptable. However, I noted with some sadness that it was the first Star Wars movie I had no desire to watch again. I saw Rogue One and thought it was a gray, depressing entry into the universe, even if it cleverly resolved a long standing story weakness in the original trilogy.

The Last Jedi is the first Star Wars movie I will probably never see.

Disney killed Star Wars. It’s dead. I have no desire to be part of its new universe.

Blogger Ransom Smith December 16, 2017 3:12 PM  

That whole game was a masterpiece of storytelling and would have made a great movie.
Oddly enough the game was originally supposed to be bigger but LucasArts rushed the development.
And then years later Obsidian went on to make Fallout New Vegas, another semi rush job.

Blogger Wuzzums Fuzzums December 16, 2017 3:16 PM  

I thought Rey and Kylo Ren would have joined forces. She would lead the rebels, he would lead the order. Both profit significantly and keep balance between the two with neither gaining one inch on the other and keeping collateral damage to a minimum.

There was some foreshadowing to this when the smuggler guy explained to Finn how people got rich by selling to both the rebels and the order. Also compared to everywhere else that rich folk planet looked like paradise. For a moment I genuinely thought they might have had a genuine message there... but nope.

It's just basic game theory. They established that no matter how powerful a Sith becomes his light-side counterpart would grow equally as strong. In such a scenario the only way of having a 100% chance of winning is by joining forces.

I'm beginning to suspect they dangle the solution to the conflict in my face and then choose a polar opposite path just so they can annoy me.

Anonymous Ain December 16, 2017 3:20 PM  

"These movies are propaganda. That is, poison for the mind."

That's all this has been. It's apparent that SW was acquired solely to be the delivery system for a payload of brain death for the masses.

Anonymous WaterBoy December 16, 2017 3:23 PM  

Chris @44: "Star Wars doesn't have to be static and rehashed storylines. "

Would loved to have seen the bad guys develop a virus/radiation weapon that kills off midichlorians but leaves their hosts intact, thereby rendering Jedi (and Sith) impotent. Like Kryptonite to Superman. Getting their powers back by finding the original source would provide the main plot driver.

Hey, if they ruined Force lore by introducing the concept in the first place, they might as well make use of it. This "take out yet another planet destroyer" has been done to death.

Blogger Gloriam Deo December 16, 2017 3:24 PM  

Ransom Smith wrote:Those Rotten Tomatoes number as damning.

Even Batman v Superman had better viewer numbers.

This one might make money but they also have the Han Solo solo film coming next year.

I'm willing to bet money it fails.

No joke, I will bet this.

I'll take that action. Discord me DinduGoy#8997. I'm a poor college student, so any profit won't be great, but I am willing to bet money inertia will carry it farther than you think.

Blogger Wolfman at Large December 16, 2017 3:25 PM  

Soy villains.

Anonymous Sunderr December 16, 2017 3:26 PM  

It's funny how I still find people saying "critics know what they're doing"

This movie was a cringe fest, especially everything involving Leia.

Anonymous Gen. Kong December 16, 2017 3:29 PM  

> Steamboat Willie was first published in 1928,

And was never properly copyrighted.

And as we found out last year with the massive, decades-long fraud over Happy Birthday, one would have to spend something like seven figures in legal fees to prove it - assuming you could even get it before a blackrobe who knew how to read. Steamboat Willie would not likely be worth it unless it had the net effect of stopping another term extension in its tracks.

Anonymous WaterBoy December 16, 2017 3:33 PM  

Stickwick @47: "My whole world was transformed when, in 1977, I saw Star Wars in the theater with my dad."

I too saw it in the theater on its initial release, with a friend from high school.

When the lights came up at the end, the music swelled and the credits rolled, the place erupted in cheers and applause. I've never seen anything like it. We left the theater through a side exit, then immediately joined the line forming out front for the next showing and watched it again.

When the lights came up and the music swelled and the credits rolled at the end of Last Jedi, there was not a single clap or cheer. Everybody stood up, gathered their belongings, and walked quietly out of the theater, even the diehard fans in cosplay.

That's when I knew for sure it had failed.

Blogger Aeoli Pera December 16, 2017 3:35 PM  

Phantom Menace had a couple of good bits. The lightsaber fight is still one of my favorite fight scenes. The music was fantastic too.

Blogger StinkEye December 16, 2017 3:42 PM  

I like the part when the giant T-Rex said, "Live long and prosper" and then turned into a Camero.

Blogger kurt9 December 16, 2017 3:47 PM  

I've not seen any of the recent "Star Wars" movies. It sounds like I'm not missing anything.

Anonymous One Deplorable DT December 16, 2017 4:08 PM  

Thursday I was on 4chan/tv/ reading stuff about TLJ that I could not believe. There would be a thread about X, and then a ton of replies saying "X didn't happen in the movie. Nobody could be that stupid." And I would nod my head thinking "silly're not going to get me with such weak bait."

Then the video leaks started. The awful, awful leaks. And the threads were filled with "OMG it's actually real! They actually put that in the movie!"

I've seen maybe 15 minutes of leaked footage from this movie and I can say with certainty I will never see more. Not at the theater. Not on pay per view. Not even when it's free. There are movies which are awful due to lack of story, poor acting, and cringeworthy scenes. And there are movies which are offensive in their message to the viewer. This movie is both.

The worst part for me is how they utterly destroyed the character of Luke Skywalker, along with the mythology of the Force and everything the Jedi stood for. Cataline says that Luke is not in this movie, and in a sense that's true. The Luke in TLJ is nothing at all like the Luke in any of the OT movies, especially the grown man at the end of ROTJ.

But saying that the Luke we know is not in this film lets the SJWs off too easy. Luke is in the movie, and his character is exactly what they wanted. To take an 'evil cis white male' hero and turn him into a grotesque joke. A filthy, cowardly, hopeless, homeless old man who would be better off dead. The character himself knows this, and literally wishes for it. Wishes to die and take the last remnants of the old ways with him.

Make no mistake, what they've done with Luke's character, the Force, and the Jedi is intended to send a clear message: get out of the way cis white boys, and take your morality and ideas about western civilization with you. This is the age of diversity, of the feminine, of no morality save the command to seize wealth and power not earned. And judging from the plot holes...which are so large they call the rest of the universe into question, including any need to ever build a Death's also the age of stupidity and mindless feels.

I keep telling myself 'it's just a movie.' 'It's not worth getting upset over.' 'The OT is still there, you don't have to care about this.' But I'm actually angry over this. This was built to offend. And I hate the people who built it.

Anonymous Clipper December 16, 2017 4:15 PM  

'Why do you think I came to the most unfindable place in the galaxy?'

- Luke Skywalker

Oh baby that dialogue ...

Anonymous John VI December 16, 2017 4:16 PM  

Just do a little dance with the knowledge that Disney is spending BILLIONS for the right to drive these stories into the ground. They just spent 53 billion to complete their collection of marvel characters under one roof. Since all the current actors have pretty much completed their multi movie contract deals, now they can tell totally awesome stories about the future children of heroes.

Oddly enough, all of whom seemed to have only daughters. Totally convenient since they seem desperate to court that enormous, yet elusive, market of girl hero comic syfy fan that every fucking boy franchise on the planet has been chasing for the last 2 decades.

This time will be different.

Blogger Jeffrey Johnson December 16, 2017 4:32 PM  

The thing that got me in Episode VII that made me dislike the new films was how they made Han Solo and Princess Leia into just another divorced couple. Han and Leia were just another failed marriage and Han was just another loser White male.

When I heard that Disney bought Star Wars and that they were going to make new Star Wars movies I assumed that they were going to do some of the better stories from the extended universe. In those stories Luke is a hero, Han and Leia are happily married and have a family. They still have serious problems and struggles but they are getting through life.

Seeing how they made Han a loser in Episode VII showed me that (((Disney))) planned to shit on the characters and rub our noses in it. That's why I won't spend a penny on another Star Wars film.

Anonymous Cadwallander J December 16, 2017 4:35 PM  

This is why no one should quake in fear at the SJW infected mega-corporations. Even without the SJWs, these organizations suffer from creeping bureaucratic sclerosis. They get mired in process and policy and become incapable of moving efficiently and quickly, thereby rendering them susceptible to their smaller, more nimble competitors.

The SJWs put this process into overdrive, steering the company so far from its initial purpose and strengths that it collapses before anyone realizes how bad the internal rot has become.

Take heart friends - the Last Jedi is the stinking putrescence leaking through the Magical Kingdom's glossy veneer. May their competitors grow fat on its corpse.

Blogger Daniel Bendele December 16, 2017 4:35 PM  

Honestly, I thought it was much better than The Force Awakens. I rolled my eyes several times, but it didn't seem that horrible. Maybe I was just expecting much more SJW pandering than I actually saw.

All that being said, Finn is a far worse character than Jar Jar Binks

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 16, 2017 4:36 PM  

That whole game was a masterpiece of storytelling and would have made a great movie.

Thank you for reminding of something.

The trailer for the single player version of Battlefront II was actually better than the entire movie I was about to see.

Anonymous Space ZOG December 16, 2017 4:37 PM  

My shitlib brother (who voted Hillary) was crying on Faceberg how “Those corporate SOBs killed Luke Skywalker” lol

Imagine watching your legacy get dragged through the mud and put down.

Luke Skywalker is Mark Hamill's legacy. He's the hero to generations of kid who acts as a template of classic monomythical hero's journey of innocence to experience. He shows the power in the transition from impatience, hot-headedness, and quick-temperedness of youth, to the wisdom, virtue, and redemptive power of experience. In The Last Jedi this is all undone and destroyed. They intentionally ruined Luke Skywalker as a hero figure in order to push their new fanfiction characters.

Mark didn't know when he signed on that they were going to do this to him and his character. Mark used to be the face of a hero who would sacrifice everything to go and help his friends, and refuse to kill his evil father in order to redeem him instead. In (((Disney's))) version of the character, he abandons his friends, leaving them to fight a war alone, and plots to kill his nephew because he may be too powerful.

I didn’t see it yet. But seeing memes saying it is “Spaceballs for Millennials”...

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( the Original Militant Apathist ) December 16, 2017 4:40 PM  

first two reviews @ ArsTech said the movie was absolute BS:
Mark_oo wrote:
Just came back from watching it. Possibly one of the worst movie experiences of my life. Everything about that movie was just wrong, and this is coming from a 44 year old fan who even found TPM enjoyable. It is, I’m afraid to say, a crushing disappointment. I am angry having watched it. I feel dumber having experienced it. It is really, really terrible.

Nutrimentia wrote
I loved the ending and Luke’s death genuinely shocked me. The plot machinations up to that point were intolerable though. Running out of gas? Light speed escape pods with 18 hours to find someone? FaceTime with frog face during a firefight? The survivors of the Snoke ship deck explosion? It was all horrible. The force stuff with Rey and Ren was good and Luke’s contribution at the end was badass. Overall mostly unwatchable though. I hate being so unhappy about it, but that’s honest feelings.

that was in the general SW thread and quickly got derailed by quibbling about 'Spoilers'.

several in the 'official TLJ' thread which was opened subsequently have tried to claim that it's a good movie.

as a fer instance, they lurv them some Porg, calling them a "palate cleanser" for Jar Jar Binks.


that's pretty damn weak.

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 16, 2017 4:43 PM  

I forgot to make fun of the evening gown wearing purple haired admiral. My apologies.

Blogger Cecil Henry December 16, 2017 4:45 PM  


Absolutely. Well said.

The Force Awakens was like this too. Its propaganda dressed up in 'entertainment' pushed more and more brazely, offensively, and stupidly.

The hate is palpable underneath it. (((They just can't stop)))

Is every stormtrooper a 'Nazi'? Every costume justs apes muh Hitler.

Every diversity shot just pushed endlessly. You do this enough, and yeah, the dark side do become the good guys.

Don't buy the poison that is (((HOllywood)))

They hate you Whitey. They want you to know.

Anonymous VFM #6306 December 16, 2017 4:46 PM  

Her battle strategy was amazing:

1. Look pensive.
2. Reduce morale.
3. Criticize heroism.
4. Crash ship.

General Curie-Hultgren was excellent.

Blogger Elder Son December 16, 2017 4:48 PM  

I'm rethinking whether an EMP over America may actually save it.

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( the Original Militant Apathist ) December 16, 2017 5:06 PM  

also, the promo poster that Cataline posted is awful. remember that book cover a while back that i referred too as "The Green Hell"?

this is a Red Hell.

Blogger VFM #7634 December 16, 2017 5:16 PM  

From reading the comments, I guess one good thing we can say is that the chronology of the Star Wars universe does more or less parallel the recent chronology of Earth, in re SJW pozzification.

Anonymous Make Hollywood Great Again December 16, 2017 5:21 PM  

@10 If Trump wants to break Hollywood he just needs to change copyright for movies to 50 years, no exceptions. That would push every film made before 1967 (and soon to be 1968) into the public domain and mean the characters are free to be used in whatever stories you like.

If Trump did that then in 2027 the original Star Wars becomes public domain.

Blogger Emmanuel Mateo-Morales December 16, 2017 5:23 PM  


And then Obsidian made Alpha Protocol, proving once and for all that the mess ups in Kotor 2 and New Vegas could be put at least half way on their own incompetence.

Blogger OGRE December 16, 2017 5:27 PM  

While the surface of the movie is pure Disneyfied Social Justice/DirversityIsStrength/GRRLPOWER propaganda, the heart of the film is post-modernist nihilism. Post-modernism has taken absolute control of the most popular pop-culture franchise.

Who was Snoke and how did he come to power? It doesn't matter.

Who is Rey and where is she from? Shes nobody, from nowhere. And it doesn't matter.

Who is the Last Jedi? Nobody is, and it doesn't matter.

What about all the questions that we might have had from TFA, are there any answers? No, and none of it matters.

The answer to all your questions is It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. The Jedi don't matter, the Sith don't matter. Everything any of them has ever done means nothing. Burn it all down and make way for the New Order (not to be confused with those authoritarian Nazis in the First Order.)

Any movie with such an empty heart is bound to disappoint, but when the rest of the film lacks any emotion, any tension, any internal narrative consistency...well it just makes for an absolutely miserable experience. The writing in this movie makes the last season of Game of Thrones look as if it were written by Tolkien himself. Or Shakespeare. Or even fucking Dante.

Even if they took out all the SJW bullshit thats rampant throughout, this is one of the worst films ever put to screen.

Theres a reason 15 year old sci-fi gamma aspies don't get to make big budget movies, because this is what you get.

Blogger Brian Niemeier December 16, 2017 5:27 PM  

"You will beg for George Lucas before the end."

Blogger Timmy3 December 16, 2017 5:28 PM  

The prequel trilogy is still worse despite the converged Force Awakens. The movie, while repetitive, is still a solid film. I guess I’ll wait for the DVD. People need to stop trying to kill it. It’s just a movie.

Blogger Emmanuel Mateo-Morales December 16, 2017 5:29 PM  


Actually, Midocholorians are an INDICATOR of force power, not a source for it in biological systems. *Cough Cough Star Wars Celestials. Cough Cough*.

Also, what you suggest sounds like something the Yuzhan Vong would have done, especially since they exist outside of the force and use biotech virtually exclusively.

Anonymous Eli December 16, 2017 5:51 PM  

I'm really hoping John Wright gives his take on the movie. His reviews can be both enlightening and hilarious.

Blogger OGRE December 16, 2017 5:57 PM  

@81 I'm eagerly awaiting Mr. Plinkett's review, which have been the best things about Star Wars since midichlorians

Blogger Cecil Henry December 16, 2017 6:07 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Anonymous Claymore December 16, 2017 6:07 PM  

They even had to make Chewie feel bad about eating a cooked bird.

Blogger Cecil Henry December 16, 2017 6:15 PM  

'Weakness manipulated can be a sharp tool' (Ugly anorexic Sith Lord guy)

Yes indeed, that's why they push diversity™.

In this movie, in the West.

The last 2 episodes just recycle the same situations and themes in different costumes, and add an SJW political agenda underneath everything that is both incredibly offensive, cringe worthy and forced. There has been a LOT of diversity hires at both the Rebel Alliance AND the Dark Side. I guess affirmative action really pays these days.

The movie is just sweetened FILLER for SJW messages. All 'entertainment' is NOW. Its so OBVIOUS.

If they could see how this movie looks to the red pilled, they would shudder at how despicable they have made themselves.

Is it a bug or a feature that all Empire (aka 'First Order') offers receive elite British school training in diction???

Very talented CGI though: I hope the Rebel humans survive--- but I sure hope the 'Republic' is finally laid to rest.

Can you feel the suppressed glee a killing off the main archetypes of the series (Solo and Skywalker). I can.

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 16, 2017 6:35 PM  

Claymore wrote:They even had to make Chewie feel bad about eating a cooked bird.

And that's another thing!

Why was Chewie eating a cooked bird?

Blogger Gloriam Deo December 16, 2017 6:40 PM  

@85 the accent is an imperial accent. according to lore, its common in the core worlds, iirc.

Anonymous Claymore December 16, 2017 6:52 PM  

Why was Chewie eating a cooked bird?

Good point! The Chewie from the first movie would have just grabbed one and wolfed it down, like our dog once did to one of our bantam chickens.

Anonymous Xpop December 16, 2017 7:02 PM  

The mental picture of some fat goon in his Jedi costume, blubbering in the dark at Luke’s pathetic demise and the final extinction of the Jedi order.

First (((they))) topple your statues, then your fandom, then YOU. Get it yet, white man?

Blogger Cecil Henry December 16, 2017 7:03 PM  

@85: I realize that.

But its not just a coincidence.

New post

Movies are just 'Entertainment', Right? Not for the masses

These conjunction of images to the sense is not accidental. The proles get it--- even if they don't realize WHAT it is they are being delivered.

Anonymous John B. Wrong December 16, 2017 7:12 PM  

Given how much the Chinese hate blacks in movies, how bad is the kiss scene between Margaret Cho and Mace Dindu gonna hurt overseas numbers?

Blogger James Dixon December 16, 2017 7:13 PM  

> And as we found out last year with the massive, decades-long fraud over Happy Birthday, one would have to spend something like seven figures in legal fees to prove it

Of course. But it seemed worth mentioning to those interested in the subject matter.

> I too saw it in the theater on its initial release,

Yep. My first summer in college, taking summer classes. I walked something like 5 miles to the theater to see it. One of two movies I've ever been to where everyone was on their feet for a scene (the other was Jaws, for completely different reasons).

Blogger Koanic December 16, 2017 7:20 PM  

I'm delighted that the volume of the vileness in Hollywood films has finally reached a level that normies can't ignore. What you will tolerate is what you deserve.

Anonymous XPop December 16, 2017 7:41 PM  

This is a real tweet:

Baz McAlister
No wonder the backlash against #TheLastJedi didn’t start until it opened in the country that elected Trump. It's politically woke, it shakes things up, it mocks and burns down old traditions, it’s progressive and forward-looking, women lead the way, and it backs love over hate.
10:08 PM · Dec 15, 2017

Blogger eharmonica December 16, 2017 8:31 PM  

It's the 3rd best Stars Wars movie, and it stinks.

Blogger Skyler the Weird December 16, 2017 8:38 PM  

So in this version Finn is dating gender swapped Porkins?

Anonymous Ryan G December 16, 2017 9:00 PM  

@63 They shit all over the established characters and introduce new ones that are unlikable (Rey) or forgettable (Finn). Rey alone embodies everything I dislike about the new series: she knows everything and she can do everything. From the moment Finn tried to lead her to safety and she angrily shook his hand off with that girl-power, "I-don't-need-a-man-to-save-me" glare, I instantly disliked that character. Just compare her to Leia.

Leia had things she was good at (leadership/organization) and things she deferred to others to do (piloting starships). She did some fighting while in a pinch, but the primary combatants were all the other characters.

Rey is simply good at everything: fighting, piloting starships, using The Force, etc. She's perfect because having any flaw would mean she'd have to rely on male character for something. And we can't very well have that, can we?

Blogger Jon D. December 16, 2017 9:13 PM  

I saw it. It was incredibly bad. I just don't get it. I guess the moral (minor spoilers) of the story is don't let women run your galactic space fleet or you'll end up with everyone dead and in ruins.

Blogger Ahärôwn December 16, 2017 9:40 PM  

I'm glad I haven't wasted any time with Disney's SJWars.

Speaking of KOTOR2, so much was cut I had a hard time getting into that game at the time, wandering around and wondering when the plot would pick up. SWTOR did continue/wrap up the theme of "the wound in the force" more recently, with the whole "Shadow of Revan/Eternal Emperor/Zakuul" arcs. (I think the original writer came back for those).

KOTOR would make an excellent movie or three - I found the story superior to even the OT, which says something.

Anonymous Viking December 16, 2017 10:02 PM  

There was no applause at the end in my theater either. It was eerie.

All the major women were perfect. Only the guys made mistakes, and they made them big.
It should have been called Star Wars: Women save the Universe.

I should have realized what was going on when all the critics were saying that this would be a divisive movie. You will either like the changes or not. Die hard fans might not like this... They were setting it up as moving forward vs being stuck in the past and if you don't like the changes you must just be that "stuck in the past" star wars fanboy.

Kylo had even less self control and composure than teen Anakin. But I kept thinking why won't he kill Hux, Why! please just choke the shit out of him already. Letting him live? Baah. Now that is evil.

The prequels were better. They had a simplistic childish plots but at least they had a plots that went somewhere. This movie felt more like a bad fan fiction.

Women ruin everything, even galaxies that are far far away.

Blogger SemiSpook37 December 16, 2017 10:14 PM  

I think a lot of this has to do with the way things have gone over the past 40 years in regards to society and the overall culture. I'm not as irked over the whole GRRLPWR side of this as others (mainly because I only have daughters; I keep that in check by reminding them that the fact that they are capable of bearing children already makes them powerful enough), but I do think that a lot of folks are putting a little too much stock in these films as time has gone on. That goes for both sides of this argument.

Part of the problem for the younger generation is that they don't have any real connection with the elements of the OT like those of us that experienced it when it first premiered. Not only that, many of those same "fans" know the original protagonists of then as something completely different now. I mean, when they see Mark Hammil, they see the Joker in the animated Batman shows (doesn't help that he wanted his son's baby mama to abort his bastard granddaughter, which essentially killed Luke for me anyways). Carrie Fisher (RIP) was in and out of rehab. That sort of thing. They can't see the older heroes that many of us saw when they first arrived for us.

Yeah, the diversity thing is equally annoying. That's more of a Disney thing these days. I think there should be a fourth rule: SJWs Can't Help Themselves. Granted, the original stories brought in some diversity due to the fact it was a unique place to tell a story and it sort of required some out of the box thinking, but doing it because you can't think of anything else is pretty weak. Pretty obvious to others, as well.

Personally, Star Wars hasn't been the same escape for me for quite some time. I've found more satisfaction in some of the derivative materials (such as the Clone Wars and Rebels cartoons, which aren't over the top and stick to telling the story better, IMHO), but it's not like it was when I was younger. Doesn't help that Lucas had already screwed things up with the Special Editions before the prequels.

Anonymous Anonymous December 16, 2017 10:28 PM  

And Hamill never really took that comment back....

Anonymous Post Alley Crackpot December 16, 2017 10:39 PM  

There's a reason to see it if you're going to parody it, I suppose ...

Think of all of the fun parody characters you can create from this mess: Kilo Cocainewalker, Cuban Humidor, Supreme Reefer Smoke.

Then think of how much more fun it would be to watch a Cheech & Chong-styled parody of this latest Star Wars-branded train wreck.

I'm not saying that you'd need to be on drugs to watch the recent Star Wars-branded stuff, but I'm pretty sure it'd help heaps ...

Blogger beerme December 16, 2017 11:06 PM  

@13 @23 It's funny, as a kid I used to prefer Star Wars EU books because even though the quality wasn't always there, you didn't end up with the utter wrongness of 90's mainstream SFF and at least got something approaching a story. Things have truly taken a 180.

Anonymous MIchael Maier December 16, 2017 11:32 PM  

The preview for A WRINKLE IN TIME was on before EP 8. It was more than a little fitting. That book sucks and the movie looks ten fold worse.

Anonymous FP December 16, 2017 11:52 PM  

Wow, just wow.

NSFW? Maybe? Hot alien animal milking action from The Last Jedi.

Anonymous Ain December 16, 2017 11:56 PM  

"Every one of the positive fan reviews reads exactly the same: Yea Diversity! The past is dead! Sure the burnt everything down, but its a good thing!"

In other words, they're astroturfing.

Anonymous Ain December 17, 2017 12:28 AM  

"The KOTOR2 plot development that Revan might never really have fallen to the Dark Side was outstanding and shows that Star Wars doesn't have to be static and rehashed storylines."

The Revanchist is my favorite Star Wars character. KOTOR's plot is better than any of the Star Wars movies.

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( the Original Militant Apathist ) December 17, 2017 12:30 AM  

86. Cataline Sergius December 16, 2017 6:35 PM
Why was Chewie eating a cooked bird?

because you always let the wookie eat whatever he wants? is this a trick question?

105. FP December 16, 2017 11:52 PM
NSFW? Maybe? Hot alien animal milking action from The Last Jedi.

oh, for god's sake. don't ever visit a dairy farm, you'll never drink milk again.

Blogger Chiva December 17, 2017 12:35 AM  

Hot alien animal milking action from The Last Jedi

That was one scene that made many uncomfortable. I saw many people glance uneasily at each other just after THAT scene.

Anonymous Looking Glass December 17, 2017 1:14 AM  

I'm noticing a running trend of the reviews on YouTube. They keep getting worse as people think about the movie. Same thing happened with The Phantom Menace. Leaving on Duel of Fates was a good theater experience back in '99, but this one is happening over the course of a weekend.

Fascinating stuff.

Blogger Michael Neal December 17, 2017 1:14 AM  

One of opening comments in the film was from Poe insulting the General as a pasty ass, then the film proceeds to continue tearing down any white male heroes remaining from the last movie. Psychological warfare against white the male persona.

Blogger Technomad December 17, 2017 1:16 AM  

I'd rather have more movies like Rogue One. It wasn't perfect by any means, but didn't pander so obviously as you say The Last Jedi does, and also did not center around the endless dramas of the dysfunctional Skywalker family.

Anonymous Eli December 17, 2017 1:25 AM  

Some of the apologist reviews for the film are cringe worthy. It's sad how they are all for tearing down heroes and spitting on old legacies that they had nothing to do with.

Anonymous FP December 17, 2017 1:31 AM  

"oh, for god's sake. don't ever visit a dairy farm, you'll never drink milk again."

Yes, but when I think of Star Wars, I totally think of quad titted beasts being milked by Luke Skywalker. Its such a natural fit.

Blogger Tatooine Sharpshooters' Club December 17, 2017 1:43 AM  

Why was Chewie eating a cooked bird?

Because Malla was too busy cooking Bantha surprise, and Itchy and Lumpy already scarfed up the Wookiee-ookiees.

Blogger Gospace December 17, 2017 2:06 AM  

80% of my children say I should see it. One hasn't seen it yet.

Anonymous Elcid Barrett December 17, 2017 2:12 AM  

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the more I see and hear of Adam Driver the more he reminds me of the types I absolutely hated while in the military. They served another master, they didn't belong, and you could tell. One such I served with has since "transitioned."

Anonymous JAG December 17, 2017 2:14 AM  

Star Wars Ass 2: More Farting

Blogger ((( bob kek mando ))) - ( the Original Militant Apathist ) December 17, 2017 2:26 AM  

114. FP December 17, 2017 1:31 AM
Yes, but when I think of Star Wars, I totally think of quad titted beasts being milked by Luke Skywalker. Its such a natural fit.

it's clear from Luke's expression after drinking the milk that the entire scene was filmed to "disgust" all woke right-thinking Millennials.

but that's ( somewhat, the film version is probably the way a fag thinks of it ) what milking looks like.

Anonymous Scalzone December 17, 2017 3:09 AM john scalzi AMA on reddit

Anonymous Looking Glass December 17, 2017 3:35 AM  


Much like The Phantom Menace, The Last Jedi is going to produce its own cottage industry of taking a dump on the movie. While most of the left-aligned folks can't bring themselves to really get to the deeper reason, the reality is they've destroyed Luke Skywalker and this is one of the first time one of "their" symbols has gotten the SJW destruction.

Like most things, the response isn't analytical but instinctual, and it's going to be fun to watch. Already seen one Reviewer go from a positive/enjoyed it with problems to "you know, there were a lot of issues" to "wow, this was really, really bad" in about 24 hours.

Blogger LibertyPortraits December 17, 2017 8:38 AM  

It was very boring. I feel like great special effects have made it possible for companies to churn out garbage after garbage and the fans eat it up. I went to the movie only for the special affects in a giant theater, not for the characters or the story, because I knew those would be shit. Where else can I see giant spaceships blow things up?

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 17, 2017 8:53 AM  

Elcid Barrett wrote:Correct me if I'm wrong, but the more I see and hear of Adam Driver the more he reminds me of the types I absolutely hated while in the military. They served another master, they didn't belong, and you could tell. One such I served with has since "transitioned."

Driver was in the Marines for 2 1/2 years. Right after he got orders to Iraq, he had, "an accident while mountain biking and injured his back."

Med discharge shortly thereafter.

Anonymous Sensei December 17, 2017 8:55 AM  

Can confirm that it "felt" fun while watching and for about 5 minutes afterwards, then has been going downhill sincee then. I still think it was a better film than 7, possibly because I simply don't like J. J. Abrams, but that's not saying much.

It was like a low quality burger. If you can scarf it down while it's still hot, it's reasonably good-tasting, but the longer it stays with you the more you regret the experience.

The movie was supposed to teach us that strong, "mature" ladies know more than silly men and are amused by them, but *mild spoiler alert, beware* if you were paying attention their pitiful "tharn" pretense at leadership resulted in nearly everyone in the entire rebellion dying.

It was also supposed to be a beautiful rainbow of diversity, but in typical hollywood fashion every ethnicity was played hard for stereotypes. (black as comic relief/pratfall guy, asian as mechanic fan girl, latino as emotional hothead pilot, etc)

As others have mentioned it was also weirdly boring, and the story decisions were neither interesting nor did they make any sense. I am seeing a lot of comments along the lines of "eh... this is where I've lost interest in Star Wars"

Anonymous Elcid Barrett December 17, 2017 9:00 AM  

@124 Right, I knew he'd been in and the circumstances of his...departure, but cursory searches have not pulled up anything overtly political from the guy, just amygdalic journos fawning over the thenthitive therviceman who is now an actor. Though taking part in such abominations as Lena Dunham's "Girls" and the new Star Wars films I can take a wild guess. The others he reminds me of have not proved me wrong yet.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan December 17, 2017 9:23 AM  

The sequels make you Star Wars nerds look like bag holders of trash that was sold as gold.

I finally watched Rogue One last night, boring save for the final scenes where the Rebs play space marine infantry, I might have to watch it again to see if that part holds up. IMO and it is just that if you do space marine infantry right you are half way there to having a good movie.

Blogger Nick December 17, 2017 11:19 AM  

SJWs Always Lie: 93% critic score vs. 56% audience score.

SJWs Always Project: Why is the New Republic of Diversity reduced to living in the jungle again in 30 years? Why is the Empire/New Order of "White Supremacy" the only semi-competent organization in the galaxy? They build, the diversity attacks and destroys, they rebuild, the diversity attacks and destroys, they rebuild again, and so on. SJW inferiority complex? Some unwelcome reality creeping in?

SJWs Always Project: Luke (previously a stand-in for the everyman hero archetype in white farmboy guise) has thoughts of harming a child. How many in the audience were repulsed by that and couldn't relate? Conversely, how many in Hollywood related to that?

SJWs Always Double Down: $4 billion is a small price to pay to destroy a modern mythology that had a chance to inspire white men to rise above modest origins. But turning Luke from an optimistic triumphant hero into a bitter old cowardly Jedi Going His Own Way (JGTOW?)? Almost better than turning Christ into an impotent Judeo-Christ.

SJWs Always Double Down: Disney had to eliminate the old heroes (preferably after showing them to be pathetic and all their efforts in the OT to have been worthless), in order to get the franchise into the same paint-by-numbers approach as all their other movies. Now that the audience is emotionally disconnected from Luke/Han/Leia and the hero archetype, Disney can shove in a different diverse hero/cast in each predictable technically-amazing-but-emotionally-forgettable movie it pumps out from here to eternity.

From a financial standpoint, destroying Star Wars makes little sense. From a cultural standpoint, the destruction was the entire point of Disney buying it to begin with.

Blogger Were-Puppy December 17, 2017 12:04 PM  

@69 Cataline Sergius
I forgot to make fun of the evening gown wearing purple haired admiral. My apologies.

My favorite admiral was the bug eyed shrimp like chinese dude with the loveboat captains costume - "It'th a twap"

Blogger Mr.MantraMan December 17, 2017 12:10 PM  

Life has got to suck raw balls if all they have to live for is to destroy the white heroic mythos.

Give me Gilberec Moth in space anyday

Anonymous Manwe December 17, 2017 12:53 PM  

George Lucas was the author of Star Wars. Without his input, it ain't Star Wars. I wonder what happens to Luke, Han, and Leia in Lucas' plot outlines for episodes 7, 8, and 9. We might never find out. Star Wars is dead. Hollywood is dead.

Blogger Meanoldbasterd December 17, 2017 1:19 PM  

I was active duty as a 19S for 4 years and 9 months. I was stop losses for those last 9 months in order to deploy with the seventh cavalry to OIF II. While on leave in the summer of 2003 I SHATTERED my right ankle. I had 3 surgeries and 9 months on crutches, padded boots etc. my first day back from surgery #1 I am standing in line for PT with the others and my first sergeant stands in front of me and says "so, what CAN you do?" I thought about it, propped my broken ankle on top of my good foot and cranked out about 30-40 good push ups. He then said "do about ten sets of push ups, some crunches, and then I want you to crutch your ass around the B's (barracks) While we run. I skipped the padded shoe and was back to running again in February. When we deployed in March 2004 I had to sign a waiver foregoing 6 months of physical therapy...

In my first PT run back with my troop I got a screaming ovation when I was able to call cadence.
I remember my leg going totally numb in the Bradley and having to punch myself in the thigh to get feeling back below the knee.

If Adam driver (darth bitch ass) was not permanently crippled by his Nike accident, then he is a worthless pussy.

Blogger Meanoldbasterd December 17, 2017 1:19 PM  

Sorry... A 19D cavalry scout... Damn auto correct

Blogger papabear December 18, 2017 1:30 AM  

" I wonder what happens to Luke, Han, and Leia in Lucas' plot outlines for episodes 7, 8, and 9. We might never find out. Star Wars is dead. Hollywood is dead."

I thought he wasn't planning to include them at first.

Anonymous Elcid Barrett December 18, 2017 5:20 AM  

Hehey, that's what I was. And good on ye, brother. Did all my 8 years with an improperly healed hip injury sustained in OSUT on top of pretty severe lumbar lordosis.

Blogger Akulkis December 18, 2017 9:48 AM  

Not to be confused with Lardassis.

Anonymous Anonymous December 18, 2017 5:28 PM  

"From the moment Finn tried to lead her to safety and she angrily shook his hand off with that girl-power, "I-don't-need-a-man-to-save-me" glare, I instantly disliked that character. Just compare her to Leia."

Leia was a stony-eyed crazy bitch in the original trilogy. Recall the dialogue when two guys - at risk to their lives - came to rescue her.

HAN: Can't get out that way.
LEIA: Looks like you managed to cut off our only escape route.
HAN: (sarcastically) Maybe you'd like it back in your cell, Your Highness.

Damn straight. Swift proposed that ingratitude should be a capital crime, because a person who turns on their benefactor will only treat everybody else worse.

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