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Tuesday, June 19, 2018

Mailvox: converging Total War

AR observes some unnecessary updates to one of the dogs of the Total War series.
I decided to try replaying Total War: Rome 2 recently. After a mandatory update from Steam, I noticed a bunch of... peculiar updates. Nothing has changed except the following:
  • They added female Generals / Leaders. This includes voices and skins (graphics) for female characters both on the strategic map and the battlefield.
  • They added feminist propaganda in the loading screens. This goes for graphics and copy.
Zenobia is perhaps the only female whose superior genius broke through the servile indolence imposed on her sex by the climate and manners of Asia.
- Edward Gibbon, English historian (1734-1794)

Why would they put all this work into a 5-year-old video game that flopped upon release? Do you think a blue-haired androgyne fatty take over that project?
It sounds to me as if an SJW was named a first-time producer on a minor project and decided that the game could be updated by bringing its politics up to date.

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57 Comments:

Blogger Unknown June 19, 2018 11:26 AM  

Feminists appropriating male accomplishment = #StolenValour

Blogger Porky Ellitinik June 19, 2018 11:37 AM  

Academical consultation : Mary Beard?

Blogger CarpeOro June 19, 2018 11:38 AM  

I believe I sited some of the updates in a previous thread when I dug up the game and started a campaign as Massila for a change of pace. Suddenly women were coming up in the events as characters. They weren't available as generals at the time, seemed generally just a bit of clutter to the game. I never really liked the game as battles seem to end up in cities... the AI never bother intercepting you. Attila is a bit better, but not much. As a result, I am more likely to play Total War: Empire or Total War: Medieval 2. Too bad Galactic Civilizations III has been updated to the point game play bears little resemblance to the original or I'd play that on occasion (My major dislike is the galactic food pool idiocy. Food pools on a regional, planetary or at least solar system basis are plausible - simple economics make galactic questionable at best).

Blogger CarpeOro June 19, 2018 11:42 AM  

Heck, I may even be tempted to break out Total War: Rome as an alternative for that epoch. Total War: Shogun 2 is also decent. With these new "improvements" to TWR2, it makes me a bit wary of the Total War: Three Kingdoms that I've seen mentioned as an upcoming release.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine June 19, 2018 11:52 AM  

Use words they don't know the meaning of, like indolence? Check.

Blogger John Cunningham June 19, 2018 12:05 PM  

VFM 424 here-- Azure, I put more trust in Gibbon's word choice than yours. Knocking Gibbon is a losing game methinks.

Blogger FP June 19, 2018 12:16 PM  

For pete's sake, now I'll have to see if they've done this to the Britannia version that came out a few months ago. Its not as if you can't go play a dark elf queen or vampire chick in the fantasy Warhammer versions.

This just makes it easier to buy these games when they go on fire sale via gold editions or when the next iteration is released.

@3 I want to support Stardock but the various design decisions and pricing on GalCiv3 make it hard to. That Merc expansion was basically a new game, just from the fact that old saves are unplayable unless you uninstall the expansion. Only Stellaris' is worse on patches killing old saves.

Blogger doctrev June 19, 2018 12:17 PM  

Rome 2 cured me of pre-ordering games, even after the wildly successful Shogun 2. You've been able to have female assassins for a while, so repurposing the skins for generals is understandable.

Still, it's converged as hell and completely justifies my decision to turn down Total War and its absurd DLC policies. Bring on Kingdom Come, Witcher, and the other fruits of Slavic technomancy.

Blogger Wanderer June 19, 2018 12:28 PM  

At this point I'm surprised that the Romans are still white and not black Muslim transwom*n.

Blogger Crew June 19, 2018 12:39 PM  

Zenobia is perhaps the only female whose superior genius broke through the servile indolence imposed on her sex by the climate and manners of Asia.

Wait. That is highly sexist ...

Blogger Stg58/Animal Mother June 19, 2018 12:44 PM  

BREAKING: IG Horowitz says 2 of the 3 unnamed FBI agents caught sending anti-Trump text messages are currently on the Robert Mueller probe investigating President Trump

https://twitter.com/WiredSources/status/1009102397778681856?s=19

Blogger Crew June 19, 2018 12:44 PM  

Hmmmm:

Consolidating the gains made by her husband against the Persians, from A.D. 268 Zenobia exploited Roman imperial weakness, annexing swaths of modern-day Syria, Turkey, and Egypt.

So, without her husband doing what he did perhaps she would have been totally unknown.

Blogger de Ruyter June 19, 2018 12:46 PM  

That's interesting,I decided to replay Rome II to play the Seleucids after reading some about the Diadochi.

The Galatians, Celts which had settled in Anatolia, had a female leader in the game. I googled her but couldn't find anything about her. A few other minor factions had a female leader too.

I was a bit puzzled but didn't think much of it. And here a day later I am reading about this very same thing.

Blogger Sgt Polite June 19, 2018 1:04 PM  

Maybe now with the update they could change the name to Totes War!

Blogger LP999-16 June 19, 2018 1:10 PM  

Awful. Women cannot accept, games are best done and presented for play by men for us to play.

I adore Nioh and all but some portions of it are just absurd.

Some broad with multi colorded hair must have been suggesting things or added some subtle hints at chicification into.

There is no way any lady blacksmiths were around in 16th century Japan.

This girl and her grandad smith', sure enough the girl injures her eye, patched it, and now does the one eye salute. A slight annoyance in an overall good game that gets better after winning the Queen's mission to enter DLC.

Blogger Ostar June 19, 2018 1:10 PM  

Crew wrote:Hmmmm:

Consolidating the gains made by her husband against the Persians, from A.D. 268 Zenobia exploited Roman imperial weakness, annexing swaths of modern-day Syria, Turkey, and Egypt.

So, without her husband doing what he did perhaps she would have been totally unknown.


Exactly! Her husband, Odaenathus, took his city (Palmyra) from a regional center subordinate to Rome into the supreme power in the East, while remaining nominally subordinate to Rome.

After he was assassinated, Zenobia took over and declared her independence. Then Rome counterattacked, and her empire was gone in less than two years.

So she didn't build her empire, and she actually squandered what her husband had made with blood and sweat.

Blogger tuberman June 19, 2018 1:11 PM  

These fool SJWs still today insist that traditional Christians and Nationalists are "On the wrong side of history," again an inversion of the truth. Even Soros is figuring it out, but his tools have not.

"Everything that can go wrong, has gone wrong," is a paraphrase of his latest quote. Their "Progress" is just anarchy from above through obvious tyranny on the traditionalists. More and more know, and it will be destroyed. The pendulum has already begun swinging them into the Wrong Side of History.

Blogger Dire Badger June 19, 2018 1:12 PM  

The moment they decide to add a 'female engineer' to Factorio, I'm demanding a refund. Tired of people making every game about sex.

Blogger tuberman June 19, 2018 1:14 PM  

The Vikings were the first to discover America from Europe, and it was a female warrior that destroyed that first Viking colony.

Blogger Solaire Of Astora June 19, 2018 1:17 PM  

This could probably be modded out. I bought Rome 2 when it came out but only played it about once. I've ignored the series until Warhammer which is pretty good and its setting is harder to interfere with in this way since they are trying to stay true to the lore. Plus with the comic book qualities of Warhammer with its wizards and undead scorpion queen style women they might not even feel the need.

Blogger A rebel without a General June 19, 2018 1:19 PM  

I pre-ordered TWR2 HUGE regret

Blogger Stg58/Animal Mother June 19, 2018 1:21 PM  

Dire Badger wrote:The moment they decide to add a 'female engineer' to Factorio, I'm demanding a refund. Tired of people making every game about sex.

You have chosen the form of your destroyer.

Blogger DraveckysHumerus June 19, 2018 1:24 PM  

It sounds to me as if an SJW was named a first-time producer on a minor project and decided that the game could be updated by bringing its politics up to date.

This encapsulates so very very much within a single sentence as to be profound.

Blogger Pax_Romana June 19, 2018 1:26 PM  

I could understand Boudicca as a leader for the Brittania Faction, but...well, her inexperience and her army's inferior armament lead them to turn a 10-1 (or 23-1, depending on source) numerical advantage into an overwhelming loss. So...she's less a story of a "badass woman warrior," and more "When fighting Rome, only an idiot gives up the numerical advantage."

Tacitus' record of Seutonius' pre-battle speech is also pretty indicative of how little regard the Romans had for women warriors, and apparently, rightly so.

Blogger tuberman June 19, 2018 1:28 PM  

Should we make a law against appropriation of White Male Culture in the future? I thinks so, no one should be allowed access to our culture except as a guest, with "guest laws" enforced. If one is not a proper guest, if not a White Male, one should not be allowed access to indoor plumbing for example. Street latrines for Feminists or dindus, or anyone else that does not display "guest" manners. All of these people are guests of Western Civilization as they have created little to nothing.


This may seem absurd, yet just Cultural Appropriation carried to it's logical conclusion.

Blogger SciVo June 19, 2018 1:32 PM  

Sgt Polite wrote:Maybe now with the update they could change the name to Totes War!

It is a battle over limited-edition designer gym bags. Hair will be pulled and eyes will be scratched. Trash talk may involve yoga positions and female dogs.

Blogger Resident Moron™ June 19, 2018 1:58 PM  

I'd tolerate the indolence if I could get some servility.

Alas, ear wax!

Blogger kapy53 June 19, 2018 2:02 PM  

The re-writing of history is fully underway.

Blogger Sam June 19, 2018 2:08 PM  

It was probably part of the "Daughters of Mars" DLC, their attempt to compete with "Beasts of War" for dumbest DLC. It has

2 female gladiator units
1 Ethiopian melee
1 Portuguese melee
1 German archer
1 German melee
1 Sparta skirmisher

The only female units in the base game are Royal Scythian; they have two female horse archers.

In Attila Total War women make up a percentage of horde levy units.

Blogger tz June 19, 2018 2:11 PM  

Convergence goes Minnie Mouse:
I thought Disney was using H1-Bs, but apparently they prefer STEMinist coders.

Blogger Feather Blade June 19, 2018 2:16 PM  

Edward Gibbon is feminist propaganda?

A guy who was writing before feminism was invented? Really?

Blogger papabear June 19, 2018 2:21 PM  

But Keira Knightley was a badass archer in that Clive Owen movie about King Arthur!

Blogger Crew June 19, 2018 2:41 PM  

But Keira Knightley was a badass archer in that Clive Owen movie about King Arthur!

Anyone who knows that men have, on average, 90% more upper body strength than women knows that it was just fantasy. Even fat bull dykes do not have the strength required.

Blogger Ben Cohen June 19, 2018 2:46 PM  

Rome total war was a great game. You were unstoppable once you got to build praetorians and heavy cavalry.

Anyone here play as Parthia and mass produce cataphracts?

Blogger Mr.MantraMan June 19, 2018 2:48 PM  

How about a game with camp followers?

Blogger Mr. Deficient June 19, 2018 2:58 PM  

I cannot remember who said it here or how it went exactly but "Total War is for Cucks, Crusader Kings 2 and Europa Univeralis 4 are for defenders of western civilization". In truth TW is still great, mainly because of what Mods can do with it. Rome 2 was one of the worse sequels ever on release (considering the first game was soooo good).

Blogger Johnny June 19, 2018 3:00 PM  

>>Edward Gibbon is feminist propaganda?

Gibbon had a fondness for novelty, which no doubt is why he brought this up. He also related how the Romans defeated a female warrior leader in North Africa. Apparently she was a spectacular figure because the paraded her through Rome in a victory parade, while being bound with chain that was made of pure gold.

But I believe we can say with certainty that he did not have feminist leanings. He thought that one of the things that brought Rome down was the abandonment of traditional male virtues by the leadership.

Blogger Man of The West June 19, 2018 3:25 PM  

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Blogger S1AL June 19, 2018 3:27 PM  

"Stop feigning ignorance of the context in an attempt to show your own knowledge of the subject."

He was responding to someone else. Calm down.

Blogger VoodooJock June 19, 2018 3:30 PM  

Sounds like they need to make a more realistic version of Total War. One that involves the savages brawling over consumer goods at Walmart on Black Friday. Or pillaging St. Louis-area liquor and shoe stores. Plenty of females on the front lines there.

Blogger Crew June 19, 2018 3:34 PM  

Actually, VoodooJock, how about a CWII game ... that would be interesting.

There should be lynchings and crucifixions.

Blogger Azimus June 19, 2018 3:50 PM  

I would very much love for the west-hating communist harpies that are the feminists to absorb that it is the East that Gibbon is speaking of.

Blogger Ludwig Van Meth-thoven June 19, 2018 3:57 PM  

Yo Vox, you've probably already seen this article about Jordan Peterson, but Peterson's former college colleague wrote a fascinating piece in the "Toronto Star" on Peterson's probable agenda, echoing many of your views of his false prophet intentions.

https://www.thestar.com/opinion/2018/05/25/i-was-jordan-petersons-strongest-supporter-now-i-think-hes-dangerous.html

Blogger DraveckysHumerus June 19, 2018 5:14 PM  

43.
Now now now, let us not be hasty. JP is merely leader maximus, savior of our souls, the captain of our lives, the dominator invited into all the bedrooms in our households including the pooch's palaise and goat lockers. Provided you're Canuck or canoodled. Now as for me and mine well we're not buying into any of that crap and you shouldn't either. Instead, worship me oh minions, stare into my eyes ... ha aha ha ah ha ha ha ha haaaaa ... now enough about that Canuck son of The Merkelate.

Blogger Brick Hardslab June 19, 2018 6:25 PM  

I'm the lotr nerd who got all the ring mods for tw. Too bad it's converged.

Blogger Brick Hardslab June 19, 2018 6:25 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

Blogger Solaire Of Astora June 19, 2018 7:28 PM  

@36. Mr. Deficient

A lot of the grand strategy/Paradox audience is elitist and act like they are strategic geniuses. I always saw their attitude toward TW as something akin to a category error since it's a series that focuses on battle tactics and makes no pretense toward holding any significant strategic depth. They also like to trash Civilization, and I haven't played the newest ones, but I played Civ IV and I always found it to be much harder than any Paradox game. The randomness makes it much more emergent and skill oriented even though it has a more superficial outward appearance. I think the greatest strength of Paradox games is actually the role playing element and not so much the strategic element.

Blogger basementhomebrewer June 19, 2018 7:36 PM  

On the bright side. During CWII in America we can count on the SJW faction believing their own propaganda and creating all female military leadership and demographically representative units to deploy against us.

Blogger Sidehill Dodger June 19, 2018 8:31 PM  

I think my taste in games is different from most people here, but I can testify that the convergence has been occurring for some time across a wide spectrum of games.

For instance, I used to like the Sid Meier Civilization type of game. Thought I'd give it another spin, and bought the most recent edition on Steam. After building my first structures, I came into contact with a Mooslim civilization. Ther game offered me a choice: make friends or make war? I chose war, of course. I can't prove it was engineered that way, but from that point on, the game was hopeless for me. Turns out the Mooslims had such a high level of civilization that it would have been oh so much better for me to make nice to them. Never played it again after that.

I used to play Warcraft and earlier still, Everquest. After about the turn of the century, both games started featuring refugees as a major element of the background story. You would get missions to "help the refugees". My mage hated the slothful, degenerate scum, and would fireball the suckers whenever he got a shot, regardless of the faction hit. Yes, the children too. It seems to me that the pressure to "help the refugees" got stronger with time, so that it was impossible to get certain desirable items unless you took those quests. Haven't played either game for years. I wish another good MMORPG would come out, but if it did, it would probably be called "Magic UN Peacekeeper Refugee Quest".

Blogger tz June 19, 2018 8:34 PM  

Conduct coders hacked

We're equal, until someone is boorish or vulgar.

Blogger Sidehill Dodger June 19, 2018 9:34 PM  

There are a few, very few, instances of women who were successful female war-leaders. These women are so exceptional that "they prove the rule"--they are a tiny number in what has always been a predominantly male occupation.

Off the top of my head, I can think of two or three such women, other than Zenobia; research might turn up a few more. Almost always, these women took the place of absent or (suddenly) dead husbands. They didn't achieve victory by personal strength but by their wits and guile. Joan of Arc is the one who is really the anomaly that stands out of this anomalous group. One can make a case that she had genuine military talent.

Most moderns can't imagine that there were actually many women among the common soldiers of European armies during the early modern era (ca. 1500 through 1700). These were not line soldiers, but auxiliaries--also known as "camp followers". In addition to selling sex, they also did the laundry, mended clothing, and nursed the sick or injured. These women, (among whom were some soldier's legal wives), and numerous merchants and tradesmen made up the "train" of the typical European Army during the Thirty Year's War. There was usually someone at least nominally in charge of this crowd, who was sometimes officially referred to as "Sergeant of Whores".

I wouldn't mind at all if this colorful, inclusive, and diverse group were part of some war game. Surely it would add verisimilitude and provide some interesting interactions that were actually part of army life back then.

Blogger Jack Amok June 19, 2018 10:12 PM  

Turns out the Mooslims had such a high level of civilization that it would have been oh so much better for me to make nice to them. Never played it again after that.

That's just normal Civ - the other civilizations, moose limbs or not - are usually not easy to steamroll early. No zerg rushes.

Blogger Crew June 19, 2018 10:25 PM  

On the bright side. During CWII in America we can count on the SJW faction believing their own propaganda and creating all female military leadership and demographically representative units to deploy against us.

We could troll them greatly by creating a CWII game that demonstrates how hard it is for minorities and lezbos to win ...

Blogger Man of The West June 19, 2018 11:42 PM  

You’re right. I went off half-cocked. My bad.

Blogger Bibliotheca Servare June 20, 2018 12:00 AM  

@Azure Amaranthine
Is that a (developer) made-up quote? I suppose "servile laziness" does sound kind of odd...

Blogger Dirk Manly June 20, 2018 12:01 PM  

@55

Of course it is.

Servile ==> in the manner of a servant
Laziness... NOT something you look for in a servant.

Blogger SirHamster June 20, 2018 2:47 PM  

Sidehill Dodger wrote:I used to play Warcraft and earlier still, Everquest. After about the turn of the century, both games started featuring refugees as a major element of the background story. You would get missions to "help the refugees".

On the other hand, note that it's WARcraft, not Peacecraft.

Diversity + proximity = war.

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