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Sunday, July 14, 2019

007, converged

It was only a matter of time before James Bond became a gay black woman.
Since Daniel Craig announced he was standing down as James Bond, debate has raged whether the next 007 should be a woman, or black.

Now The Mail on Sunday can reveal that she will be both – thanks to the intervention of feminist TV writer Phoebe Waller-Bridge.

In what's been called a 'popcorn-dropping moment', British star Lashana Lynch, will be given Bond's licence to kill in the 25th movie in the franchise, currently being shot in Italy and the UK.
They're just teasing it now with replacing the number. But they're obviously hoping they can get away with making the actual substitution once Craig is actually done for good. While they're at it, why don't they really shake things up and give him Downs Syndrome and put him in a wheelchair?
This is a Bond for the modern era who will appeal to a younger generation while sticking true to what we all expect in a Bond film,' the source added. 'There are spectacular chase sequences and fights, and Bond is still Bond but he's having to learn to deal with the world of #MeToo.
I'm guessing it probably won't appeal as much to the younger generations as they think. Perhaps we'll have to start thinking about writing a script for Roland Dane....

Labels: ,

120 Comments:

Blogger Amy July 14, 2019 6:20 AM  

“Gay black woman”

It was just a joke, people. Why did you take it seriously?

Blogger SciVo July 14, 2019 6:23 AM  

Burn. It. Down.

Blogger Teleport me off this rock July 14, 2019 6:24 AM  

They're maximizing Moneypenny's melanin too


feminist TV writer Phoebe Waller-Bridge

Creator of the heinously unfunny Fleabag. I'm sure "Phoebe's script is as sharp and funny as you would expect", since I would expect it to be as funny as contracting malaria.

Anonymous Anonymous July 14, 2019 6:31 AM  

Frankly I’d prefer the malaria

Blogger SemiSpook37 July 14, 2019 6:32 AM  

This is going to make Moonraker look like a legitimate art house thought piece...

I didn’t think that was possible.

Blogger Rocklea Marina July 14, 2019 6:34 AM  

As long as Leslie Jones is James Bond and Milo is M, I'm all for it. We still don't know who Q is.

Blogger God Emperor Memes July 14, 2019 6:46 AM  

Perhaps, but I'm sure "Q" will stand for "Queer".

Blogger God Emperor Memes July 14, 2019 6:50 AM  

What will her film be called?
"GoldenTeeth"
"Thunderballer"
"The Spy Who Dindu Nuffin"

Blogger pdwalker July 14, 2019 6:53 AM  

well, that’s another franchise destroyed. they are nothing, if not consistent.

she should be fat too. it’s important that we do not discriminate against alternative body types.

Blogger Shimshon July 14, 2019 7:12 AM  

"A movie insider said: 'There is a pivotal scene at the start of the film where M says 'Come in 007', and in walks Lashana who is black, beautiful and a woman."

Two out of three is correct. Unless, by "beautiful" you mean "looks like Leslie Jones but even more so."

Blogger Yordan Yordanov July 14, 2019 7:22 AM  

What I find most amazing is that no one in the chain of decision making goes "This isn't going to make money, scrap it!".

Blogger MATT July 14, 2019 7:23 AM  

That's fine, Bond has been an emo fag with no personality for the last 13 years.

Blogger Amethyst Dominica July 14, 2019 7:24 AM  

During the French Revolution, the Aristocrats thrown into the Bastille would be forced to see the heads of their recently executed friends on pikes waved outside of their prison cell windows.

What is this recent SJW convergence but the Left playing out that act of horror symbolically? Taking something that their political enemies enjoyed and revered, killing it, and parading the decapitated remains before them in triumph?

The fact that they'll lose a bunch of money and eventually rip each other apart due to infighting doesn't faze them, as long as they can see the crestfallen looks on the faces of the boys and men whose heroes they've humiliated and killed?

Blogger Stilicho July 14, 2019 7:25 AM  

I'm looking forward to the remake of The Outlaw Josey Wales, with Eastwood replaced by a transexual Samoan woman who is fighting for her right to be a furry--Josie Wales and the Pussycats. Box office gold!

Blogger Ransom Smith July 14, 2019 7:30 AM  

I saw this yesterday and couldn't find anyone outside the Mail who had confirmed it.
Barbara Broccoli, the producer, has in the past said Bond would never be female.
So this whole story has an air of dubiousness to it.

Blogger Glaivester July 14, 2019 7:30 AM  

I clicked on the article. I saw the picture of Latasha Lynch. Are we sure that the "new Bond" is actually female?

Blogger Glaivester July 14, 2019 7:31 AM  

Sorry, Lashana.

Blogger Stilicho July 14, 2019 7:40 AM  

"The Spy who Dindu Nuffin"

Perfect.

"Frankly, I'd prefer malaria"

Yep.

Blogger Careless Whisper July 14, 2019 7:48 AM  

British star Lashana Lynch, will be given Bond's licence to kill the franchise

Blogger Ranger July 14, 2019 7:51 AM  

"Bond would never be female" yes, but she never said anything about 007, did she?

Blogger Mr.MantraMan July 14, 2019 8:00 AM  

What a dumb sh*t test, and cruel especially to the black woman who frankly is basically gay men's and ugly women's revenge on pretty girls. Pettiness off the charts, will continue till morale improves.

Blogger FrankNorman July 14, 2019 8:02 AM  

Anyone else feel that this time around, you'll be rooting for SPECTRE?

Blogger Skyler the Weird July 14, 2019 8:20 AM  

Phoebe Waller-Bridge played the SJW robot in Solo. I can imagine her Bond will not fight SPECTRE but the Patriarchy.

Blogger Dave Dave July 14, 2019 8:23 AM  

"She" is a 0/10 and nobody will watch the movie because of that. I have never seen such qn ugly "woman" in such a profile franchise. They're usually somewhat attractive, but with shit for brains and annoying personalities. I'm surprised they're going for a hideous beast so soon.

Blogger JG July 14, 2019 8:25 AM  

Bond as a gay, black woman. Who the fuck would want to watch that?

What's next, fat Victoria's Secret models?

Oh, wait...

Blogger anorganicbear July 14, 2019 8:28 AM  

What sixteen year old doesn't want to be lectured about rape? I see them on their cell phones all the time looking up more content telling them how evil men are for raping.

Blogger Great White July 14, 2019 8:31 AM  

Good thing you're already well ahead of this with AH:Q. No idea if he's a ladykiller, but I'm sure audiences will be happy for a he that's actually a he once they're thoroughly disgusted with she-Bond, she-Hulk, she-Thor etc

Blogger ZammyPup July 14, 2019 8:32 AM  

Name’s Bond...Jane Bond.

Blogger Skyler the Weird July 14, 2019 8:34 AM  

They were thinking if only Brie Larson was English or Khaleesi were a bit Taller or Nell Carter were still alive.

Blogger Shimshon July 14, 2019 8:41 AM  

If Jackson Pollack were a genetic engineer instead of a "modern artist," Lashana Lynch would be one of his products.

Blogger Hieroglyph July 14, 2019 8:42 AM  

I suspect there are a lot of, ah, diverse producers who would like nothing more than to make semi-porn with Daniel Craig getting intimate with various buff foreign spooks. I'm sure this has a niche audience, but it's not a Bond movie.

Mind, I already knew it would suck as soon as I saw 'feminist TV writer'. Propaganda hack, in other words.

Blogger The Only Cigar in the Box July 14, 2019 8:52 AM  

From the article: A movie insider said: 'There is a pivotal scene at the start of the film where M says 'Come in 007', and in walks Lashana who is black, beautiful and a woman.

Well, two of these three things are true.

Blogger T July 14, 2019 9:00 AM  

To tired, read that last line as "...writing a script for Rogal Dorn." I am like, heck yeah! Fortify that position. Then I read it correctly.

Blogger Steve Canyon July 14, 2019 9:04 AM  

Dr Ho. The Thug Who My Boo, Goldtooth, and the seminal effort, Thunderthighs with the requisite bathroom slipper wearing steatopygious villainess. No shortage of material for such a Bond.

Wayans brothers have been silent as of late. Perhaps a renaissance is due

Blogger Ford Prefect July 14, 2019 9:06 AM  

@1: Amy, I hope it was a joke. Unfortunately, these days, something that stupid could all too easily become a reality. Twenty years ago, suggesting that teenage boys might be allowed to use the girls' showers at school would have been a joke. Today, it's reality in too many places. And since James Bond is a privately owned work of fiction, changing that to fit the joke would be far easier than getting boys into the girls' locker room.

If it was a joke, the joker has a poor sense of humour and little to no common sense.

Blogger Dark Herald July 14, 2019 9:07 AM  

This is a Bond for the modern era who will appeal to a younger generation while sticking true to what we all expect in a Bond film,' the source added. 'There are spectacular chase sequences and fights..

Chase sequences and fights are not why we watched James Bond movies.

We watched James Bond because we wanted to be James Bond.

He is/was the ultimate Gary Stu.

Blogger Jack Ward July 14, 2019 9:08 AM  

If this is true and not a joke, I have seen my last bond film. I like Craig as actor and Bond. Man did most of his own stunts and took some real injuries as a result. I regarded the Craig bond films as the best and most realistic of the lot. Maybe its a joke.

Blogger Steve July 14, 2019 9:10 AM  

The titles under consideration are lit af tho:

MULATTO ROYALE
THE GIBS ARE NOT ENOUGH
DR. HELL NAW
YOU ONLY TWERK TWICE
GOLDENTOOF
FROM RWANDA WITH AIDS

Blogger binks webelf July 14, 2019 9:11 AM  

No trans or hermaphrodite Secret Agent 007? No wheelchair? Otherkin fuzzies? How very exclusive & 2000s. Tsk™.

Following @10. Shimshon, surely new Bond must be a surly Leslie Jones in a squirrel suit and a wheelchair.

Blogger Cloudbuster July 14, 2019 9:14 AM  

A movie insider said: 'There is a pivotal scene at the start of the film where M says 'Come in 007', and in walks Lashana who is black, beautiful and a woman.

She's pretty hideous-looking, in my opinion. More ritual humiliation of everything White and male.

Blogger Amy July 14, 2019 9:17 AM  

No trans or hermaphrodite Secret Agent 007?

Go look at her picture...

Blogger Amy July 14, 2019 9:19 AM  

@35 thanks...for...explaining the point, I guess?

Blogger Crew July 14, 2019 9:24 AM  

And the League of Conservative Voters seems to be conserved as well:

League of Conservation Voters withdraws from climate forum after 'offensive' Buttigieg op-ed in New Republic

Can't conserve anything.

At least it's two converged organization shooting at each other.

Blogger Dark Herald July 14, 2019 9:24 AM  

I did some quick checking. I didn't see anything about Barbara Broccoli stepping down as the head of EON and she has been very, very careful about protecting the Bond franchise, (AKA: the Broccoli family jewels).

This is looking like a feminist trying to gain as much entryism into the franchise as possible.

However, Phobe is one of the five writers listed for Bond 25. I suspect she was brought in to do punch up on what looks like a troubled script. And is trying to get away with as much SJWism as she can.

Blogger Duh-ave July 14, 2019 9:25 AM  

Instead of a suave manly agent seducing a beautiful villainess it will be a horse faced prk teaser making pencil-necked soy boys cry for the past sins of men. Wheee!

Blogger Chris Mallory July 14, 2019 9:28 AM  

Daniel Craig killed Bond. Craig is a black hole for charisma. I have never been able to stay awake during any movie he is in. Same goes for Tom Hardy. Cigar store Indians have better acting skills than either of those two.

Blogger Dark Herald July 14, 2019 9:29 AM  

Duh-ave wrote:Instead of a suave manly agent seducing a beautiful villainess it will be a horse faced prk teaser making pencil-necked soy boys cry for the past sins of men. Wheee!

Yes, they are talking about Robert Pattinson as the Craig's replacement.

Blogger Dark Herald July 14, 2019 9:32 AM  

Oh my god.

Blofeld is the villain in the new movie.

Blogger Roman Daoist July 14, 2019 9:32 AM  

This is a Bond for the modern era who will appeal to a younger generation while [blah blah blah].

I want the other eras back. This one's shit.

Blogger Steve July 14, 2019 9:35 AM  

Daniel Craig killed Bond. Craig is a black hole for charisma

Yarp. The only good thing he was in was STYLISH MASTURBATOR magazine.

Daniel Craig is the kind of actor Aldis would sell you, he's so bad he was sued by James Dyson for patent infringement because of how much he sucks.

Blogger Robert What? July 14, 2019 9:35 AM  

The satire of yesterday has become the reality of today, so who knows?

Blogger David Craig July 14, 2019 9:36 AM  

The actor who played Stephen Hawking for the last few decades is looking for work. He's white, but convincingly handicapped. He might be decent for the Bond role.

Blogger Dave July 14, 2019 9:48 AM  

Perhaps we'll have to start thinking about writing a script for Roland Dane....

I like your way of thinking but first let's have a few more issues of AH:Q released, please.


Great White wrote:Good thing you're already well ahead of this with AH:Q. No idea if he's a ladykiller,

You could make the argument Dane's a ladykiller from AH:Q Issue #1.

Blogger Damelon Brinn July 14, 2019 10:00 AM  

Enty at CDAN was stumping for Idris Elba as Bond a while back, and all the liberal commenters loudly proclaimed how reasonable and awesome it would be for Bond to be black. I'll bet that skipping Tyrone Bond and going straight to Lashiqua Bond won't excite them privately, but they'll manage to fake it.

Blogger VD July 14, 2019 10:04 AM  

I like your way of thinking but first let's have a few more issues of AH:Q released, please.

Yes, first things first. Although I will say the script for AH:Q #3 was jaw-dropping. It's that good.

Blogger David Ray Milton July 14, 2019 10:08 AM  

This is my favorite movie franchise and after seeing all of them, I think I will pass on this one. From the article, I am actually equally concerned about them possibly turning Bond into a woman pedastalizer as I am about the feminism and black-washing.

For those of you hating on Daniel Craig, you’re wrong. He has been an awesome Bond whose only equal was Connery. Craig is the only Bond to have an edge of sociopathy, which would be required in a character who is indifferent to women and kills people for a living.

Brosnan/Dalton were both pretty good.

Lazenby/Moore were both nothing special. While it’s been two decades since I’ve watch the films, I remember Moore’s films as being the most cartoonish.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan July 14, 2019 10:20 AM  

Moore knew it as a joke as Taki informs us, but that version did give us good ol' Louisiana sheriff and Jane Seymour.

Blogger Doktor Jeep July 14, 2019 10:22 AM  

Hyphenated last name.

Blogger Daniel July 14, 2019 10:28 AM  

"he'll"????

They gendered-blendered their own bender.

Blogger Ominous Cowherd July 14, 2019 10:42 AM  

Steve Canyon wrote:... the seminal effort, Thunderthighs ...

Semen and thunderthighs don't go together.

Blogger Damelon Brinn July 14, 2019 10:54 AM  

Looks like they don't have the guts to literally make Bond a black woman. She's playing another character who is given the 007 designation for some reason. So they're trying to keep their options open. If it works, they go forward with more movies about Lashiqua Jones, Double-O Seven. If it bombs, they can go back to making James Bond movies. They could even try to run both in parallel. Either way, they get to virtue-signal like a boss and be the toast of the entertainment media for the next several months.

Blogger CostelloM July 14, 2019 11:00 AM  

I'm surprised they are passing on this golden opportunity to really SJW this up. In the opening scene have Daniel Craig fully transition into a woman - full Caitlyn Jenner. The main plot should be who centered around who is buggering who in Spectre and the evil white man plot to create an AIDS PART 2 or such.

Blogger P Glenrothes July 14, 2019 11:02 AM  

I can't wait to not see this movie.

Blogger Steve July 14, 2019 11:14 AM  

Sean Connery is and always will be the best Bond - iconic Alpha Male charisma and perfect timing (the franchise could only get worse from the late 60's onwards).

Lazenby might've been good if he didn't waste his turn doing a poor impression of Connery.

Moore was better than the material he was given, and managed to stamp his own charmingly ironic personality on the character even though the costume designers kept dressing him up as a sex tourist.

Dalton was too intense and the wrong physical type to play Bond, he should've been cast as a baddie who was plotting to put lead in the water supply to turn everybody Welsh or something.

Brosnan was too blandly metrosexual and appeared in one of the worst Bond films of all time. In a movie where an evil ginger turns out to be a secret Chinaman from North Korea, Bond drives an invisible car and uses a parachute to windsurf on N64-quality CGI waves, the most implausible bit was the script pretending that caterwauling song-shrike and sentient STD "Madonna" was physically attractive.

Daniel Craig is the OW MY BALLS of Bonds. He combines the excitement of a Bank Holiday Monday at a garden centre with the in-laws, with the charisma of a damp urinal cake.

It's as if he was cast by gays and/or women, because he has precisely none of the heterosexual male fantasy aspect Bond is supposed to have. Men didn't like Bond because of his washboard abs (Connery wore a wig and had an ice pack affixed to his Dad bod to try to make him look presentable for shirtless scenes), but because he was cool and witty and could hold his drink while driving fast cars and shagging faster women.

Craig comes across more like the sort of bloke who models cardigans for a mid-range clothing catalogue, and probably voted Remain. Sad! Gay!

Blogger Ingot9455 July 14, 2019 11:20 AM  

Now, if they used the gay black woman as a false protagonist a la Neal Stephenson in The Diamond Age, that would make for perfection.

They wouldn't do it in a million years.

Blogger HouellebecqGurl July 14, 2019 11:30 AM  

Despite the high grosses most American movies usually pull in Asia, these negro-centric ones do the worst. They aren't just trying to gas light us, folks.

The Spy Who Said Bix Nood Mufugga

is my choice for title.

Blogger HouellebecqGurl July 14, 2019 11:31 AM  

Yes. This is the plan.

Blogger HouellebecqGurl July 14, 2019 11:39 AM  

No. Craig is the opposite of a panty wetter. You are forgetting that is an important part of the character.
Dalton & Brosnan were the best at it, but def deserved better written material in which to Bond.

Blogger HouellebecqGurl July 14, 2019 11:40 AM  

(((Jane Seymour))). Fixed it for you.

Blogger Redbeard July 14, 2019 11:43 AM  

There's something I don't trust when I see someone has two last names put together. Something strange about it, something untrustworthy.

Blogger Starboard July 14, 2019 11:54 AM  

Nah. They won't transition Bond Caitlyn fashion, they'll retire him the way they've retired all the white male action heros. They'll make him fat, old, and drunk, with tears in his eyes, gratefully handing the mantle to a strong black woman.

Blogger Starboard July 14, 2019 11:55 AM  

On the upside for the male audience, if the new 007 is a lesbian, there shoild still be Bond girls after a fashion.

Blogger Hammerli 280 July 14, 2019 12:05 PM  

We'll see. There's probably a decent book to be written using the Bond movies as a series of cultural time capsules. Every time the role was recast, there were changes made - and those changes reflect the social changes. The Connery Bond was forthrightly sexual, a true Alpha Male. The Moore Bond was a Faux Alpha, a trickster relying on smooth talk instead of animal magnetism.

Craig? Actually, I think he comes very close to the Bond of the books. A hard-edged killer...but there is a soft underbelly to him.

Having said that, I'd dearly love to see a decent treatment of Matt Helm. Fascinating character. Although much like Horatio Hornblower, the real drama is the internal mental monologue. Helm is a guardian of a society that he cannot be part of, a society that would despise him if they knew he existed. Being one of the Rough Men who stand watch and ward can be a hard, lonely life.

Anonymous Anonymous July 14, 2019 12:10 PM  

Amethyst Dominica wrote:What is this recent SJW convergence but the Left playing out that act of horror symbolically? Taking something that their political enemies enjoyed and revered, killing it, and parading the decapitated remains before them in triumph?



Best elucidation of this kind of crap that I've seen yet.

Blogger M Cephas July 14, 2019 12:10 PM  

Daniel Craig appeared in a James Bond themed advertisement a little while back, dressed in drag, to speak out against the gender wage gap. I haven't cared to watch him as James Bond since.

Blogger FUBARwest July 14, 2019 12:18 PM  

I believe James Bond has entered into public domain, just incase you guys have any room on your plate with the 3-5 movies you're already working on.

Blogger Skyler the Weird July 14, 2019 12:46 PM  

They really wanted a spin of of the Halle Berry character Jinx Johnson from Die another Day but found there was no Market for one.

An aside, searching for the movie on Bing to find the character's name, the fourth hit was about Emmit Till. Sailor is right.

Blogger pyrrhus July 14, 2019 12:56 PM  

Sean Connery and Roger Moore were the best Bonds, while Daniel Craig has no personality, which in itself showed that the franchise was headed in the wrong direction...

Blogger pyrrhus July 14, 2019 12:59 PM  

Foreign box office is usually several times US for Bond films...I think a black woman would cause a screeching halt to that trend...

Blogger Warunicorn July 14, 2019 1:09 PM  

At this point, if they could get away with turning Godzilla into some transsexual non-White paraplegic, they'd do it.

Blogger Dangeresque July 14, 2019 1:16 PM  

004.2

Blogger R.G. Camara July 14, 2019 1:23 PM  

A few thoughts:

1. I've liked Craig as Bond. Casino Royale---his first film, and also a reboot of the series--was a surprsingly traditional Bond film. Bond is aggressive and ruthless, and his female love interest (Vesper Lind) is not a spy and utterly incompetent and not a tough grrrll at all and everything must be explained to her--and she breaks down weeping when she is forced to shoot someone. She's a woman caught in a love triangle who is manipulating Bond but falls for him in the process and commits suicide in shame at betraying him.

That's all very trad Bond.

2. That said, the rebooted series was clearly pozzed. A female M (a holdover from the Pierce Brosnan bonds), a wispy gay Q (it seems the only kind of good white male scientist that can be portrayed in movies these days must be a smug homosexual), the black Moneypenny (whom we have in a subplot of a movie having a minor romance with Bond), and the Jaivier Bardem Bond movie where Bardem and Craig play gay chicken as Bardem rubs Craig's leg. And then there was the Bond movie where Blofeld returns and Bond must save his love interest because she's his "only chance at real love."

All the films were clearly infected. Heck, the Opening Ceremonies to the 2012 London Olympics showed this as well--- Craig (as Bond) shows up in the midst of a race-mixing rave "celebration" of Britain and does a really pathetic comedy sketch with the Queen (!!!), thus giving his seal of approval to the madness.

3. It seems the big studios are really going to keep coming with this nonsense and destroy all white male franchises. They managed to do the impossible with this crap---make the Star Wars franchise unprofitable and make a Marvel movie that nearly flopped---and they press forward. Good on Vox for realizing the money being left on the table and jumping in. Once there is an adequate opposition that is not-pozzed, Hollywood will only be able to rely on its monopoly power to stay around----and that might expose their jugular (anti-trust).

4. Between this and the black little mermaid, I can foresee a day coming when they start punishing men for *not* masturbating to black actresses.

Blogger Crew July 14, 2019 1:27 PM  

I see Disney has a new release of The Lion King out?

Did they turn Scar into a lesbian raccoon?

Or did they make the King a prancing Queen?

Blogger JAG July 14, 2019 1:29 PM  

God Emperor Memes wrote:What will her film be called?

"GoldenTeeth"

"Thunderballer"

"The Spy Who Dindu Nuffin"



"Nappy Ass Weave-raker"

Blogger Jeff Weimer July 14, 2019 2:18 PM  

She isn't even that attractive.

Blogger God Emperor Memes July 14, 2019 2:31 PM  

Looks like Wesley Snipes in "To Wong Foo"

Blogger God Emperor Memes July 14, 2019 2:38 PM  

You haven't seen "Bronson", I take it?

Blogger God Emperor Memes July 14, 2019 2:48 PM  

"She isn't even *slightly* attractive"
FIFY

Blogger God Emperor Memes July 14, 2019 2:50 PM  

"Dr. Ho"
Excellent.

Blogger Killua July 14, 2019 3:11 PM  

At this rate Robocop is going to become a smartphone, and it will run solely on green energy.

Blogger Done with it all July 14, 2019 3:19 PM  

You have to destroy the West's icons to destroy the West. Bond is the iconic masculine Western Male and must be destroyed

Blogger Garuna July 14, 2019 3:46 PM  

Won't even pirate.

Blogger Richard Martel July 14, 2019 4:20 PM  

007? Seven beers isn't enough to make her even remotely attractive.

Blogger Sicilian switchblade July 14, 2019 5:30 PM  

While we're at it, lets ditch the supercars and put her in a Subaru wagon. (We gotta have room for all those rescue dogs!)

Blogger tublecane July 14, 2019 5:53 PM  

They already did Bond having to deal with P.C. in Goldeneye, as I recall. Though not really, because it was still Bond.

Blogger tublecane July 14, 2019 6:02 PM  

"thanks to the intervention of feminist t.v. writer..."

No. Feminist t.v. writers do not intervene to alter cinematic mega-productions. Why even put it like that?

Why are we assigning political modifiers to screenwriters? Or is "feminist t.v. writer" a genre thing, like "comedienne" or "tragedist?"

Blogger Hammerli 280 July 14, 2019 6:24 PM  

The irony is that Curmudgeon Bond is VERY much the way the character is written in the books. He's a traditionalist, and just a bit cranky. Which you can leverage for a script.

Blogger tublecane July 14, 2019 6:54 PM  

@10- I thought you were exaggerating, so I looked her up. And you are, but not by that much. She is dark, not very feminine, and has this dumb, mouth-breather face in every picture. Don't they teach these people how to put on a persona anymore? Isn't there a photographer or director to shout "stop looking like a retard!"

I see she stars in some kind of Romeo and Juliet remake as Rosaline, the one Romeo was into before Juliet. Don't care at this point why an Italian girl is black. I merely wonder what it is casting directors see in these people. Because it would be one thing if it were Halle Berry, for instance. But this Leslie Jonesian thing is just off-putting.

That's the point, though, isn't it? I should have learned by now they thrive on offending normal people.

@46- Whatever he is as actor or movie star, Craig was wrong for Bond because he should be playing bad guys. More specifically, toughs. Because that's what he looks like.

Craig doesn't look like Bond, who is posh, suave, and bursting with charm. In Craig's first Bond movie they had him crashing through drywall chasing a nimble parkour terrorist, and that's what he was: Hulk Bond.

The only thing I ever remember not minding him in was his Sword of Honor miniseries. In which he was once again miscast as cuckold soldier Guy Crouchback. However, I already had a solid sense of the character from reading the Waugh books, so I guess I just ignored him.

Blogger Terrific July 14, 2019 7:00 PM  

I'm retired so I have a lot of free time. I recently watched a Marvel series that was aired on ABC called, "The Gifted". It only lasted two season and halfway through the second season I knew exactly why. Every SINGLE ONE of the male "powered persons" was an ABSOLUTE BETA! And they didn't even try to hide it. These men had absolutely NO sex appeal! None!

On top of that, every single "powered" woman was ultimately a "take-charge, kick-ass, don't need no man but I still love him SO much" heroine! It was halfway through the second season that I notice the women were initiating ALL of the action. THEY were the driving forces, both for good and evil. Every action the men took was either at the behest of a woman OR a disaster. Watching the rest of the season was like watching a slow train wreck with me caring less and less hour by hour. When one of the betamale characters made the ultimate sacrifice in the last minute of the series, it was only after his wife agreed it was the right thing for him to do.

Oh, and the major villain? A "powered" woman. Even the human villain was secretly TAKING ORDERS FROM the "powered" villainess!

I later watched the first episode of a series that only lasted one season, called "Intelligence". A nice setup for an action/adventure series. But I immediately noticed the same thing!

The hero answered to a woman, who was the head of the super-secret cyber-intelligence organization, who replaced a woman. She combs the countryside for six months looking for someone to "protect" their supersecret microchip which, unfortunately, just happens to be implanted in the head of a MAN!

After searching for six months, it turns out THE BEST PERSON to PROTECT this incredibly strong, incredibly gifted, special forces, multiple silver star recipient from all the bad guys out to get him is a TINY little secret service agent who just HAPPENS to be be the youngest PERSON ever appointed to the President's detail! And BOY is she SMART and STRONG and TALENTED!

Later in the story, when the Head has to meet the Head of a major branch of Chinese Intelligence, guess what? It's ALSO a woman!

I can't bear to watch another episode but it is SO CLEAR why it was cancelled after only one season. WHO do they think WATCHES adventure spy thrillers? Oh! And because these woman are all super-competent, although they are of course attractive. NONE of them is presented SEXY. Something that just MIGHT appeal to any young males watching this show.

It's a slow death when you deny biology and red pill sexual dynamics.

Blogger Robert Schecter July 14, 2019 7:16 PM  

George Lazenby must be happy he'll no longer be the worst James Bond

Blogger Meanoldbasterd July 14, 2019 7:27 PM  

Seconded, they don't care

Blogger Meanoldbasterd July 14, 2019 7:35 PM  

😆 it took me a moment

Blogger Meng Greenleaf July 14, 2019 7:50 PM  

Jamie Bond 0047

Blogger Crew July 14, 2019 7:54 PM  

@103: I think you meant Jaime Bond 00 Cinco de Mayo

Blogger Crew July 14, 2019 7:56 PM  

It's about time we had a squat, swarthy Jaime Bond!

Blogger Done with it all July 14, 2019 8:31 PM  

Time for Juan Bondriguez...

Blogger Damelon Brinn July 14, 2019 9:31 PM  

She isn't even *slightly* attractive

Which can't be an accident. Surely they could have found a Halle Berry type that a lot of white men could find attractive and then go overboard about to show their color blindness. So it's one of two things: A) they want to force men to say she's attractive knowing she's not ("There are four lights!"), or B) they don't want her to be attractive because that means feminine and romance, and they want her to be too mannish for that. Think Ghostbusters, when they dressed the women up shlubby and made them even less attractive than normal, as if to take away the one thing that would make people watch a movie starring women: romance.

Blogger God Emperor Memes July 14, 2019 10:25 PM  

Kerry Washington would have been an understandable choice. She's very pretty, even though she's a typical chip-on-shoulder Blacktress.

Blogger God Emperor Memes July 14, 2019 10:28 PM  

Oh, and it is DEFINITELY that they want us to pretend that we find drag-Wesley Snipes as attractive as, say, Elizabeth Montgomery.

Blogger tublecane July 14, 2019 11:08 PM  

@108- Washington is probably mixed, or at least her attractive parts are. Has to be in her 40s by now, too.

Blogger JAG July 14, 2019 11:55 PM  

A few more:

"McDonald's Royale"

"In Her Ghetto Queen's Section Eight"

"A View to a Drive By"

"License to Steal"

Blogger linesy July 15, 2019 1:56 AM  

Coming soon!

Tom Cruise is 'Malcolm X'

Queen Latifah is 'Anne Frank'

Jackie Chan is Queen Elizabeth I

Bond has been done as a franchise for 20 years as they watered it down to the point of nothingness. Now its completely DOA. This is a rub your nose in it moment.

I refuse to go the movies anymore. To hell with Hollywood, drop them like a stone. Luckily I don't have a TV, so when the BBC lavishes 100s of hours of their forced tax propaganda machine on it, I won't hear a second of it.

Blogger Roger Hill July 15, 2019 6:01 AM  

Wait just a cotton pickin minute! I thought cultural appropriation was a no no!

Blogger Daniel July 15, 2019 8:45 AM  

Loled hard here

Blogger Daniel July 15, 2019 8:48 AM  

When your etnic group can give you free money you don't care about this

Blogger Daniel July 15, 2019 8:49 AM  

Technically, she is not bond

Blogger Daniel July 15, 2019 8:50 AM  

Well, I rooted for the first order so

Blogger John Bradley July 15, 2019 9:51 AM  

they want to force men to say she's attractive knowing she's not ("There are four lights!")

Just like how Obama's "wife" kept showing up on "100 Most Beautiful Women" lists for eight years... obvious weiner-bulge be damned!

Blogger Killua July 15, 2019 1:17 PM  

@93 Maybe if you shake them.

Blogger Ronbear July 16, 2019 9:56 AM  

Still waiting for the Black dawrf trans-manbody-woman Tintin.

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