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Thursday, November 28, 2019

Everyone sees through conservatives now

The Babylon Bee goes for the conservative jugular:
Local conservative man Patrick Porkers thrashed liberals Tuesday for supporting policies that he himself will support in just five years.

From medicare for all and a wealth tax to free college and canceling student debt, the conservative systematically dismantled every policy liberals support, though he's going to cave on every single one of these just a few years from now.

The man says he's staunchly opposed to how fast progressives are changing things and prefers the conservative approach of changing the exact same things but just on a little bit of a delay.

"Liberals are ruining this country," he said, shaking both his head and his fist. "They go and put forth all these radical ideas that will destroy the fabric of our society. Sure, I end up conceding ground to the libs and supporting policies I would have found appalling just five years ago. But I've got to be the voice of reason here and caution everyone against the very ideas I will come to agree with a short time from now."
The important thing is that no one can call him racist. No one would be happier to vote for a black conservative than him! No one! And the second most important thing is that no one can call him anti-Semitic either. He not only believes in the Judeochristian values upon which America and Western civilization were founded, they fly an Israeli flag in the sanctuary at his church!

His virtue is impeccable.

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55 Comments:

Blogger Mr.MantraMan November 28, 2019 8:03 AM  

No one loves Judeo-christ more than me.

Blogger Longtime Lurker November 28, 2019 8:10 AM  

BB for the win!

Blogger YehudaL November 28, 2019 8:24 AM  

they fly an Israeli flag in the sanctuary at his church!

Ahem, is that flag size regulation compliant?
Raciss

Blogger Miguel November 28, 2019 8:29 AM  

This post is not Who We Are!

Blogger Shane Bradman November 28, 2019 8:35 AM  

Once again, satire is more true than "news". "Conservatism" is liberalism on a 5 year lag. There is nothing in common between American conservatism and the traditional British right wing which stood for God, King and Country. Anyone that still identifies themselves as a conservative is late to the party or they're not on our side.

Blogger Jill November 28, 2019 9:12 AM  

Kanye for president!

Blogger Weak November 28, 2019 9:15 AM  

"the important thing is that no one can call him racist." True dat fam. Not being racist is the most important sacrament in the cuckservative church.

Babylon Bee is a looking glass to see news 6-18 months in the future.

Blogger Section 8A November 28, 2019 9:21 AM  

I'll comment in just a minute, but I have to adjust my crooked bowtie first.

Blogger Sterling Pilgrim November 28, 2019 9:29 AM  

Rings true for the Churchians as well. Southern Baptist Leadership is just Unitarianism with a slow ping.
To the SDL, Dread Ilk, VFM, Bears, Reprehensibles, Unauthorized, and young Groypers, Happy Thanksgiving.

Blogger Doktor Jeep November 28, 2019 9:48 AM  

So they had Matt Bracken at the mic on Infowars the other day. Back when I was on Facebook years ago we were friends as such were also other friends. In reality we were more acquainted even before Facebook.
He used the term "Judeo-Christian". I cursed out loud and dropped my wrench.

Blogger Al K. Annossow November 28, 2019 9:48 AM  

What oh what would we do if reality were not so funny! Sometimes laughing is the only way to bear the truth about ourselves.

Blogger dienw November 28, 2019 9:51 AM  

The Progressive train stops for nobody; and that guy on the tracks screeching "Stop!" is just a grease spot on the rails making the train run smoother.

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all.

Blogger thechortling November 28, 2019 9:52 AM  

Maybe Boomers were mission-ized in the 70s ... they're now Judeo-Krishnas?

Blogger dienw November 28, 2019 9:53 AM  

10. Doktor Jeep
Is the wrench OK?

Blogger RC November 28, 2019 9:54 AM  

He used the term "Judeo-Christian".

Bracken will figure it out.

Blogger dienw November 28, 2019 9:55 AM  

thechortling wrote:Maybe Boomers were mission-ized in the 70s ... they're now Judeo-Krishnas?

Stop clicking the "cricket."

Blogger David Ray Milton November 28, 2019 9:59 AM  

Conservatism = Muh Individual Rights = Protecting Sinful Passions = Destruction Of Home = Chaos

Or for short:

Conservatism = Destruction

Blogger Skyler the Weird November 28, 2019 10:00 AM  

He thinks he was voting for a black Conservative when he voted for Obama.

Blogger Toris November 28, 2019 10:03 AM  

For conservatives "thou art the future, irised, sun-crowned, glowing". Conserving the progression toward their new world brotherhood.

Blogger Toris November 28, 2019 10:10 AM  

Ooh, I know you. Now if only that "Chris + Rite" (?) chap would post here (if he isn't already).

Blogger mrpinks November 28, 2019 10:19 AM  

Is there flame retardant on that flag in the church? Write it up in the hazard register if its not... Safety first.

Blogger Raker_T November 28, 2019 10:20 AM  

It was said here, "Life is painful, the narrative eases the pain". One reason I like that is because I thought it was like Isaiah 28:15.
Isa 28:15 Because ye have said, We have made a covenant with death, and with hell are we at agreement; when the overflowing scourge shall pass through, it shall not come unto us: for we have made lies our refuge, and under falsehood have we hid ourselves:
The other morning, I decided to look at the passage in Matthew Henry's Commentary and whoa, get a load of this. Talk about political operatives, for the sake of space, I've omitted his first explanation,see #2:
      The prophet, having reproved those that made a jest of the word of God, here goes on to reprove those that made a jest of the judgments of God, and set them at defiance; for he is a jealous God, and will not suffer either his ordinances or his providences to be brought into contempt. He addressed himself to the scornful men who ruled in Jerusalem, who were the magistrates of the city, v. 14. It is bad with a people when their thrones of judgment become the seats of the scornful, when rulers are scorners; but that the rulers of Jerusalem should be men of such a character, that they should make light of God's judgments and scorn to take notice of the tokens of his displeasure, is very sad. Who will be mourners in Zion if they are scorners? Observe,
 
Or, 2. Those things which should be lies and falsehood to the enemy, who was flagellum Dei--the scourge of God, the overflowing scourge; they would secure themselves by imposing upon the enemy with their stratagems of war, or their feigned submissions in treaties of peace. The rest of the cities of Judah were taken because they made an obstinate defence; but the rulers of Jerusalem hope to succeed better. They think themselves greater politicians than those of the country towns; they will compliment the king of Assyria with a promise to surrender their city, or to become tributaries to him, with a purpose at the same time to shake off his yoke as soon as the danger is over, not caring though they be found liars to him, as the expression is, Deut. xxxiii. 29. Note, Those put a cheat upon themselves that think to gain their point by putting cheats upon those they deal with. Those that pursue their designs by trick and fraud, by mean and paltry shifts, may perhaps compass them, but cannot expect comfort in them. Honesty is the best policy. But such refuges as these are those driven to that depart from God, and throw themselves out of his protection.















































Blogger Doktor Jeep November 28, 2019 10:28 AM  

I hope so.
I have friends who were the inspiration for characters in some of Matt's books. But I don't think they are onto the insidiousness of this Judeo-Christian lie either. It's very ingrained.
But that people are slowly catching on, without any kind of civil war or strife, surely makes the hats nervous.

Blogger Breviloquist November 28, 2019 10:30 AM  

Principled Fighters don't take the deal.

We must raise our own champions.

Blogger KPKinSunnyPhiladelphia November 28, 2019 10:38 AM  

Yep.

As I have mentioned before, our friends -- and, really, they are our friends, kinda sorta, more or less -- at Instapundit have fallen our of favor here on the great Vox Popoli blog, but these former and perhaps somewhat current friends (hard for this poor mind to tell, anyway) are right about this one important thing:

Babylon Bee is America's NEW Paper Of Record.

Blogger rcocean November 28, 2019 10:46 AM  

Hilarious - and true. We all know David French Ben Shapiro and Kevin Williamson will be making "The conservative Case for infanticide and medicare-for-all" in 2023. Reasonable Conservatives have to be "reasonable" according to the Left. So as the Left, moves further Left, so does the "Reasonable Conservative".

Blogger rcocean November 28, 2019 10:52 AM  

I finally stopped being confused by Conservative Inc. when I realized their REAL audience, isn't the average conservative, but the Liberal MSM editors/publishers they work for (or want to work).

Blogger Ominous Cowherd November 28, 2019 10:52 AM  

Local conservative man Patrick Porkers thrashed liberals Tuesday for supporting policies that he himself will support in just five years.
Didn't the lag used to be a lot longer? I used to say ``conservatives are your granny's liberals,'' but they cave so much faster now.

Blogger Beau November 28, 2019 11:08 AM  

OT, or not

The men of the Order of Saint Possenti extend greetings you enjoy a blessed day of Thanksgiving to our Creator. We pray you and yours are blessed, comforted, enlightened, emboldened, and strengthened as you fight the good fight of faith. May your day be in His presence. Amen

Dominus vobiscum

Contact us at orderofsaintpossenti@gmail.com

Blogger SciVo November 28, 2019 12:19 PM  

KPKinSunnyPhiladelphia wrote:Babylon Bee is America's NEW Paper Of Record.

And generally our friends at Instapundit are technically correct, even when they refrain from stating a harsh truth.

Blogger Joe November 28, 2019 1:09 PM  

"Kanye for president!"

If it is him or Oprah, we will know just how rigged the clown show is.

Blogger Korbin Ransley November 28, 2019 1:50 PM  

Thanksgiving Gravy. 8^)

Blogger The Lab Manager November 28, 2019 1:51 PM  

Conservatards unite! It's funny to me watching Newt Gingrinch, a douche who is smart no doubt but never produced a damn thing of value defend Trump. I don't think he really likes Trump, but he knows which the winds blow and is the reason why we are at this point given he and his colleagues like Dole, Kemp, and others in that bunch I can't remember right now sat around and grifted the system while talking like libertarians once in a while. They would sucker working America with if you just vote for us with a majority, we will stop abortion and not chip away at the Bill of Rights. We know what a crock of s*&* that was.

Blogger Brick Hardslab November 28, 2019 3:57 PM  

Thanks Beau, blessed Thanksgiving to you and the order as well.

Blogger ace November 28, 2019 4:18 PM  

One thing I am thankful is that there are currently conservatives who are lagging our host rather than globohomo.

Blogger widlast washere November 28, 2019 6:32 PM  

Reminds me of something I read 20 or so years ago:
"Liberals are trying to drag us into socialism and the conservatives are just trying to slow the process down."

Blogger Pathfinderlight November 28, 2019 6:43 PM  

The US is in a fire need of a debt jubilee where all debts are cancelled. That would help set the stage for a cultural recovery. Unfortunately such a thing would likely be a result of resurgent cultural strength, rather than a cause.

Blogger Karen took the Kids November 28, 2019 6:55 PM  

Babylon Bee get it.

Blogger Chris Mallory November 28, 2019 7:23 PM  

George Wallace said it first and best back in 1966.

Blogger Ian Stein November 29, 2019 1:18 AM  

Jews are "always" at the center of the narrative for a reason. Wake up Jews!

Blogger Thad Tuiol November 29, 2019 1:40 AM  

@39 "George Wallace said it first and best back in 1966."

Robert Lewis Dabney said it first and best back in 1866.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine November 29, 2019 2:31 AM  

"Didn't the lag used to be a lot longer? I used to say ``conservatives are your granny's liberals,'' but they cave so much faster now."

The Conservative metric has changed from "duration of causes conserved" to "volume of causes once conserved". Thus, the new Cons are the better Cons.

Blogger NRx November 29, 2019 5:22 AM  

"The US is in a fire need of a debt jubilee where all debts are cancelled. That would help set the stage for a cultural recovery. Unfortunately such a thing would likely be a result of resurgent cultural strength, rather than a cause."

I'm all for abolishing the Federal Reserve system but under the current system it would literally cause catastrophic deflation also it would be unfair to those who didn't borrow and would then own homes scot free.

What should be done with college debt is to make it dischargable in bankruptcy, with all the cost being transferred onto our enemies the universities.

Blogger JACIII November 29, 2019 6:22 AM  

NRx wrote:"The US is in a fire need of a debt jubilee where all debts are cancelled. That would help set the stage for a cultural recovery. Unfortunately such a thing would likely be a result of resurgent cultural strength, rather than a cause."

I'm all for abolishing the Federal Reserve system but under the current system it would literally cause catastrophic deflation also it would be unfair to those who didn't borrow and would then own homes scot free.

-snip-

"unfair"? Screw your "unfair" while the millennials go childless and slaving for a bunch of NY jews for the benefit of a bunch of commie professors and grifting administrators.

Turn the entire thing upside down and sort it out later.

Blogger HouellebecqGurl November 29, 2019 7:52 AM  

I remember way back 2 yrs ago when several Instapunditers wrote a couple of sad eulogies for that pedo accepting, flesh peddling degenerate (((Hugh Hefner))).
I can't deal w/Lolbertarians and NeoCons and that makes up their entire reading roster.
I'd much rather read Takimag or Unz.

Blogger KPKinSunnyPhiladelphia November 29, 2019 10:25 AM  

HouellebecqGurl wrote:I remember way back 2 yrs ago when several Instapunditers wrote a couple of sad eulogies for that pedo accepting, flesh peddling degenerate (((Hugh Hefner))).

I can't deal w/Lolbertarians and NeoCons and that makes up their entire reading roster.


"I can't deal with..." Quite the feminine locution.

Do you know what the good news is? (Or one sort of good news?)

You.....don't.....have......to.

Blogger kmbr November 29, 2019 10:43 AM  

**So they had Matt Bracken **

I kinda like listening to Bracken but his boomer mentality is so entrenched in his brain he just can't take that final step to where he needs to go to make his circle complete.

Blogger VD November 29, 2019 11:16 AM  

it would be unfair to those who didn't borrow and would then own homes scot free.

It's not about you. Get over yourself.

Blogger Dyspeptic November 29, 2019 2:00 PM  

It can't be said too often - The only thing conservatives conserve is the victories of their enemies.

About InstaPundit, I believe it is now owned by PJ Media which is as Neocucky as it gets. That alone makes it unreadable but it's also mostly stupid filler material and click bait for websites that are completely worthless.

Blogger NRx November 29, 2019 4:11 PM  

""unfair"? Screw your "unfair" while the millennials go childless and slaving for a bunch of NY jews for the benefit of a bunch of commie professors and grifting administrators."

My proposal (something basically the same was proposed by Tucker Carlson) is literally focused on screwing the colleges. The millenials economic problem is college debt.

The problem with childlessness is more a problem with women having too many rights and too high status then anything economic, lots of dirt poor countries have high fertility. Economic incentives will not restore white fertility unless you crush female status preferably by rolling back their LEGAL status to what it was before the 1850s when they were perpetual legal minors subject legally to their father's and then their husbands. This is even more a coup complete problem then debt.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash November 29, 2019 4:13 PM  

NRx wrote:I'm all for abolishing the Federal Reserve system but under the current system it would literally cause catastrophic deflation also it would be unfair to those who didn't borrow and would then own homes scot free.
"Fair" is a meaningless concept outside certain narrowly defined cultural contexts. Anglo-Saxons value "fairness". Celts value a different sort of fairness. Nobody else gives a rip about it.
The (((vampires))) latched on to your jugular would like you to refrain from detaching them out of "fairness".

Blogger James November 29, 2019 11:15 PM  

A Debt Jubilee post would make for a very interesting topic, particuliarly with Voxs economics acumen. What would the ramifications be? Would be great reading.

Blogger Katechon November 30, 2019 12:15 AM  

"Matt Bracken"
He's closer to Ann Barnhartd than the so-called conservatives. I haven't read him nor see him for a long time, but I did read his books in 2011. He's not fake. He might have fallen for the judeochristian heresy, but he's not duplicitous nor a follower.
Anyway, I'm glad he's well

Blogger Avalanche November 30, 2019 7:30 AM  

@40 Jews are "always" at the center of the narrative for a reason. Wake up Jews!"

What do you mean "wake up"? Jews are the CREATORS and nurturers of the narrative! It's THEIR narrative, their weapon against us.

Waiting hopefully for 110.

Blogger KPKinSunnyPhiladelphia November 30, 2019 10:34 AM  

Dyspeptic wrote:

About InstaPundit, I believe it is now owned by PJ Media which is as Neocucky as it gets.


Really? On the spectrum of "neocucky" (get that neologism into OED as fast as possible!! They will listen to you, I promise), it's far behind, say, the National Review or the Bulwark.

But, hey, fine distinctions are "meh," now aren't they?

Do let us know the results of your purity test.

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