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Friday, December 20, 2019

Mailvox: a gamma's confession

A gamma explains the nature of gamma spiraling:
You were right at identifying Gamma in me, I knew it at the time, but I couldn't help myself. It was an outburst. So I apologize for coming at you with the wrong motivations and for being driven by my ego.

It's interesting how Gamma behavior undercuts and discredits the Gamma's own interests.

I find in myself I can start out honestly, but I get set off by a spiraling imagination which overtakes me and makes me emotional. It causes me to instantly hate anyone who slights me because of fear and weakness, and not being firmly grounded in forgiveness, love and God. I interpret their actions in the worst possible way, and hair-trigger react to it into a murderously aggressive stance. There is always a partial awareness of the unfoundedness of this overreaction, but it is a survival instinct like an abused dog lashes out, based in the emotional unsteadiness and mindlessness which sweeps me off my feet. Shame and knowing subconsciously that I have lost myself piles on more emotional pain which forces me deeper into committing into that state.
Ego te absolvo. This honest admission and description of the process illustrates the fundamental lie of the typical gamma posturing. Their pretense at superiority is intrinsically false, and the fact that those of us who understand the SSH know it only makes them spiral all the faster.

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39 Comments:

Blogger Rattlesnake_Kid December 20, 2019 11:10 AM  

Step one is admitting you have a problem. Cheers, recovering Gamma.

Blogger Kallmunz December 20, 2019 11:13 AM  

Good for him, he has started the journey to a more fulfilling life. When you think about the worst time in your life, down and depressed, feeling like the world is against you, it's horrifying to think that there are people who spend every day like that.

Blogger CM December 20, 2019 11:20 AM  

Don't tell the feminists, but that sounds like me on pms.

It's a little better since having kids, but still feels like something in my head broke.

Blogger rognuald December 20, 2019 11:24 AM  

The SDL cleanses and absolves the sins of gamma.

Blogger RobertDWood December 20, 2019 11:25 AM  

A good model for a gamma looking to move into healing is Aaron from the book of Exodus. He's the mouthpiece for Moses because he can present and speak well in Egypt. Then chapter 32 he blames the people and anything else except himself for steering Israel into idolatry. But he evolves and matures into a genuine high priest who himself becomes a mediator and champion of the people before God's wrath. He grows from being only about himself and his appearance of glory to a genuine concern for people and relationship with the Father.

Blogger Balkan Yankee December 20, 2019 11:26 AM  

Unless and until his illusions are shattered, as in this case, there is no hope for the gamma.

Blogger Balam December 20, 2019 11:35 AM  

''Shame and knowing subconsciously that I have lost myself piles on more emotional pain which forces me deeper into committing into that state.''

I recall Vox saying that something like this, the shame, was why sjws double down so often in the book of the same title. In theory it means that the whole impeachment nonsense, even going so far as saying they want to simultaneously impeach Pence, will continue to spiral as the emotional pain piles on. We may not have seen the craziest acts yet since the arrests haven't even begun.

Blogger Mike Lasater December 20, 2019 11:36 AM  

The first step to recovery is recognizing that you have a problem. Sounds like there’s hope for him.

Blogger R Webfoot December 20, 2019 11:36 AM  

I think this is because Gammas understand we're low on the hierarchy, so there is more of an implied threat of social attack. Rather like a skittish prey animal who believes there might be predators around, and jumps at every shadow.

Blogger pdwalker December 20, 2019 11:53 AM  

if the admission is honest and the change away from gamma is real, then welcome.

always be on guard for remission.

Blogger Jeff aka Orville December 20, 2019 11:57 AM  

A brave first step. Keep looking into the mirror of truth. Don't look away and forget.

Blogger Blume December 20, 2019 12:28 PM  

This seems a weird point of view to me Web. I have always been low in the social sexual hierarchy and never felt attacked or like prey. What thoughts made you feel this way?

Blogger Doktor Jeep December 20, 2019 12:41 PM  

The easiest road out for gammas and spergy omegas is to make mutual combat legal. Used to be that if someone started something and got punched in the face for it nobody cared. Even if the gamma went crying to the cops the cops would find out and tell the gamma he had it coming.
Now? It's worse than "arrest everybody". Look at leftist protests. The gamma will get in your face or put a bullhorn up to your head and if you push him off he screams "that's assault!" and goes running to the cops. This bullshit of " it does not matter what you say as long as you don't touch anybody" is why I have total contempt for "muh free speech" people and their failure to see how weaponized this concept is.
There was once a time when boys always got onto fights. Once that zero policy crap started up this gammapocalypse was inevitable.

Blogger Falcor December 20, 2019 12:48 PM  

“I interpret their actions in the worst possible way, and hair-trigger react to it into a murderously aggressive stance.“

Therefore, because of projection, gun control.

Blogger R Webfoot December 20, 2019 1:10 PM  

@12
"I have always been low in the social sexual hierarchy and never felt attacked or like prey. What thoughts made you feel this way?"

Getting attacked by people I had formerly trusted, when the culture turned up the SJW volume. Before that, I was more likely to have no clue what people were thinking than to imagine the worst.

I was homeschooled, so that part of it came to me late, but I've heard environments like public school can be cruel to those low on the hierarchy, and long exposure to that can become part of the Gamma mindset. Every perceived slight feels like it MIGHT be "oh great, here we go again."

Blogger Steve Samson December 20, 2019 1:18 PM  

With practice, he should be able to arrest the spiral in its early stages now that he's aware of it.

Blogger Doctor Mayhem December 20, 2019 1:25 PM  

Of all of Vox Day's achievements and deeds, his greatest is and in my eyes will always be his nailing down the sociosexual psychology of the Gamma Male.

By naming and diagnosing the problem, Vox enabled needed solutions.

Blogger Balam December 20, 2019 1:34 PM  

Maybe you're an Omega lol. Just let me know before you head into the office on 'the day'

Blogger Azimus December 20, 2019 1:57 PM  

@RobertDWood A big change between the guy who blamed everyone else for his golden image, and the guy who charged in amidst the plague of the dying and checked the plague of God's wrath from Numbers 16. Cool thought.

Blogger Bernard Korzeniewicz December 20, 2019 2:44 PM  

I could write this letter.
Hopefuly now I'm better.
God made his work than I have met you VD.
Thank you for logical diagnose of my case. It helps fight recurring symptoms.

Blogger Beardy Bear December 20, 2019 3:16 PM  

Force gammas to fail faster.

Blogger OK December 20, 2019 3:42 PM  

The usual meaning of the abbreviation SSH--Secure Shell--is appropriate here as a riff on the secluded moral universe the gamma seals himself into.

Blogger tdcommenter December 20, 2019 5:58 PM  

@17 I am thankful that I read about it here and in SJWAL, and then diagnosed myself.

Blogger Doktor Jeep December 20, 2019 6:32 PM  

That murderous stance thing seems more omega than gamma IMO.

Blogger Kat December 20, 2019 6:40 PM  

CM wrote:Don't tell the feminists, but that sounds like me on pms.

It's a little better since having kids, but still feels like something in my head broke.


I've had days where all I could do is shut up because the moment I opened my mouth I knew I was going to say something for which I'd have to apologize. It's really not fun feeling that out of control.

Blogger Bobiojimbo December 20, 2019 6:42 PM  

Hmmm. Reminds me of 2 Corinthians 10:4-5.

Blogger artensoll December 20, 2019 7:16 PM  

I always get a lovely warm, maternal glow whenever I read one of these posts from recovering gammas. I'm proud of them.

I love it here, Vox. Thank you.

Blogger JovianStorm December 20, 2019 7:42 PM  

This was me 100% in my teens and 20s. I'm so glad I've learned to shut my mouth and exercise discipline over myself.

I think Gammas have high estrogen and lower testosterone, setting off a backup survival program of Gamma behavior. Society does nothing to discourage or reprogram these boys and they grow into a dread malevolence shrouded in righteous indignation.

Blogger Akuma December 20, 2019 8:03 PM  

"Used to be if someone started something and got punched in the face for it nobody cared. Even if the gamma went crying to the cops the cops would find out and tell the gamma he had it coming."

Where do you live? Theres a fist fight every weekend at my favorite bar.

Some Gammas are violent too. Especially those who weasel their way into positions of authority. It only comes out when they are on an alcohol binge.

Blogger Tomato bear December 20, 2019 8:04 PM  

I agree

Blogger Shane Bradman December 20, 2019 8:26 PM  

I think gammas had bad parents. I was raised to find out what I did wrong so I can do better next time. When you constantly look at weaknesses and errors it stops gamma cancer from developing to begin with. Gammas must come out when the father doesn't set an example for how to act. But knowing how they're made doesn't make me want to strangle them any less.

Blogger Blume December 20, 2019 9:25 PM  

Web what I remember of public school is just a bunch of little dogs yapping to prove they weren't scared. Nobody challenged the kings and the minos fought amongst themselves. Gammas aren't made by schools just revealed.
That comment about being turned on by those you trust is interesting since that happens to everybody but for some reason it really scarred you.

Blogger Tomato bear December 20, 2019 10:25 PM  

For gammas, Vox is like their internet father.

Blogger MNW December 21, 2019 12:43 AM  

It makes you numb to life. It creates a spiral of self-loathing, doubt, and nihilism that is difficult to articulate.

Blogger Vaughan Williams December 21, 2019 3:43 AM  

@32 I recommend you read Anonymous Conservative's article on dealing with narcissists. Apparently narcissism is highly heritable. Not necessarily genetic.

Blogger Tomato bear December 21, 2019 4:06 AM  

Something I find help is just to repeat the lord's prayer. It work wonders in calming my spiral

Blogger Meng Greenleaf December 21, 2019 8:55 AM  

Sorry if there's a half post above. My browser crashed.

I was reading a number of logic books written in the 1800s. I personally feel their written prose is clearer for some reason. Less postmodern uncertainty and nasal gazing. Also, they're often written succinctly and for instruction.

Anyway, one of the example syllogisms used was an argument for dueling.

Gamma's are lucky the most they have to worry about in our age is a busted ego. A century ago and earlier, it was considered prudent and logically valid to outright kill people with gamma behaviour.

The major premise, I believe, was simple expediency. Our forefathers literally didn't even bother to waste their time waiting for you to spiral. Let alone provide you with a path towards redemption.

Count yourself lucky today that you're simply ignored.

Blogger RC December 21, 2019 1:04 PM  

Doctor Mayhem wrote, "Of all of Vox Day's achievements and deeds, his greatest is and in my eyes will always be his nailing down the sociosexual psychology of the Gamma Male."

Amen. I started a software company and had built a team of people composed of, in retrospect, bravos, deltas, and two alphas. We experienced minor drama between the two alphas but then we hired a gamma for a support role and soap opera drama ensued. Ended up firing the guy and he came back in the office armed. Left without incident with a .44 mag in his face. Gammas going to gamma.

Blogger Daniel December 21, 2019 2:10 PM  

Use nnt wax in your ears concept. Do not go back to check the replies. Mute the conversation in twiter.
If you do not read people's anwer, you will not gamma.
Besides, most internet debates after a few posts become stupid anyway

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