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Tuesday, December 17, 2019

The critics rave!

I wonder who is still buying the obvious shill-o-ganda from the Devil Mouse? Besides, of course, the mainstream media.
It's the final film in the Skywalker saga that concludes the nine-film epic space opera. And critics were full of praise for Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker as they revealed their initial reactions to seeing the film at the Los Angeles premiere on Monday night.

While Disney has embargoed full reviews until Wednesday, those inside the three cinemas screening the film were so delighted they took to Twitter to give their spoiler-free thoughts on the film on Tuesday.

'I am absolutely blown away!' Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker received RAVE first reactions from critics as they gushed on Tuesday about the 'immensely satisfying' conclusion

Calling the J.J. Abrams-directed film an 'immensely satisfying', many critics claimed it was a 'fitting end' to the franchise. SlashFilm's Peter Scrietta gushed that 'JJ Abrams nailed it, as he added: 'He was able to bring a cohesive arc to this trilogy that feels like a fitting end to the saga as a whole. I'm so emotionally drained. Star Wars fans will be very happy.'

While SYFY Wire's Jenna Busch added: 'OH MY GOD! I am absolutely blown away! I've never been so satisfied by a film. This is the end of an era and a franchise that has defined my life and this did it justice in a way I didn't imagine it could. You WILL cry....'
Color me EXTREMELY dubious. Of course, I haven't seen a single Star Wars film since The Phantom Menace, so perhaps those who are more tolerant of bad cinema and terrible SF will genuinely be entertained.

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145 Comments:

Blogger Snidely Whiplash December 17, 2019 11:17 AM  

http://redlettermedia.com/nerd-crew-live-star-wars-news/

Blogger Kegs December 17, 2019 11:17 AM  

The inevitable RedLetterMedia deconstruction is the only reason to herald Episode IX's arrival =D

Blogger Doctor Mayhem December 17, 2019 11:19 AM  

I wish me or anyone in the alt right could get that Devil Mouse money and remake the prequel and sequel theologies completely and toss the current ones.

I can shitpost a better plot in one post while high on acid than the entire creative team responsible for this abortion.

Jar Jar Abrams by himself is a fine argument for why they deserve a pogrom.

Blogger Dan in Georgia December 17, 2019 11:27 AM  

SJWars is dead to me.

I'll be seeing Richard Jewell as soon as I get a chance. I was here when all that 1996 olympic stuff happened. Guessing Clint gets it right.

Blogger Azimus December 17, 2019 11:29 AM  

I wondef if it will involve a bold plan against impossible odds?

Blogger Silent Draco December 17, 2019 11:34 AM  

Is there a John Ford ending? Is the infant Republic saved from external and internal enemies by resurgent Jedi? Does the older Luke with R2 fly his trusty X-Wing off toward the Rim at the end, mission complete?

No thank you.

Blogger Matt December 17, 2019 11:35 AM  

They always give early access to people primed to love it anyway, so even genuinely awful movies get decent buzz but it looks like even still the social media buzz is mixed, which is really not a great sign IMO.

https://www.breitbart.com/entertainment/2019/12/17/rise-of-skywalker-reactions-mixed-to-genuinely-bad/

Blogger islanti December 17, 2019 11:38 AM  

Of course, I haven't seen a single Star Wars film since The Phantom Menace

And I bet those critics haven't seen a single Star Wars film before TPM.

Blogger DonReynolds December 17, 2019 11:41 AM  

When I see a puff piece and everyone who comments uses the exact same words to describe their "first impressions" and I am pretty sure they did not sit together in the theater, then I become very suspicious. "Great Minds" do that think that much alike, even after reading the same book. I have been in situations where the key words were passed along, to be used in comments and talks and speeches. ALWAYS include these words, no matter what else you say, and it would be best if you did not say anything else.

Blogger Didact December 17, 2019 11:43 AM  

The initial giddy reviews are ALREADY being tempered by people who were at the premiere - and didn't like the movie at all:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFcQv946tuY

Scott Mendelson's first impression of the film is that it's not merely bad, it's appalling:

At worst, I expected #TheRiseOfSkywalker to be a well made movie that I didn't like or whose story choices I disagreed with. I was not expecting a genuinely bad movie with video game plotting, thin characters, weak action and endless exposition of no consequence. Heartbreaking...

This film is a dumpster fire onto which the angry fans will gladly and gleefully perform napalm bombing runs. And the result is going to be the destruction of the STAR WARS franchise, on film at least, for roughly ten years. That latter number is purely a guess on my part, but given that Batman Forever absolutely killed the Dark Knight franchise on film for at least 7 years, and given that the STAR WARS franchise is quite a bit bigger than that, it seems a reasonable estimate.

Blogger bodenlose Schweinerei December 17, 2019 11:48 AM  

This is the end of an era and a franchise that has defined my life

You haven't lived a life, you've been a receptacle for manufactured consumerist compulsions.

Blogger Damelon Brinn December 17, 2019 11:54 AM  

I've been assuming it would do pretty well on the strength of people wanting to see how they wrap it up, the same way Revenge of the Sith did, especially since this one is being marketed as the end of the Skywalker saga. Early reports are really bad, though. Even Captain America-level creative accounting may not save it. Looks like the "toxic fans" will get hammered again.

Blogger Salt December 17, 2019 11:56 AM  

"You will cry..."

Well, who doesn't cry at funerals?

Disney delenda est.

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 17, 2019 11:57 AM  

You WILL cry...

Well, I expect I'll have some kind of intense physical reaction.

Regardless, my ticket reserves a seat next to an exit at a theater that sells Dirty Bastard ale (abv 8.5).

I shall watch this so you don't have to my brothers.

Pray for Cataline.

Blogger Nathan Bruno December 17, 2019 11:58 AM  

I assume that they will prop up Palpatine, then have him take off his mask - and he's Trump! The sullen girl who was born perfect will then scream, "Orange Man Bad!" while killing him. All the imperial guard will accept their fate, with one whispering, "That girl is more swordsMAN than any man, who is born imperfect." There will be a gratuitous scene in which she repeatedly brutalizes someone who looks a whole lot like Kim G as well; it will be Tarantino-levels of snuff. The ewoks and other plush-doll-friendly characters then declare that knowledge is no longer needed, because the girl who was born perfect feels the force through her magic discovery of balancing the force being something having to do with menstruation and focusing on her center, which just happens to be in her ovaries. She then engages in some sort of long, drawn-out sapphic scene with the ghosts of Leia and the purple HR bitch, because there were only four women in the universe, and the Asian girl left the franchise after she was called fat on Twitter.

Blogger Nate December 17, 2019 11:59 AM  

we need to see what these folks said about The Last Jedi

Blogger Brick Hardslab December 17, 2019 12:00 PM  

It's like Merc with a mouth. I know that's one of his nicknames but it was used a lot in some reviews. Deadpool isn't the only wisecracking marvel character by far

Blogger Oswald December 17, 2019 12:03 PM  

I know a number of people are claiming they are going to go see it. I allowed myself to be dragged to the last one and was greatly disappointed by it. I will volunteer to go to this one. Take one for the team. I will get a big popcorn to drown myself in.

I use to go to a ton of movies. During the Bush Wars, I started cutting back due to the obvious brainwashing that started showing up in every single movie. Hollywood was always trying to brainwash us, but they use to be a lot more subtle about it and they still wanted to make money on it. Now, they are able to ship this crap world wide and that has allowed them to apparently continue to make money on them. Unless it is inflated dollars and questionable accounting practices at work.

Blogger Calvin809 December 17, 2019 12:06 PM  

Could it be that the homosexual characters do make an appearance?

Blogger Cloudbuster December 17, 2019 12:08 PM  

Attention operatives: Be sure to use the word "satisfying" in your review.

Blogger Balkan Yankee December 17, 2019 12:09 PM  

Coming soon to a redbox near you.

Blogger Jim December 17, 2019 12:10 PM  

Damelon Brinn wrote:I've been assuming it would do pretty well on the strength of people wanting to see how they wrap it up, the same way Revenge of the Sith did, especially since this one is being marketed as the end of the Skywalker saga.
The fundamental problem there is that there's nothing to wrap up. Ruin Johnson screwed the pooch on that when he made The Last Jedi not just a rehash of Empire, but shoehorned Return in there as well. There's no credible villain remaining for anyone who walked out of Last to want to know what's next. Hence why they had to dig up Palpatine.

It's basically a stand alone movie at this point, as useless to the first two movies of this trilogy as this trilogy is to the previous two. To paraphrase "It's like poetry. It rhymes stupidly."

Blogger Krymneth December 17, 2019 12:12 PM  

Peter Sciretta's review of The Force Awakens: https://www.slashfilm.com/star-wars-the-force-awakens-spoiler-free-review/

"I had a huge grin on my face almost the entire run of this film. And when the end credits hit, I had tears rolling down my cheeks. Not because of any big plot twist, but purely out of joy — the promise of more Star Wars.

"Star Wars is back, and I’m ecstatic."

Jenna Bush on The Last Jedi: https://mobile.twitter.com/JennaBusch/status/939732798570557440 :

"There aren’t enough words to express how much I LOVED #StarWars #TheLastJedi! It is mind-blowing! I’m in geek heaven!"

You can do the math, I'm sure.

Blogger LR27 December 17, 2019 12:15 PM  

SDL, you’re too charitable. I was willing to give Disney a chance and saw the first Devil Mouse Star Wars and pimpled-out, literally crying, new Vader along with flawless feminist immaculate hero Jedi girl proved it to be the greatest waste of time of my life behind listening to an Amway guy trying to shill me into his pyramid scheme. I had a hard time believing that Disney could make it worse than Lucas had and I was proven wrong beyond my wildest imagination.

Blogger OneWingedShark December 17, 2019 12:18 PM  

Kegs wrote:The inevitable RedLetterMedia deconstruction is the only reason to herald Episode IX's arrival =D
MauLer and Doomcock are going to rip it to shreds, too.
And if Critical Drinker does one in the style that he did for Captain Marvel we'll be treated to the best of sarcasm-as-an-artform.

Damelon Brinn wrote:Even Captain America-level creative accounting may not save it. Looks like the "toxic fans" will get hammered again.
I've noticed that HR/recruiters use the same tactics on jobseekers: it's always the jobhunter's fault. Showed up in a suit and treated things super-professional, you're not a fun person. Show up "semi-casual" and you're not professional. Give times where you're available to take calls, and you're an entitled prima donna. Trim your resume down to one page: well you're obviously underqualified; don't trim it down, you're obviously inflating your abilities & experience.

TL;DR — The blaming "toxic fans" is because they refuse to "eat the bugs" of a bad story, just as the blaming of job-seekers is because they refuse to work for slave wages or be treated like garbage.

Blogger Warunicorn December 17, 2019 12:20 PM  

They're not even trying anymore.

"OMG GUYZ! THIS MOVIE BLEWW ME AWAI! TOTES RAD! YOU SHOULD SEE IT! RIGHT NOW!"

/vomit

That Red Letter Media video was just beautiful. lol

Blogger Brian S December 17, 2019 12:24 PM  

screams "genuine reaction" when all three examples use the same words to describe it

Blogger Daniel December 17, 2019 12:26 PM  

Disney delenda est! Yes a thousand times.

Blogger Nate December 17, 2019 12:26 PM  

oh look.. the guy raving about this movie... peter scrietta dearly loved the last jedi. it supposedly left him shaken it was so good. and so funny!

in other words.. stay home. this film is complete shit.

Blogger peacefulposter December 17, 2019 12:28 PM  

I'd rather see the new Clint Eastwood movie, even though he went on the Ellen Show of all places to promote it. Hopefully that is only because his office is next door.

Blogger swiftfoxmark2 December 17, 2019 12:31 PM  

More than likely, these reviews were commissioned by various marketing agencies with the intent on building the hype.

Blogger Sterling Pilgrim December 17, 2019 12:36 PM  

“I was absolutely blown away!”

If only we could be so fortunate

Blogger qualitycontrol December 17, 2019 12:37 PM  

Critics on rottentomatoes gave The Last Jedi a 91, audience gave it a 40 something. I doubt this will be different. If early leaks are correct Episode 9 will be just as bad. I can't see Episode 9 convince people to go and see it the way Revenge of the Sith did. Unlike the current trilogy, that one had a stupid but coherent plot and decent Fanservice.

Blogger Ingot9455 December 17, 2019 12:47 PM  

The only question is: "Is it worth it to pay John C. Wright to see the movie and take it apart like the last one?"

Blogger Damelon Brinn December 17, 2019 12:51 PM  

If JJ tried to save the series by undoing any of TLJ's subversion and trying to make this one seem like Star Wars, the hardcore TLJ fans will have a dilemma. They'll want to attack it to defend their precious, but they won't want to agree with the toxic ones. Should be fun to watch the squirming.

Blogger SemiSpook37 December 17, 2019 12:53 PM  

I gather more than a few folks are going to see this because it's like a 50 car pileup on an interstate: so horrific that you can't help but slow down and look.

Blogger YIH December 17, 2019 12:53 PM  

I haven't seen a single Star Wars film since The Phantom Menace
Me neither, I took falling asleep when it ran on TV as a warning and swore off the series. Even filling the theater with shills (err,"critics") and embargoing reviews until 12/18 was no guarantee that they'd all heap praise on this (IMHO) trainwreck. How nervous was the devil mouse? Guess who they didn't invite to big premier? George Lucas! Everything I've been hearing is George is not at all happy with any the sequel trilogy.
I'm betting this will a worse trainwreck than TLJ, with script rewrites and reshoots continuing into early Dec. Note how the cast reacts in the "wrap party".
My prediction: Opens at #1 for the weekend, between $100-200 million (lower than TLJ's $250 mil.) drops quickly after as people discover what a dumpster fire this mess is.

Blogger furor kek tonicus ( no need to be racist, Ratchets can Karen better than anybody ) December 17, 2019 1:01 PM  

George Lucas was not at the opening.

because Disney did. not. invite. him.

think about that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dx7AIx0HLY

it's also funny how Hamill is nowhere to be seen on the promotion tour for this.


11. bodenlose Schweinerei December 17, 2019 11:48 AM
You haven't lived a life, you've been a receptacle for manufactured consumerist compulsions.




how DARE you talk about her kittenbabies like that?

Blogger Newscaper312 December 17, 2019 1:02 PM  

Biggest whore of the bugger name movie critics was always Pete Travers w Rolling Stone. He would get on his high horse and bash mid sized popular films to show his artistic cred, but then guaranteed to fall in line when A Big One came along.
If he's still in the business he'll probably be on the cover of TS going down on Iger, Kennedy and Abrams simultaneously.

Blogger Karen took the Kids December 17, 2019 1:04 PM  

Glowing review from one Adam B.Vary on Twitter. He also wrote an article previously on whether Poe and Finn were boyfriends.

"Also, I can confirm there is queer representation in #StarWars #TheRiseofSkywalker. It lasts maybe two seconds, and you may miss it entirely. Welp."

There is NO art, film, literature, music, society that these people do not actively attempt to subvert and destroy.

It's a pleasure to support genuine causes to fight against this degeneracy. Every little helps.

Blogger Newscaper312 December 17, 2019 1:06 PM  

I d iui d r re ad somewhere just other day that Abrams appeared to be distancing himself a bit from TLJ. Author thought that was bad.

Blogger Timmy3 December 17, 2019 1:16 PM  

I don’t want to see it, but I have the next two weeks off for Christmas break and I want to eat some popcorn while reclining on the leather chairs. I also have tickets to Disney On Ice. Oh well.

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 17, 2019 1:19 PM  

My favorite part is how Disney has quietly decided to throw TLJ under the bus.

I keep seeing phrases like, "if you loved The Last Jedi, you might not like this one as much."

That started with John Boyega and Abrams. Now the access media is all saying it too.

It doesn't suck now. We promise!

Blogger Hoyabembe December 17, 2019 1:25 PM  

I've heard that companies like Disney will have people getting the crowd pumped up before the movie starts and other nonsense at those screenings.

Blogger Crazy Dave December 17, 2019 1:25 PM  

this weekend, i will be seeing (instead)

the Despecialized (2.5) Original Trilogy

and will top it off with

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension (director's cut)

Blogger Warunicorn December 17, 2019 1:30 PM  

Sterling Pilgrim wrote:“I was absolutely blown away!”

If only we could be so fortunate


Is it bad I laughed so damned hard? What has today's "culture" done to me? lol

Blogger FUBARwest December 17, 2019 1:34 PM  

"I don’t want to see it, but I have the next two weeks off for Christmas break and I want to eat some popcorn while reclining on the leather chairs. "

If only we lived in a time where movie theaters had multiple movies playing in multiple auditoriums.

Its really simple. Dont give Disney your money. If you are going to, dont lie to yourself about it. You aren't convincing anyone here.

Blogger Dole December 17, 2019 1:36 PM  

It's been ages since I saw a decent scifi movie. Leftists have completely destroyed the industry... If only were Vox also a movie producer.

Blogger Greg Hunt December 17, 2019 1:41 PM  

Why is this called Episode 9? Hasn't Disney made an additional 9 movies already? Shouldn't this be Episode 15 or something?

Blogger xevious2030 December 17, 2019 1:43 PM  

Snidely, Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker is already on track to being one of the most popular and successful films of all time. Thank you so much for the link. Well worth the watch.

Blogger Nostromo December 17, 2019 1:49 PM  

Jar Jar was my last straw. Have only seen trailers on tv since then. When Star Wars came out I was 16, and in thrall. The music album had me nearly in tears. It has all been down hill from then. Sometimes slowly, sometimes precipitously, but always down. Except for the CGI. Wow! The improvement in technology was fascinating.

Blogger Lovekraft December 17, 2019 1:52 PM  

Who cares whether someone liked it or not, or if their criticism amounts to one-liners?

The core subtext of the plot is the only thing I'm interested in.

The music, CGI and soundtrack is just wizardry

Blogger jarheadljh December 17, 2019 1:59 PM  

I've been enjoying Overlord DVD's commentary on all things Star Wars this last year. It's far more entertaining than the movies/studios that he's been eviscerating.

Blogger furor kek tonicus ( no need to be racist, Ratchets can Karen better than anybody ) December 17, 2019 1:59 PM  

how the enemy acts with regards to the Richard Jewell movie:
They don't want to give Clint the benefit of movie ticket sales, so they’ve cut a deal with movie theaters to buy tickets for another movie.”

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2019/12/richard-jewell-movie-kathy-scruggs

Blogger Jeff Weimer December 17, 2019 2:03 PM  

I have a free Disney+ account; I'll wait a couple of months. By then I'm sure the opinions will have congealed to a consensus - likely negative. In any case, I won't have spent a dime to find out for myself.

Blogger mh01701@gmail.com December 17, 2019 2:06 PM  

Having been super disappointed with the last few jedi movies, all movies in general really. I'm going to wait until Bollywood brings out new and improved Star Wars...for those of you giving up on Hollywierd... GO Bollywood!!!!

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 17, 2019 2:13 PM  

Alright, comment number 50 left me in stitches.

The troll factories are really grinding'em out at full steam at this point.

Blogger Joe Smith December 17, 2019 2:14 PM  

It’s as if Lucas accidentally made something good (which means true), and then he spent the rest of his life trying to atone for it. Once he had performed sufficient mea culpas and debased what was originally good, the Devil Mouse rolled in and gave him his worldly reward. The IP now theirs, they’ve weaponized our memories of what was once good against us. Most of us aren’t watching any more, at least. Except poor Cataline, taking one for the team.

Blogger Azimus December 17, 2019 2:26 PM  

Exactly Loveckraft. Raving about CGI and music is like that guy who watches the football game and just talks about the uniforms all day.

Blogger Rattlesnake_Kid December 17, 2019 2:26 PM  

I hope they reboot the originals.

"Luke, I am your mother..."

Blogger furor kek tonicus ( no need to be racist, Ratchets can Karen better than anybody ) December 17, 2019 2:36 PM  

57. Cataline Sergius December 17, 2019 2:13 PM
The troll factories are really grinding'em out at full steam at this point.



i thought that was sarcasm?

Blogger cecilhenry December 17, 2019 2:40 PM  

'The critics rave'


This PC virtue signalling society is more like a Stalin speech.


Of course you clap and rave.


You don't even dare NOT to clap!!!

YOu know what's expected.

Your job is to make it LOOK like its not expected!!!

And that you don't notice the doublethink duplicity you're achieving!!


When it comes to ‘Diversity™’—-

“Don’t ever be the first to stop applauding.”


https://ddswaterloo.wordpress.com/2015/07/14/white-privilege-and-the-diversity-bell/

Blogger DonReynolds December 17, 2019 2:40 PM  

Movie making is a business the movie itself is an art form that hopes to be a commercial product. Anybody can make a movie that they like and would enjoy watching many times, but to be successful you must make a movie that everyone ELSE likes, whether you like it or not. This seems to be the point that Hollywood has lost these days. There really is not enough money in the world to make a bad movie into a good movie. No amount of special effects and big name actors can make up for a repulsive story line. A franchise already has an automatic advantage of a loyal following and name recognition. Why is it so impossible in Hollywood to keep the larger audience a franchise already has, instead of pandering to a tiny audience the franchise never had? Does "wokeness" require the destruction of everything, large and small?

Blogger Goodnight December 17, 2019 2:44 PM  

I took my 13 year old to see Midway last weekend and they showed the trailer for Rise of Skywalker. A few seconds in I heard him say "Seriously?" followed by two minutes of eye rolls and head shaking. Just a couple of years ago he was a big Star Wars fan, but now his only interest is in mocking it. They've killed off their core audience. Even if the initial box office is good, the merch and home video numbers are likely to tank.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine December 17, 2019 2:45 PM  

Disney has been involved in falsification of the response to every SW movie they've made so far. Why stop now?

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 17, 2019 2:46 PM  

Now, the real shock here is the guys who aren't shilling but are legendary for doing just that.

1. Scott Mendalson from Forbes.

"At worst, I expected #TheRiseOfSkywalker to be a well made movie that I didn't like or whose story choices I disagreed with. I was not expecting a genuinely bad movie with video game plotting, thin characters, weak action and endless exposition of no consequence. Heartbreaking..."

Scott is career soyboy who loves anything that backs feminist SJWism. So maybe he's just mad that Star Wars gave up Wokeness for cash. The second name is the real stunner.

2. John Campea

"Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker reaction - There are a few big great moments, and I'm sure a lot of people are going to love this movie. Unfortunately, I'm just not one of them. Hopefully I'll like it a little bit more after I see it again tomorrow."

John f#%&ing Campea said this?!?!? Campea is such a reliable shill that everyone makes fun of him for it. Redlettermedia started an entire series of skits based on his podcast. He has no reputation to lose because everyone knows the man is a complete whore.

And he's the one saying this?!?!

How bad is this thing?

Blogger Azure Amaranthine December 17, 2019 2:47 PM  

"Jar Jar Abrams by himself"

Stop insulting JarJar.

Blogger Statix December 17, 2019 2:47 PM  

Oh good, I was waiting for Jenna Busch's stamp of approval before I felt comfortable buying a ticket.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine December 17, 2019 2:49 PM  

"I shall watch this so you don't have to my brothers."

Heed C.S. Lewis and don't fund your enemies. No, there doesn't have to be someone who does it. We don't care about it. Let it die.

Blogger swiftfoxmark2 December 17, 2019 2:59 PM  

The only movie I'm interested in seeing next is Godzilla vs. Kong. That's been pushed to November of next year.

Blogger bramley December 17, 2019 3:03 PM  

I lost interest in Star Wars after Lucas rehashed the originals and made them all creepy. Han Solo shot first... get over it. Greedo was a prick anyway.

Blogger Scuzzaman December 17, 2019 3:06 PM  

Isn’t this a nice piece of fruit, lady?

Classic bait and switch but to work the bait has to be appealing.

I’m wondering if there’s ever been a film the critics unanimously raved about that was any good?

Blogger bramley December 17, 2019 3:08 PM  

BTW if anyone wants to watch a great, funny sci-fi prod at social justice and feminazis, look up Seksmisja, from 1984.

Blogger Ingot9455 December 17, 2019 3:13 PM  

Since Jar Jar had not been revealed as the secret drunken kung fu Jedi Master, the movie is a failure.

Blogger Nate December 17, 2019 3:17 PM  

"Its really simple. Dont give Disney your money. If you are going to, dont lie to yourself about it. You aren't convincing anyone here. "

This will be the first star wars movie (I mean mainline..not counting rogue one or solo) that I haven't seen in the theaters the day it came out. The Force Awakens was fine.. it wasn't great but it was fine. TLJ... nope. never again. completely ruined it for us.

Blogger Nate December 17, 2019 3:17 PM  

that said.. the hype for the Mandalorian is legit. it is really good. Its the first star wars in a long time that has capture the spaghetti western feel. its awesome.

Blogger xevious2030 December 17, 2019 3:21 PM  

Cataline, that bit was pulled from the video Snidely shared a link to (top post). The guys in the video were flawless.

Blogger Beardy Bear December 17, 2019 3:23 PM  

They reveal Leia is a guy. Flashback played by Taylor Swift.

Blogger MNW December 17, 2019 3:23 PM  

They have already started attacking him and the film.

You only get flack when you are over the target

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 17, 2019 3:31 PM  

xevious2030 wrote:Cataline, that bit was pulled from the video Snidely shared a link to (top post). The guys in the video were flawless.

My apologies.

It's getting hard to tell satire from the real world.

Blogger Rattlesnake_Kid December 17, 2019 3:34 PM  

swiftfoxmark2 wrote:The only movie I'm interested in seeing next is Godzilla vs. Kong. That's been pushed to November of next year.

I wouldn't bother. I saw the newest Godzilla during a long flight and it was completely SJW'd. Kong had a brief appearance, surely to foreshadow Godzilla Vs Kong. Though there was an amusingly revealing scene, where a jew and a black man stood next to each other as the jew said, "This wouldn't be the first time that two different species have worked together..."

Blogger Snidely Whiplash December 17, 2019 3:35 PM  

xevious2030 wrote:Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker is already on track to being one of the most popular and successful films of all time.
So cool. Super super cool. I heard that Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker is already on track to being one of the most popular and successful films of all time.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash December 17, 2019 3:35 PM  

DonReynolds wrote:Why is it so impossible in Hollywood to keep the larger audience a franchise already has, instead of pandering to a tiny audience the franchise never had? Does "wokeness" require the destruction of everything, large and small?
Yes. Yes it does. Everything.

Blogger Mr Smith December 17, 2019 3:41 PM  

The only hope for Star Wars is The Mandalorian. And if we get more chapters like Chapter 6 "The Prisoner" no one will even think about the sequels. Disney would actually make more money, if they replaced Episode 9 with the first 6 Chapters of The Mandalorian in theaters.

Blogger anorganicbear December 17, 2019 3:42 PM  

The last film was so bad I completely swore off the franchise and the Devil Mouse in general, but I am morbidly curious about how this particular trainwreck ends. Maybe if I get the chance to see it without paying for it, I'll take a look.

Blogger FissionChips December 17, 2019 3:51 PM  

What is even more amazing is that Disney decided to ignore the alternative canon of the Extended Universe Star Wars novels. Competent science fiction authors have been expanding the pantheon of characters for the better part of three decades. All they would have needed to do was shell out millions for film rights, and they would have the Star Wars equivalent of the Marvel Universe to mine for content. It's a completely obvious strategy.

But no, they get woke and utterly destroy the good name of the franchise. It is beyond stupidity.

I sometimes bristle when Vox frames an issue in satanic terms, but what other explanation is there? The devil mouse indeed.

Blogger Theproductofafineeduction December 17, 2019 3:52 PM  

Lucas made a good pulp film (Star Wars that ended up becoming something transcendental because of other very talented individuals (Empire).

I think his problem is that he could never admit this and played into this idea the had crafted this sort of intricate narrative which the prequels exposed wasn't the case.

In what interviews I've seen with him talking about Disney he doesn't appear happy both with how Disney screwed him out of royalties and how they haven't taken any of his creative input. I bet if he knew know what he did when Disney approached him he wouldn't have taken the deal...

But thats the risk of dealing with the devil.

Blogger Ingot9455 December 17, 2019 3:53 PM  

"I liked it. It was better than CATS. I'll see it again and again. "

Blogger Horace December 17, 2019 3:54 PM  

When you read a book you can often see the section of the novel that is placed in highest importance by the author, usually for the highly marketed dramas it is placed first, such is the case for the star wars opening crawl which is the premise of the drama that follows in reverse perspective. I am aware that these multiplicity of stories were originally books but who has read them and where are these segments located?
In any case, the wikipedia entry describing "the opening crawl" is fascinating, however like all wikipedia entries it is also intended for translation from English; Agape tenet opera.

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 17, 2019 4:02 PM  

Nate wrote:that said.. the hype for the Mandalorian is legit. it is really good. Its the first star wars in a long time that has capture the spaghetti western feel. its awesome.

The proof is in the secondary market.

On Ebay, Black edition Rey action figures are going for retail.

The Mandalorian Black edition goes for $169. And Ebay is the only place to find one because every place else is sold out until March.

Blogger Unknownsailor December 17, 2019 4:03 PM  

Go see Richard Jewel instead, put your money where your beliefs are.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan December 17, 2019 4:27 PM  

TFA and TLJ whole loads of meh, I thought the Apple snowball fight commercial was more SW than those two and their Mary Sue Skywalker.

Blogger jarheadljh December 17, 2019 4:28 PM  

Joe Smith wrote:It’s as if Lucas accidentally made something good (which means true), and then he spent the rest of his life trying to atone for it. Once he had performed sufficient mea culpas and debased what was originally good, the Devil Mouse rolled in.....

That's almost what happened. Near as I can tell, the real story is actually rather petty. The original script(featuring Luke Starkiller) is an absolute mess, and likely was cut down by an unknown script doctor at Fox, and even then the finished footage was on track to being, well, just like the Prequels, because they were all made by George Lucas.

STAR WARS(now called Episode IV) was saved in the editing bay by none other George's soon to be ex-wife(How Star Wars was saved in the edit - www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEHRNS-Scrs). Due to the divorce George actually had relatively little to do with EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, and amazingly enough it's the best one(although not my favorite). George had regained his faculties enough by ROTJ(my favorite) to make the business decision to cut all scenes on the Wookie homeworld to instead give us an army of aboriginal Teddy Ruxbin's taking on the Empire, which stands out in my mind as a cinematic crime.

But yeah, most likely the reason for the Special-Ed Editions is because George always felt that Star Wars had been stolen from him. He bought into his own BS and started thinking that it would have been just as successful if he had just done what he wanted to do, so that's exactly what he did. Fast forward to the last version of the Special-Eds and he digitally inserted Hayden Christensen from the Prequels as a final middle finger to the fans that he had come to hate. Then he cashed out.

Keep track of the Despecialized Editions, because that's the closest we're ever going to get to the Original Trilogy.

Blogger Lance E December 17, 2019 4:49 PM  

Let's read some of the specific comments, shall we?

Peter Scrietta: "I'm so emotionally drained."

Jenna Busch: "the end of an era"

Jake Hamilton: "there's never been a Star Wars movie like this one before"

Rob Keyes: "It somehow addresses issues, problematic characters..."

Right, right. Do go on, respected critics...

Blogger Korbin Ransley December 17, 2019 4:57 PM  

The talent is still there. Look at the Star Wars books, and video games like KOTOR, and Fallen Order and you can see the skill, and artistry.

But Supreme Leader Snoke cruising around in his flag ship "The Supremacy". Space Hitler General Armitage Hux illegitamately conceived, degraded in character, and ability from his first appearance, being slapped around by the force, and used as comic relief. And Saw Gerrera/Che Guevara appearing in the Rogue One movie, and Star Wars books, and video games as a rebel and a resistance fighter. Though in fairness Saw/Che's methods are questioned. It's too much, it's over the top, and it's grating.

I don't dislike Star Wars, but it's getting easier and more natural to withdraw support from the Anti West Leftist, and Globalist, and lend it to the Pro West Right, and Nationalist.

Thank You Vox, Legion, and Mods for everything you do.

Blogger bramley December 17, 2019 5:01 PM  

Just looked up pics of Lucas... You'd think a billionaire could afford to pay someone to tame his wayward neck fat. In every photo he looks like he's about to let off a loud 'ribbit'.

Blogger furor kek tonicus ( no need to be racist, Ratchets can Karen better than anybody ) December 17, 2019 5:20 PM  

84. Mr Smith December 17, 2019 3:41 PM
The only hope for Star Wars is The Mandalorian. And if we get more chapters like Chapter 6 "The Prisoner"



chapter 6.

is "The Prisoner"?

oh you sly bastards.

be seeing you.


87. Theproductofafineeduction December 17, 2019 3:52 PM
I bet if he knew know what he did when Disney approached him he wouldn't have taken the deal...


imagine turning down 4 Beeelion dollars ...

Blogger papabear December 17, 2019 5:21 PM  

The Apple snowball fight was just more SJW advertising, even if it had the look of Matrix. What else would one expect from Apple? Forget the converged corporations.

Blogger Chris Lopes December 17, 2019 5:26 PM  

Wait until you can borrow it from your local library.

Blogger CitizenOutkast December 17, 2019 5:29 PM  

I don't get the people here, especially ilk, saying that they anticipate hating it but are still going to go watch it. Why? Go see something else. Doesn't VD keep telling you to stop handing money to those who hate you? And no, you're not "taking one for the team" or "seeing it so we don't have to." I don't plan on seeing it and I'm not going to miss not seeing it, so going to see it yourself isn't doing me any favors. Just admit that you want to see it, you're willing to pay to see it, and accept it.

Blogger ar10308 December 17, 2019 5:32 PM  

The Mandalorian is the only lifeline Star Wars has at the moment. The new films have been a disaster, so they've put their eggs for the franchise in the Baby Yoda bassinet. Oddly enough they don't even have toys for the green cherub, they claim because they wanted to keep him secret. However, I don't think they realized what they had until he became the only legitimately successful and popular new Star Wars character. Otherwise, they'd have toys of him by the truckload for this Christmas because none of the other toys have anywhere near the demand.

Blogger Colonel Blimp December 17, 2019 5:32 PM  

Interstellar was pretty great. There sre foreign sci fi that isnt bad. The gayness and sjw runs strong among the hollywood frugalists so its in everything. Im going watch Richard Jewell because the subject matter is close to my heart but I have to admit while i love clint im generally a bit bored by how he does his movies.

Use Amazon and even Netflux for what you need: namely older movies, docs, and foreign pictures. 98 percent of stuff produced in the states for tv or cinema in the last 10 years is complete garbage

Blogger jamsco December 17, 2019 5:44 PM  

Here's how I rank these movies on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being best)
Ep 4 - 10
Ep 5- 10
Ep 6 - 7
Ep 3 - 7
Ep 7 - 7
Rogue 1 - 7
Solo - 7
Ep 1 - 5
Ep 2 - 5
Ep 8 - 3

The question is - where will Ep 9 fall?

Blogger David The Good December 17, 2019 6:29 PM  

You are way too kind.

Blogger Timitz December 17, 2019 6:40 PM  

I take it you haven't seen episodes 4 and 6 then. Episode 4 made me need a barf bag it was so cheesy and hackneyed. Episode 6 was a crappy fanfilm made by college students. It's like they play spin the bottle to pick the director of each episode.

I'm not even getting started on the bad camera angles and music.

Blogger John Bradley December 17, 2019 7:00 PM  

In what interviews I've seen with him talking about Disney he doesn't appear happy both with how Disney screwed him out of royalties and how they haven't taken any of his creative input.

Mandatory "Lucas Reacts to Rise of Skywalker" video link. (Funny. Not actually Lucas, but some guy doing a very good impersonation.)

Blogger English Tom December 17, 2019 7:01 PM  

It sounds like this film will be a complete pile of shite. Let me recommend a great film I watched on Sunday, The King. The story of Henry V and Agincourt. Thoroughly engrossing, and containing themes that will resonate with many on this blog.

Blogger Damelon Brinn December 17, 2019 7:01 PM  

@105, I assume you're forgetting Lucas's idiotic numbering to suggest that the whole thing was a planned saga from the beginning. Episode 4 is the movie from 1977 titled "Star Wars," and Episode 6 is named "Return of the Jedi." The prequels were 1-3 and the Disney Wars trilogy is 7-9.

Blogger Shane Bradman December 17, 2019 7:11 PM  

I've seen a lot of bad sequels to movies I love. Planet of the Apes got a full movie series and each of the 4 sequels was terrible. But as bad as they were, I always had the original to go back to. Not with Star Wars. They have crushed the originals and I now hate the franchise, save for moderate disinterest in the first movie.

Blogger Pathfinderlight December 17, 2019 7:14 PM  

Wow, the critics rave without being able to talk about the full movie? How do we know they've seen them?

That aside, we know movie studios for decades have controlled early access to movie screenings for those movie critics who will give nice quotes for movie trailer commercials. Disney is now taking this power play and making it an art form.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash December 17, 2019 7:15 PM  

jamsco wrote:The question is - where will Ep 9 fall?
Who gives a single shit?

Blogger Calvin809 December 17, 2019 7:30 PM  

I'm looking into the despecialized edition too. A lot of work went into it.

Blogger JamesB.BKK December 17, 2019 7:46 PM  

Amway has good soaps and water treatment systems.

Blogger Calvin809 December 17, 2019 7:52 PM  

I think Lucas thought that they would treat things way differently when he sold them the rights. They did give him a big middle finger

Blogger Calvin809 December 17, 2019 7:54 PM  

Anyone going to see 1917?

Blogger RobertDWood December 17, 2019 7:59 PM  

*Captain Marvel.

Mandela effect is real.

Blogger All Day Coffee break December 17, 2019 8:07 PM  

Thank you. I'll look for your thoughts.

Excellent choice on the ale.

Blogger Newscaper312 December 17, 2019 8:49 PM  

@92 @98
I absolutely detest the Apple snowball fight ad.
Its all about funky looking mulatto grrl power kicking white boys asses. 92 how did you not see that?

Blogger Ransom Smith December 17, 2019 9:00 PM  

Here's how I rank these movies on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being best)
Ep 4 - 10
Ep 5- 10
Ep 6 - 7
Ep 3 - 7
Ep 7 - 7
Rogue 1 - 7
Solo - 7
Ep 1 - 5
Ep 2 - 5
Ep 8 - 3

Those rankings are appalling.
The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones are easily better than anything since the Disney takeover.
Musically, choreography, Ian Mcdiarmid, etc.
Return of the Jedi is also a 6 unless you edit out huge everything but the Luke and Vader scenes.

Blogger Newscaper312 December 17, 2019 9:02 PM  

Interstellar was great. Ad Astra was surprisingly bad. Not painfully SJW'ed so much as unnecessarily dumb writing. Shame w a pretty good cast and production budget.
Only other decent SF right now is The Expanse, which just put out its 4th season on Amazon. Originally on SyFy, Amazon picked it up. Certain inevitable amount of diversity, and they always love to show earth with the big global warming sea level rise, and feels like bad guys might be somewhat disproportionately white, but I generally dont feel preached at.

On a different note, blast from the past, saw an old USA SF movie The Cold Equations recently, from the 90s. B movie w lower budget, might have been a TV movie, but had some smart. Felt in may ways like I was watching a long lost sekf contained Babylon 5 episode.

Blogger Ransom Smith December 17, 2019 9:06 PM  

and likely was cut down by an unknown script doctor at Fox, and even then the finished footage was on track to being, well
A lot of that is probably Gary Kurtz, the producer for Star Wars and Empire.
He did not have a hand in anything Star Wars after Empire.

Blogger M Cephas December 17, 2019 9:10 PM  

"Attack of the Clones" and "Revenge of the Sith" were Lucas' chance at redemption, and I think they were pretty good. Don't let "The Phantom Menace" dissuade you from seeing those two.

I haven't watched any of the new ones though.

Blogger Damelon Brinn December 17, 2019 9:34 PM  

Certain inevitable amount of diversity, and they always love to show earth with the big global warming sea level rise, and feels like bad guys might be somewhat disproportionately white, but I generally dont feel preached at.

"Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?"

Blogger xevious2030 December 17, 2019 9:38 PM  

“I assume you're forgetting Lucas's idiotic numbering to suggest that the whole thing was a planned saga from the beginning.”

Would tend to agree, except my dad and step mom, not long after 4, said they had read 5 & 6 of 9, and gave the spoilers of the siblings, and of their father. Easy to say now of course.

Blogger furor kek tonicus ( no need to be racist, Ratchets can Karen better than anybody ) December 17, 2019 10:43 PM  

sorry, there's no way Star Wars ranks higher than Empire.

and for all of the fun of the original release Star Wars, it was mostly the mind blowing practical FX that carried that one. story wise, the cheese is sharp ( although not Lucas Extra Sharp ) in Ep4.

if you weren't there, you can't hardly imagine the shock when you first saw "No, I am your father. Search your feelings, you know it to be true" in the theater. you gotta remember, we didn't have the internet or 24/7 "entertainment news" and story leaks and this that and the other thing.

we had NO FREAKING IDEA that was coming. best heel turn ever.

you can still see a pretty good facsimile of that on youtube, with parents showing their kids or the like. but it's still not the same as a whole packed theater of people sitting there in the dark going, "What the ever living fuck just happened?"

Blogger Unknown December 17, 2019 11:37 PM  

That lead female of the new Star Wars films (which I've not even seen) always look like a female Ben Shapiru lol.

Blogger JamesB.BKK December 17, 2019 11:51 PM  

I am your faja.

Blogger bodenlose Schweinerei December 18, 2019 2:07 AM  

DonReynolds wrote:Why is it so impossible in Hollywood to keep the larger audience a franchise already has, instead of pandering to a tiny audience the franchise never had? Does "wokeness" require the destruction of everything, large and small?

The only "audience" that matters to them is their cocaine-and-prostitute cocktail party pals. They'll do anything to keep being allowed to mingle with the kool kids krowd.

Blogger OGRE December 18, 2019 3:07 AM  

furor kek tonicus ( Tessa Majors enjoyed all the benefits of Toxic Diversity ) wrote:
if you weren't there, you can't hardly imagine the shock when you first saw "No, I am your father. Search your feelings, you know it to be true" in the theater. you gotta remember, we didn't have the internet or 24/7 "entertainment news" and story leaks and this that and the other thing.

we had NO FREAKING IDEA that was coming. best heel turn ever.


I just had this exact conversation yesterday with a couple of 25 year olds. Trying to explain how nobody saw it coming and nobody knew if it was true or not, and it took us three years till we learned. Another older guy chimed in and said "Imagine 250 million people gasping all at once, because thats what happened."

The poor kids had both seen the prequel trilogy before the original trilogy. They just didn't understand.

Blogger Newscaper312 December 18, 2019 3:13 AM  

@123
I guess I discount some of that a bit, but the actual plots are neutral, and I dont barf in my mouth a little like I did every episode of the SWAT reboot before shitcanning it.

Blogger Derrick Bonsell December 18, 2019 6:13 AM  

Lucas is proof of the maxim that directors cuts aren't automatically an improvement over the original theatrical releases. In many cases they're far worse.

Blogger JamesB.BKK December 18, 2019 7:02 AM  

Not gon' see it. Not interested in reviews other than (perhaps) a work of Mr. Plinkett.

Blogger Iron Spartan December 18, 2019 9:07 AM  

Heard on the radio this morning:

"the Rise of Skywalker will remind you of how good the Last Jedi really was."

... uhm, thats not what I would call praise.

Blogger Unknownsailor December 18, 2019 10:45 AM  

furor kek tonicus ( Tessa Majors enjoyed all the benefits of Toxic Diversity ) wrote:sorry, there's no way Star Wars ranks higher than Empire.

and for all of the fun of the original release Star Wars, it was mostly the mind blowing practical FX that carried that one. story wise, the cheese is sharp ( although not Lucas Extra Sharp ) in Ep4.

if you weren't there, you can't hardly imagine the shock when you first saw "No, I am your father. Search your feelings, you know it to be true" in the theater. you gotta remember, we didn't have the internet or 24/7 "entertainment news" and story leaks and this that and the other thing.

we had NO FREAKING IDEA that was coming. best heel turn ever.

you can still see a pretty good facsimile of that on youtube, with parents showing their kids or the like. but it's still not the same as a whole packed theater of people sitting there in the dark going, "What the ever living fuck just happened?"

I was there, I remember the gasp. I was 9.

Blogger Unknownsailor December 18, 2019 10:47 AM  

56% on RT as of the morning of the 18th. Rise of Skywalker is a bomb.

Disney should have just put the Zahn trilogy into movie form, and printed the megabucks.

Blogger Matt December 18, 2019 10:49 AM  

Rotten Tomatoes score is currently at 55%

LOL

Blogger MrNiceguy December 18, 2019 12:19 PM  

You misspelled BitTorrent, and probably not even then.

Blogger MrNiceguy December 18, 2019 12:23 PM  

Identical review to Zoe Quinn's game, and for the same reason.

Blogger Tom December 18, 2019 12:35 PM  

The film critic in our local rag gave it five stars out of five. 5/5. I can't remember the last time he gave a perfect score, but it sure wasn't for a scifi or fantasy movie. That alone makes me smell a heaping pile of BS from a hundred miles away.

Blogger jarheadljh December 18, 2019 2:46 PM  

Unknownsailor wrote:furor kek tonicus ( Tessa Majors enjoyed all the benefits of Toxic Diversity ) wrote:sorry, there's no way Star Wars ranks higher than Empire.

and for all of the fun of the original release Star Wars, it was mostly the mind blowing practical FX that carried that one. story wise, the cheese is sharp ( although not Lucas Extra Sharp ) in Ep4.

if you weren't there, you can't hardly imagine the shock when you first saw "No, I am your father. Search your feelings, you know it to be true" in the theater. you gotta remember, we didn't have the internet or 24/7 "entertainment news" and story leaks and this that and the other thing.

we had NO FREAKING IDEA that was coming. best heel turn ever.

you can still see a pretty good facsimile of that on youtube, with parents showing their kids or the like. but it's still not the same as a whole packed theater of people sitting there in the dark going, "What the ever living fuck just happened?"


I was there, I remember the gasp. I was 9.


I watched it on laserdisc. ROTJ is my favorite of the trilogy because it's literally the second movie-theater experience that I remember. The first is a trailer for Disney's THE BLACK CAULDRON that opened for ROTJ. I separate them because they both stand out in my memory.

I liked the AppleIIe version of Black Cauldron, but didn't realize it was a series of novels until I stumbled into them in the school library in eight grade. Rather excitedly bought the VHS copy of the film only to find it teeth grindingly bad.

Blogger Sterling Pilgrim December 18, 2019 3:49 PM  

Wow, that didn't take long... https://www.msn.com/en-us/movies/news/new-star-wars-on-course-for-worst-reviews-since-e2-80-98phantom-menace-e2-80-99/ar-BBY6WML

Blogger Daniel December 18, 2019 8:06 PM  

Rotten deleted a lotvof bad reviews.
So it is even worse

Blogger Daniel December 18, 2019 8:21 PM  

It could have been awesome

Blogger Nux December 19, 2019 12:52 PM  

Actually Rise received exceedingly mixed reviews. I wonder why Disney didn't just buy some good reviews ala TLJ? /s

Blogger Chris Lopes December 19, 2019 3:57 PM  

The mixed reviews are because Abrams tossed most of what Johnson did into the pit of Mount Doom. Skywalker is Abrams' version of ROTJ, like The Force Awakens was his version of ANH. Very clumsy fan service.

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