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Saturday, July 11, 2020

An observation

If you hear your lawyer saying either of these two phrases, you'd do well to fire him on the spot. And also recognize that you're headed for defeat.
  • Your Honor, we still feel that we have a very strong case....
  • It could be argued....
In both cases, you're dealing with a lawyer who already knows he is beaten, but isn't prepared to tell the client yet for fear that the checks will stop arriving. No one is more doughty in defeat than a lawyer.

Of course, there is a third phrase that is even worse.
  • We can absolutely appeal this!
I won't comment on the 72 Bears lawsuit, except to say that I feel good, and I'm not scared at all. I just feel kind of... kind of invincible. Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?

29 comments:

  1. Did Patreon's legal vampires say all three last night?

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  2. Yep, still not tired of winning.

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  3. We have missed you vox and can't wait for the good news. I assume you have been busy this week whippin dey buttz

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  4. It's an opening for a new sitcom Gamma Lawyer

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  5. I assume the pertinent rulings haven't posted yet? I've been enjoying watching Patreon - a company rapidly burning through capital with an unsustainable business model - argue the Bears are a bad credit risk.

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  6. Depends on the situation.

    Let's say you are in a due process type hearing and I know the panel is rigged against you. My task is to make sure their mistakes and slant are documented (in some cases using the client's money to hire our own court reporter). Because you are going to lose step one in those cases, the appeal (or the real court case) based on that record are what matters.

    A lot of times when the steamroller is running they make mistakes following their own rules. If you are rigging the conclusion, why would an administrator or doctor or HR chick also follow the disclosure rules or perfectly follow their own notice rules? For that matter, lawyers who are government hearing officers, in many cases, are so used to screwing people over and 'adjusting'the record that they fail when you hold them to the standard.

    However, I have a checklist of what we want/need going in, and try to manage client expectations and tell them, sometimes over and over, why I am not going full table pounding or Matlock. I am just introducing our evidence and highlighting the mistakes and unfairness.

    Sometimes they are perfect and you lose, sometimes you know they were perfect and you don't waste the client's money going to the second step.

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  7. Patreon, another victim of the bear market.

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  8. When you don't have the law, argue the facts.
    When you don't have the facts, argue the law.
    When you have neither, baffle them with bullshit.

    But if you have both, go for the jugular and take no prisoners.

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  9. Ready to shake the Pillars of Gammadom. (Good movie, offbeat and cool).

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  10. The case of the 72 Bears is a POS. It is sometimes maddening and sometimes hilarious that people engaging in such tactics put on all that fake moral outrage. Parlour tricks.

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  11. "Be a Hard Target". It keeps coming back to this. Elegant in its simplicity.

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  12. Mess with the Supreme Dark Lord's Six Demon Bag, at your peril.

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  13. When you argue in pa 4 of your complaint that the court has jurisdiction, then in pa 55 argue that the non California defendants do not have standing under California Code of Civil Procedure. Then yes you have a big problem, you can not sue someone then claim they have no standing.

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  14. The proper alternatives:

    "The plaintiff is prepared to move forward and prosecute the case vigorously" (Your feelings don't matter in court, just your actions)

    "The plaintiff argues" or "the defense seems to be arguing" (There's no place for "could be argued" because either one side or the other IS arguing it, or it is irrelevant)

    "If you rule for the defense, we believe that would be reversable error under XXXX and XXXX." (The judge doesn't care if you are going to waste money and time on an appeal, he just cares about whether or not you will win that appeal.)

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  15. If I'm ever in legal trouble, I'll be sure to hire the legends that managed to get Cardinal Pell out of jail after the witch hunt and government sponsored slander against him for over a decade. You want lawyers that intend to win the case, not lawyers that take the paycheck and move on to the next client. Lawyers need more skin in the game.

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  16. That was the funniest stuff I have read all day! True, it's early yet, but it looks pretty promising.

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  17. We can absolutely appeal this! = I'll get you next time, Gadget!

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  18. Will the Legal Legion appear in an upcoming Alt Hero comic?

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  19. Lawyers are officers of the court and they know personally all the other permanent fixtures in there. It's the clients who keep changing. Why would their first loyalty be to a client?

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  20. The more I hear of the legal system, the more I'm liking the idea of replacing it with a Thunderdome type process. You should be able to either fight on your own behalf, or high a professional gladiator to represent you. No cloud of word bullshit to hide behind, it's all resolved pretty fast, and your "lawyer" is likely to fight harder for you since failure means his death.

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  21. I can't help but imagine this as an actual Ålthing with y'all in bear skins, Vox with skull epaulets on his mechanical suit meeting at the lamé Patreon booth. Berskinasaga perhaps.

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  22. @24

    >> The more I hear of the legal system, the more I'm liking the idea of replacing it with a Thunderdome type process. You should be able to either fight on your own behalf, or high a professional gladiator to represent you. No cloud of word bullshit to hide behind, it's all resolved pretty fast, and your "lawyer" is likely to fight harder for you since failure means his death.


    That would devolve into gangsterism very, VERY quickly.

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  23. Do continue to “look the big ‘ol Storm right square in the eye.”
    DEUS VULT

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  24. Taking over an organization is MUCH simpler than building a competitor from the ground up.

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