Monday, October 19, 2020

Mr. Toobin is very excited about your ideas

Really? How excited is he?

Funny you should ask....

The New Yorker has suspended reporter Jeffrey Toobin. Sources tell VICE it’s because he exposed himself during a Zoom call last week between members of the New Yorker and WNYC radio.

Toobin said in a statement to Motherboard: “I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers.”

“I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video,” he added.

UPDATE: In a stunning 'correction' from Vice, which ratchets this story up to '11' on the Spinal Tap amplifier of WTF-ness, "This piece has been updated with more detail about the call and the headline has been updated to reflect that Toobin was masturbating."

Remember, these are the people who believe they are our moral and cultural superiors. Notice that CNN has only "suspended" the freakshow, when they should have fired him immediately.

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Blogger Karen took the Kids October 19, 2020 6:30 PM  

These 'Early Life' Wikipedia confirmations are getting too easy.

Blogger Billy October 19, 2020 6:31 PM  

Such a whacky guy.

Blogger johndoe03526 October 19, 2020 6:40 PM  

A lot of these pervs seem to come from a similar ethnicity.

Blogger Rocklea Marina October 19, 2020 6:42 PM  


Blogger jkmack October 19, 2020 6:47 PM

Blogger Brick Hardslab October 19, 2020 6:48 PM  

Who is this guy, Cyril Figgis? Just whacking it...

Blogger doctrev October 19, 2020 6:51 PM  

You're enjoying this IMMENSELY, aren't you.

Blogger Rhino Bear October 19, 2020 6:54 PM  

Squirtboys gonna squirt

Blogger Tom October 19, 2020 6:58 PM  

What a jerk

Blogger Dave in Ahia October 19, 2020 6:58 PM  

Was he "investigating" Hunter Bidens' e-mails?

Blogger Watchu talkin bout Willis October 19, 2020 7:03 PM  

Toobin should have left his tube in.

Blogger berb2000 October 19, 2020 7:05 PM  

But here is the thing man, he is a respected journalist. He always tells the truth, so whatever he has done really doesn't matter. It's his explanation exonerating himself that matters.
Of course we all know that.
I await the return of Toobin on bended knee!

Blogger Crunchy Cachalot October 19, 2020 7:06 PM  

That's what happens when you have Only Fans open in another tab.

Blogger ThatWouldBeTelling October 19, 2020 7:08 PM  

"Jeffrey Toobin Called Andrew Breitbart’s Claims About Anthony Weiner ‘Outrageous’"

@1 Karen took the Kids: I've read a claim that Wikipedians are discussing systematically deleting that information. It is, as you say, too easy, and to the point the words "Early Life" have become a part of the lexicon.

@3 At least in how open their perversity is.

Blogger Troy Lee Messer October 19, 2020 7:09 PM  

This is short story.

Blogger VFM #7634 October 19, 2020 7:17 PM  

He's one of those guys who sends dick pics to women on dating apps.

Blogger Ahnaf Ibn Qais October 19, 2020 7:18 PM  

Reason Trump will win via Trump-slide #7861: The Whores and Charlatans of the Media are already exposed and the People have "wised up" to them. Their fake polls and fake "experts" (The Nate Silvers and Jeffrey Toobins of the world) have long been dumped in the landfill.

Blogger Balkan Yankee October 19, 2020 7:24 PM  

Captain Toobin's Motto: If you can't control yourself, control others (unless you get caught in the act and must take an indefinite leave of absence).

Blogger Maniac October 19, 2020 7:30 PM  

Funimation actor caught with his pants down too:

Two kinds of people you never trust: bisexuals and male Feminists.

Blogger JD Curtis October 19, 2020 7:30 PM  

Just scrolled through his Twitter feed.
Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

Blogger Lazarus October 19, 2020 7:31 PM  

Your headline has forever changed my reaction to the phrase "very excited about".

Toobin has been suspended while we investigate the matter What, are there EXTENUATING circumstances?

Statement from CNN: "Jeff Toobin has asked for some time to get off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted.”

Blogger Argus Bacchus October 19, 2020 7:36 PM  

"UPDATE: In a stunning 'correction' from Vice, which ratchets this story up to '11' on the Spinal Tap amplifier of WTF-ness"

Right about now Toobin might be wishing he was one of Spinal Tap's drummers...

Blogger Azimus October 19, 2020 7:40 PM  

Thats why you ALWAYS stick a little piece of tape over the camera and don't count on that little light... you really don't want your coworkers to see your RBF, or picking your nose, or masturbating, or rolling your eyes... always so awkward the next day...

Blogger Crunchy Cachalot October 19, 2020 7:44 PM  

"Toobin is a longtime friend of U.S. Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan"

And really, really don't want to know what was on that other tab now.

Blogger John Cunningham October 19, 2020 7:44 PM  

Too in was consulting the renowned Prof. Jacques Mihoff, no doubt.

Blogger LM October 19, 2020 7:50 PM  

Whenever I read something like this I check Wikipedia, and lo and behold: "Toobin was born to a Jewish family [4] in New York City in 1960,[5] the son of Marlene Sanders, former ABC News and CBS News correspondent, and Jerome Toobin, a news broadcasting producer.[6]"

Shocking, I know.

Blogger Ken Prescott October 19, 2020 8:03 PM  

My new laptop has a privacy shield built into the camera, you just slide it over the lens.

Blogger Brett baker October 19, 2020 8:10 PM  

Will he describe himself as a hands-on guy in the future?

Blogger Unknown October 19, 2020 8:20 PM  

In his _Intellectuals_ Paul Johnson tells about an influential leftist publisher, Victor Gollancz, who routinely took out his johnson in his office with people there.

In her autobiography Shirley Temple said MGM producer Arthur Freed dropped trou in his office when she was a washed-up teenager begging him for a comeback. She laughed at what she saw, so he threw her out.

The Backstreet Boys' producer Lou Pearlman reportedly liked to open his bathrobe and tell the Boys to "come and get it."

And we all know about Weiner and his compulsive photography hobby, and Harvey Weinstein and potted plants.

Can't find this aspect of "the ordeal of civility" in my Cuddihy, but there seem to be many such cases.

Blogger Avalanche October 19, 2020 8:22 PM  

Isn't it Q who wrote that some people won't be able to walk down the street.

Blogger God Emperor Memes October 19, 2020 8:27 PM  


Blogger God Emperor Memes October 19, 2020 8:29 PM  

How is this differentiated from the verbal masturbation articles published by Vice?

Blogger Crew October 19, 2020 8:56 PM  

I am so glad I was not on that Zoom call!

Blogger RickZ October 19, 2020 9:02 PM  


Such a whacky guy.

I think you meant to say, "Such a whack job."

Blogger Doktor Jeep October 19, 2020 9:29 PM  

The looks on the faces of the others in the zoom call had me laughing my ass for for half an hour.

Blogger FakeAssMoonLanding October 19, 2020 9:31 PM  

Owen Benjamin batting 1.000 yet again, these are the type of people who push mask wearing. Toobin has obviously been pushing covid and masks for 7 months, along with all his other pervert friends.

Blogger FredFarkle October 19, 2020 9:41 PM  


Blogger An Orthodox Christian October 19, 2020 9:43 PM  

"Wait, I was only demonstrating that Bill Gates stole the name of his company from meee!"

Blogger Joeplanet October 19, 2020 9:58 PM  

This kind of stuff doesn’t really affect ticket takers now does it? He will disappear for a while but will be back because he is completely comped.

Blogger scimitar October 19, 2020 10:01 PM  

Zoom = Spanktravision

Blogger Rambam October 19, 2020 10:01 PM  

“I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers.”

Hilarious! Thought I was off camera, so I whipped it out for a quickie. Is the wife sidelined with a yeast infection or something?

Blogger Brian Dean October 19, 2020 10:04 PM  

"Remember, these are the people who believe they are our moral and cultural superiors. "

Well, at least they can put a whole new meaning, that probably no scholar before has ever considered, to the famous playwright Shake-Spear.

Blogger Silent Draco October 19, 2020 10:05 PM  

Ours is a true-speaking and gracious SDL, helping us to see the truth in such cases. Now we need brain bleach.

Blogger dds October 19, 2020 10:20 PM  

ClownWorld™ 2020:

now trending.......

Blogger WoodlandWashingWashington October 19, 2020 10:25 PM  

When he is going to cry antisemitism?

Blogger tdcommenter October 19, 2020 10:33 PM  

Which works better:
Jeffrey "The Lubin' " Toobin
Jeffrey Toolbin

Blogger Damelon Brinn October 19, 2020 10:44 PM  

Thought I was off camera, so I whipped it out for a quickie.

Not just that. He was getting off on the feeling that he was doing it in their faces.

But he's only suspended. It's not like he did something really bad that would justify a firing, like addressing someone with the wrong pronoun.

Blogger jeffinjapan October 19, 2020 10:49 PM  

"When he is going to cry antisemitism?" Soon I'm sure.

Blogger Arcane Rhino October 19, 2020 11:16 PM  

He could not delay self-gratification until after the meeting? I cannot comprehend this. Is he not actually sentient? I guess someone just needs to spray him down with a hose.

Blogger Crew October 19, 2020 11:25 PM  

Did Toobin fall on his sword to distract from the Biden Crime Family revelations?

Blogger Rattlesnake_Kid October 19, 2020 11:29 PM  

@29 Every. Single. One.

Blogger tublecane October 19, 2020 11:32 PM  

@1- For Chosenites, yes. And for anyone with even a thimbleful of non-whiteness to brag about. More and more, certain people will regret bragging.

It's to the point where one can tell a subject is of Whitebread European stock by a mere absence of evidence in the opening paragraph.

Blogger tublecane October 19, 2020 11:44 PM  

@29- Ordeal of Civility is about Freud, Marx, and Claude Levi-Strauss. I don't know much about the latter, but as for the other two:

Freud - had an affair with his sister in-law

Marx - knocked up his maid under the same roof where he lived with his family

Blogger OGRE October 19, 2020 11:48 PM  

when you don't even have to look at the 'early life' section to know...

Blogger furor kek tonicus ( The first rule of Dunning-Kruger Club is that she don't know she's in Dunning-Kruger Club ) October 19, 2020 11:56 PM  

49. Arcane Rhino October 19, 2020 11:16 PM
He could not delay self-gratification until after the meeting?

as others have alluded too, he's a pervert who is GETTING OFF on the idea that he's masturbating over all of his colleagues and co-workers.

it's not a question of "why can't he wait?", doing it in the middle of the meeting is the whole point.

now, ask yourself, what would Jeffrey Toobin do to your children if he had unsupervised access to them?

Blogger Dave W. October 20, 2020 12:05 AM  

He needs to become a verb. "He was toobin on Zoom."

Blogger Dave W. October 20, 2020 12:08 AM  

Also, what will CNN do now without their chief legal analyst?

Even better: Revenge is a dish best served cold.

OJ Simpson, the subject of extensive reporting from Toobin during the murder case in the mid-1990’s, had to get a punch in:

Blogger T.L. Ciottoli October 20, 2020 12:09 AM  

We have come to the point where we must assume that ALL Democrats and leftists are deviants and perverts, seriously deficient in self-control and/or respect for human decency... until proven otherwise.

Blogger Joe October 20, 2020 12:09 AM  

These sorts of things are sometimes humiliation rituals.

Blogger owlish October 20, 2020 12:19 AM  

And as if we're going for maximum weirdness, it reportedly happened while various staff at the New Yorker were wargaming the presidential election.

Blogger Noah B. October 20, 2020 12:25 AM  

A rare moment of honesty from a reporter.

Blogger Brian Dean October 20, 2020 12:35 AM  

@33 "Wait, I was only demonstrating that Bill Gates stole the name of his company from meee!"

No, I can tell you where Bill Gates got the name of his company. Do you remember back in the 1980s PCs that some people had floppy dicks and some people had hard dicks? Well, in the case of Bill Gates, he had Microsoft.

Blogger Zeroh Tollrants October 20, 2020 12:55 AM  

Fun story about Toobin- he started dating much young woman yrs ago whose father was Toobin's pal. He was with her for a number of years, & got pregnant. Toobin dumped her and claimed the kid wasn't his, get a paternity test. She had to go thru hell for a long time as Toobin used all of his dirty tribal lawfare against her.
Spoiler alert- he WAS the father.
A genuinely nasty piece of work, he must make his co-ethnics so proud with his evil pilpul.

Blogger Gallant October 20, 2020 1:54 AM  

At least Kurt Eichenwald had the decency to aim the camera away

Blogger Gregory the Tall October 20, 2020 3:13 AM  

In 2012 he wrote this book:

"A Vast Conspiracy: The Real Story of the Sex Scandal That Nearly Brought Down a President"

Can we call this prophetic projection?

Blogger r7h93 October 20, 2020 5:18 AM  

WFH == Whack From Home

Blogger McChuck October 20, 2020 5:42 AM  


Go figure. What are the odds?

Blogger Dan in Georgia October 20, 2020 6:19 AM  

EXTENUATING circumstances were "Super Male Vitality", but you have to say it in Alex Jones' voice.

Blogger Dan in Georgia October 20, 2020 6:24 AM  

No, he was watching her and her yoga instructor on a hidden camera.*

*I have no idea but it's a better explanation than anything else I've heard.

Blogger Dan in Georgia October 20, 2020 6:27 AM  

Yeah, Joe owes him big now. Press Secretary for the Biden admin that will never happen? I'll bet anything Toobin is confident Biden is winning and no one will remember this.

Blogger boogeyman October 20, 2020 6:52 AM  

To expose ones genitals and/or masturbate while unknowingly or inadvertently being recorded by an electronic device such that the act is broadcast live over the net.

Example; "Bob thought the conference call was over and his laptop camera was off when he stupidly pulled a Toobin, shocking the clients and angering his boss."

Blogger FallofthaEmpire October 20, 2020 7:55 AM  

McChuck wrote:Jewish




Go figure. What are the odds?

Yep, those things don't necessarily work in his favor. Probably did it for better ratings since CNN has been in the dumps for quite a while now.

Blogger jkmack October 20, 2020 10:05 AM  

Is the ficus plant ok?

Blogger Daniele Grech Pereira October 20, 2020 10:24 AM  

That update was the perfect punch line. Up until that point, I had been thinking "meh a naked boomer, kinda feel sorry for him".

Blogger Canadian Warlord October 20, 2020 3:33 PM  

Bullet points (so to speak):

All these things require extra special protection and separate government consideration because reasons. Those reasons are becoming impossible to hide. One could say that the timing of this exact circumstance seems contrived, or maybe this general scenario is happening all the time.

Blogger Naaaaaaaah I'm Good October 20, 2020 4:03 PM  

When O.J. SIMPSON, of all people, comes for you.

2020 doesn't disappoint, now does it.

Blogger Bezzle October 21, 2020 12:03 AM  

This works-in-media guy doesn't know that Zoom is live video chat after, I would assume, using it for the past six months to coordinate with his colleagues in locked-down New York? He picked this one day after a hundred to go pantsless? Doesn't know to tape over the camera on his computer?

Uh huh.

This smacks of a DECLAS-threatened deal-you-can't-refuse humiliating retirement package. I certainly hope that's the case.

Blogger Writer of Britain October 21, 2020 2:13 AM  

The people of the media, journalism, and mainstream-entertainment spheres are no different in the UK. They berate 'extremism', 'online bullying' and more, yet, live clown lives of dysfunction that are reported about via The Sun Newspaper and similar tabloids.

Yes I am using newspapers to back up my point...but they don't report dishonestly all the time, right?

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