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Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Black Anne Boleyn

The House of Tudor wuz kangz:

Jodie Turner-Smith has been spotted as Anne Boleyn for the first time while filming a Channel 5 drama that its producers say seeks to 'challenge conventions' and shine a 'feminist light' on her story.  

Turner-Smith, a black actress born in Britain, is portraying Anne who was the second wife of English King Henry VIII, whom he famously had beheaded in 1536. 

Boleyn, who was the white daughter of English nobility, is also one of the key causes of the English Reformation and the mother of Queen Elizabeth I. 

She was executed by Henry for high treason after failing to produce a male heir. 

Producers Fable Pictures say the drama 'challenges all the conventions of who we think Anne Boleyn was and shines a feminist light on her story. 

In related news, Fable Pictures announced it will be filming a documentary about Michelle Obama for Netflix, starring Owen Benjamin as the former First Lady.

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108 Comments:

Blogger YehudaL December 15, 2020 4:41 AM  

Owen could never play Mic Obama, 5'11''

No need to insult the BB.

Blogger Baldwin Bear December 15, 2020 4:46 AM  

I would actually pay good money to Netflix to watch 6ft 8” Owen Benjamin play Michele Obama in a tv show.
In fact can UATV make it a Christmas special.

Blogger God Emperor Memes December 15, 2020 4:46 AM  

Well, at least we know it has a happy ending.

Blogger Akulkis December 15, 2020 4:49 AM  

Daily Mail can't even write comprehensible English:

"Turner-Smith, a black actress born in Britain, is portraying Anne who was the second wife of English King Henry VIII, whom he famously had beheaded in 1536.”

That should read:

...whom famously had her beheaded.


The way the DM article's author wrote that sentence, it implies that Henry VIII was beheaded on orders from an unusually name male, Anne Boleyn.

To the DM author of this tripe, I will repeat the words of one SGT Rodriguez to a certain CPT Folz, HHC company commander, who reprimanded said sergeant for not completing a 10 hour task (pmcs-ing a bunch of humvees that were already loaded and chained onto flatbed trucks ... In the dead of night, by himself) in 30 minutes: "Sir, you're fucked up! You're so fucked up you don't even know you're fucked up. And that's what's really fucked up."

Epilogue:
SGT Rodriguez was immediately relieved from his position, and found a new home in the Logistics Ops section under a certain CPT McCUE, who greatly enjoyed SGT Rodriguez and his keen insight.

Blogger Baldwin Bear December 15, 2020 4:50 AM  

I would actually pay good money to Netflix to watch 6ft 8” Owen Benjamin play Michele Obama in a tv show.
In fact can UATV make it a Christmas special.

Blogger Baldwin Bear December 15, 2020 4:54 AM  

I would actually pay good money to Netflix to watch 6ft 8” Owen Benjamin play Michele Obama in a tv show.
In fact can UATV make it a Christmas special.

Blogger Baldwin Bear December 15, 2020 4:55 AM  

I would actually pay good money to Netflix to watch 6ft 8” Owen Benjamin play Michele Obama in a tv show.
In fact can UATV make it a Christmas special.

Blogger JC Skinner December 15, 2020 4:55 AM  

"Widely believed to be white."
Next stop - "may have been".

Blogger Unknown December 15, 2020 4:56 AM  

Yo, Turner-Smith. Ask to play Anne Frank next. It's a top role, and only a racist would object to a black woman doing it. I can't WAIT for you to give the world your Anne Frank!

Blogger NP_see December 15, 2020 4:57 AM  

Let the blackwashing begin!

Blogger Bernard Korzeniewicz December 15, 2020 5:00 AM  

VD, does Mrs. BigBear know about this?
With tis one info the BigBear home life may turn to be more violative then the 2020 Election.

Blogger DanF December 15, 2020 5:05 AM  

Owen will need to shove a sock in his pants to portray Michael properly.

Blogger DanF December 15, 2020 5:05 AM  

Owen will need to shove a sock in his pants to portray Michael properly.

Blogger Baldwin Bear December 15, 2020 5:06 AM  

Owen would need to get to the gym and bulk those shoulders up before he could play big Mike.

Blogger Ghog December 15, 2020 5:11 AM  

Perfect

Blogger Iskander Magnus December 15, 2020 5:13 AM  

I used to harbour a niggling worry that Henry VIII was racist. I’m so relieved by this reassuring casting decision. At least it secures the safety of all his statues from BLM etc.

Blogger Dan in Georgia December 15, 2020 5:14 AM  

Owen will never be the man that Big Mike is.

In other news, Big Mike will be featured in new ads for Gorilla-brand Duct tape.

Blogger Teleport me off this rock December 15, 2020 5:14 AM  

Great DM comment: "Will there be riots when she is executed?"

Blogger Unknown December 15, 2020 5:17 AM  

As long as the next Hitler documentary (as we all know an Hitler documentary hasn't been made for over a week so another one is jew!) Is played by a strong single black female queen mother of 20 and all have different baby daddy's then I for one have no problem with blacks playing white historical figures..MLK (I'm not milking it btw.)Played by Warwick Davis would be fantastic and an step in the right direction for rase relations. Yours sincerely james in Margate England!....TRUMP SMASH...

Blogger Steve Canyon December 15, 2020 5:19 AM  

Went with the safe bet and not with RuPaul. How brave. How daring. How half woke.

Blogger A trite re-white December 15, 2020 5:20 AM  

Ahhh fiddlesticks! BB playing second fiddle again, drat.

Blogger Brett baker December 15, 2020 5:20 AM  

"There was always something off about the Benjamin boy".

Blogger George D. December 15, 2020 5:26 AM  

I'd watch Owen as Michelle Obama any day of the week.

Anonymous Anonymous December 15, 2020 5:27 AM  

A giant bear of a man playing Big Mike Obama is closer to reality.

In any case, I’m sure Mary Beard has approved this portrayal. Perhaps we will all live long enough to see a historical drama of medieval Japanese court life starring Somalians.

Blogger Ibelin December 15, 2020 5:29 AM  

I hear Harry Styles is playing Ghandi soon

Blogger Rocklea Marina December 15, 2020 5:51 AM  

Owen will shine playing Big Mike. And Sunny and Bo will be portrayed by two of the family goats who identify as, well, goats. But that doesn't mean they couldn't be dogs.

Blogger Arthur Isaac December 15, 2020 5:53 AM  

Does Owen have the arms for that role? He been juicing?

Blogger lynnjynh9315 December 15, 2020 5:53 AM  

Clown world.

Blogger Steve Samson December 15, 2020 5:58 AM  

starring Owen Benjamin as the former First Lady.

Please, PLEASE make this film!

Blogger boogeyman December 15, 2020 6:04 AM  

Big Mike should be portrayed by someone tall enough to fill "her" shoes.

Blogger dangerdog December 15, 2020 6:05 AM  

Owen portraying the former first lady? How much do you want to make this happen?

Blogger Br1cht December 15, 2020 6:08 AM  

How brave of them.. Imagine to have the courage to to take those 30 silver.

Guess we can take solace in seeing Owen shine. Only thing I´d recommend a serious training schedule so he can sport as impressive Latisimus dorsi as ol´Big Mike.

Blogger Unknown December 15, 2020 6:11 AM  

Michigan's governor sealed the state legislature for the meeting of the electors, where she had the Black National Anthem played for their vote.

2030 is going to get rather sporty, I expect. Interesting so many on the bad people side have the same skin color or nose. Almost like it is a plan or something.

Blogger Cluttermonkey December 15, 2020 6:30 AM  

Negative attention is the best kind of attention.

Blogger Tomato bear December 15, 2020 6:30 AM  

Hmm, in that case Barack will be among the horde of Gammas later.

Blogger Mirko i Slavko December 15, 2020 6:39 AM  

I wonder if Henry was right and "failing to produce a male heir" was intentional.

Blogger CM December 15, 2020 6:46 AM  

Huh. I thought the story of AB was always a feminist story.

Blogger NoobishTitan December 15, 2020 6:50 AM  

Nah Owen's too short

Blogger Cappuccinobear December 15, 2020 6:51 AM  

They forgot to make her a tranny.

Blogger David McCarthy December 15, 2020 6:55 AM  

Michelle played by OB aka The Super Sized Sow?

Just joshin Owen..

Blogger Paddy Bourne December 15, 2020 6:57 AM  

You can't make this stuff up!

Blogger Doktor Jeep December 15, 2020 7:01 AM  

Das racist. Wesley Snipes should play the Michelle Obama role if he's tall enough.

Blogger Avalanche December 15, 2020 7:03 AM  

"starring Owen Benjamin as the former First Lady."

Now THAT'S a movie I'd pay to see! But I think I'd rather see the Big Bear as a Chinese scientist working on going to the moon!

Blogger bramley bramley bramley December 15, 2020 7:05 AM  

a black actress born in Britain

At least they are honest, she was only born in Britain, and is not British.

Historical fact is not 'convention', and in no way does it require 'challenge'. I suggest they should 'challenge' a helicopter that they can defy 'convention' and survive a fall from it at 10,000ft, or something constructive like that...

Blogger Harambe December 15, 2020 7:06 AM  

Owen isn't ripped enough to play a convincing Michelle Obama

Blogger Raker_T December 15, 2020 7:08 AM  

"With friends like that, who needs enemies?"

Blogger RobertDWood December 15, 2020 7:15 AM  

5th wave feminism is black?

Blogger Eula December 15, 2020 7:16 AM  

Wow. I'm speechless. What's next—white men will be cast as Othello for a few centuries?

Blogger Heath Duane Whitaker December 15, 2020 7:17 AM  

Listen Vox, it’s bad enough that you bother the Man’s goats, but now this? HOW DARE YOU

Blogger Dark Herald December 15, 2020 7:19 AM  

Is that the one with Judie Dench as Henry VIII?

...


That was supposed to be a joke but now that I think about it, I'd actually like to see that one.

Blogger Silly but True December 15, 2020 7:23 AM  

Netflix released its open screen test for actresses to play Michelle Obama:
https://youtu.be/aHBbInxJ4Is

Blogger jrapdx December 15, 2020 7:23 AM  

Ho-hum. Aren't we used to this sort of nonsense by now? Sadly hyper-political-correctness has invaded nearly every venue, including theater, film, visual arts and is rapidly destroying the medical fields, including journals priding themselves on being top-dog "scientific".

Anyway, casting "persons-of-color" at any cost to logic, historic fact or artistic integrity, and irrespective of talent, contributes to demise of art forms until such time that an artist defies conformity, produces genuinely great work. Though that artist will probably be shunned and cut off from venues reserved for the "elite"-favored hacks that willingly conform.

Since the entertainment value has become nil among the pseudo-arts, why pay attention to them at all? Best to ignore the terrible productions. It makes the rare genuine work stand out like a thousand watt lamp on a dark night.

Blogger AgiS December 15, 2020 7:25 AM  

One has to at least appreciate their efforts at making comedy great again.

Blogger B December 15, 2020 7:25 AM  

I think Owen Benjamin will make a GREAT First Lady! And RazorFist would make a GREAT Shaka Zulu! We should start a GoFundMe page to kick-start production...

Blogger Yossarian December 15, 2020 7:35 AM  

DAS RITE

Blogger Attila is my bro December 15, 2020 7:37 AM  

>>Turner-Smith, a black actress born in Britain...

Huh. She's not British. They must be reading Vox Day.

Blogger Done with it all December 15, 2020 7:39 AM  

Call me old fashioned but I think the actor should be cast with closeness in appearance a key to solid casting of a character as it draws you in to the story and makes it more real and believable that you are actually seeing the real person on the big screen. I propose Shaquille O'Neil as Michelle Obama.

Blogger Cinqueports December 15, 2020 7:51 AM  

Casting black actors/actresses in white roles has become banal; hardly a challenge to convention.
At least she gets to play an adulterous home-wrecker with six fingers. Some feminist.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan December 15, 2020 7:54 AM  

8340 comments and unmoderated at that, pretty much a click bait model of information production. I waded thru a few comments mainly those were mainly cleaned up Stormfronter types of witless outrage which probably gives the Left/Establishment types a small thrill. Maybe if a conservative intellectual typed out a 10,000 word essay on the real Anne B. then the Left/Establishment could get the thrill of a show trial, do your job conservative intellectuals.

I think we just need a new elite.

Blogger Mr Traumaboyy December 15, 2020 7:57 AM  

Coffee burns when exiting the nose!! You owe me a keyboard!! Merry CHRISTmas!!

Blogger Stilicho December 15, 2020 7:58 AM  

Or it could be the Queen sending a message to Markle

Blogger theartistformerlyknownasgeorge December 15, 2020 8:01 AM  

No offense to Owen, but will he be masculine enough for the role?

Blogger Doctor Boom December 15, 2020 8:03 AM  

Well, I can't get people I know here in the USA to turn-off sportsball, much less cut the chord - so I suppose I can't mock the Brits too badly as they're forced to support this crap through taxation (meaning of course matters not if you watch or not - the Beeb still gets paid).

Blogger Delaware Blue Hen December 15, 2020 8:07 AM  

Next we are about to find out that BLM actually started as a protest against the execution of Anne Boleyn.

Blogger Timelines Flying Monkeys December 15, 2020 8:11 AM  

I'm all out of eye rolls for 2020

Blogger aps December 15, 2020 8:11 AM  

"In related news, Fable Pictures announced it will be filming a documentary about Michelle Obama for Netflix, starring Owen Benjamin as the former First Lady."

A man pretending to be a woman, playing a man pretending to be a woman.

Blogger Nostromo December 15, 2020 8:12 AM  

They tried to sign Ellen/Elli ou t Page for the Michele Obama role but irony detectors started to spontaneously combust. Instead, Long Dong Silver was signed instead when he turned out to be a nearly perfect match. He has the right skin color, just as unattractive, but most importantly filled the ex-first ladies pants with the proper genitalia.

Blogger Rhino Bear December 15, 2020 8:24 AM  

HA. I love when Vox embraces his inner comedian.

Blogger Kraemer December 15, 2020 8:25 AM  

First "Lady"?

Blogger Blue Coin December 15, 2020 8:27 AM  

Owen Benjamin as Big Mike that's hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂

Blogger Blue Coin December 15, 2020 8:28 AM  

Owen Benjamin as Big Mike that's hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂

Blogger Maniac December 15, 2020 8:37 AM  

I don't think Owen is muscular enough.

Blogger VFM Bear December 15, 2020 8:37 AM  

Also starring the SDL as President Obama.

Blogger Anonoly December 15, 2020 8:38 AM  

OB as the FLOTUS 😂

Blogger Dane December 15, 2020 8:49 AM  

Diversity is strength.
Now a Nigerian child in Kent watching BBC can feel proud being represented on tv. Knowing that the Egyptians, various british monarchs and even the many Senators and gladiators of Roman were African.

Here buzzfeed asks what if we lived in a world without Black inventions. Its start to finish lies and propoganda but at least little black kids can feel like they were British aristocracy or something
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0Z-IBZr_L4

Blogger JACIII December 15, 2020 8:52 AM  

What must it be like to belong to a people so devoid of history and consequence that other nations must pretend yourn are a part of theirn so that you may pretend yours were ever noteworthy?

Blogger Randomatos December 15, 2020 8:56 AM  

I love you Owen, but some roles are just hog-ducks by virtue of who you have to play. Don't let this one drive you back to opening five breweries, two vodka plants and a bourbon distillery. Or at least consult Nate on the distillery.

Blogger PJW Gent December 15, 2020 8:58 AM  

Re: "In related news, Fable Pictures announced it will be filming a documentary about Michelle Obama for Netflix, starring Owen Benjamin as the former First Lady."
That had me spitting up my coffee this morning. We all need a good laugh these days.

Blogger DroppingBear December 15, 2020 9:01 AM  

In this historic masterpiece. Boleyne was beheaded by an LAPD officer after being accused of liberating a bike.

Blogger B-Rex December 15, 2020 9:03 AM  

"The Michelle Bearbama Story - a Musical"

Id watch it

Blogger Watchu talkin bout Willis December 15, 2020 9:05 AM  

At this rate, we'll soon see a 65-year-old Samoan lesbian amputee playing Anne Frank.

Blogger pyrrhus December 15, 2020 9:08 AM  

Actually, I think Ann Boleyn was executed for adultery, but that could not be said at the time...

Blogger flyingtiger December 15, 2020 9:12 AM  

They should cast Dr Paul as Michelle Obama.

Blogger Crazy Dave December 15, 2020 9:22 AM  

"Who the devil made Anne Boleyn, that whore, the queen?"

- Fr James Harrison, Lancashire (1533)

Blogger thechortling December 15, 2020 9:28 AM  

Jupiter, Saturn and Dilbert all align.

Blogger Fabbat1713@aol.com December 15, 2020 9:28 AM  

Isn’t this “cultural appropriation”?

Blogger Fabbat1713@aol.com December 15, 2020 9:29 AM  

I don’t think Anne Frank existed. Her diary was written in ballpoint pen, which was not invented until years after WW2....

Blogger Delaware Blue Hen December 15, 2020 9:31 AM  

@82
Actually, the charges were adultery, incest (with her brother) and treason. The real reason (as Vox mentioned) was that Anne did not produce a son, but that is not a crime written in the law books.

Anne did produce one daughter, the future Queen Elizabeth I, who we must now assume was half black.

Blogger Zaklog the Great December 15, 2020 9:37 AM  

I dunno. Is Owen Benjamin masculine enough to play a good Michelle Obama?

Blogger Fishslinger_Bear December 15, 2020 9:45 AM  

Coddington I assume will play the role of Barry. Might be a hard sell, but Rogan would be perfect as Bo the dog and maybe Mikhaila Peterson as the oldest "daughter".

Blogger Doc December 15, 2020 9:46 AM  

Anniesha Boleyn....

Blogger RadixMalorum December 15, 2020 9:52 AM  

I'd pay to watch a biopic of Xi Jinping starring Owen Benjamin.

Blogger Cinqueports December 15, 2020 10:01 AM  

@82:
She was found guilty of adultery, incest and treason (adultery upon Henry VIII being treason by definition). According to Churchill, there was substantial evidence of the charges (although "enhanced interrogation" was the norm then).

Blogger Apoliteia December 15, 2020 10:09 AM  

@82

Only half correct, adultery was mentioned in charges against her. Not only that, she was also accused of incest and plotting against Henry's life, though all these were probably fabricated and her three miscarriages (and Henry already courting Jane Seymor) were the real reasons for getting rid of Anne.

Blogger Felis Concolor December 15, 2020 10:11 AM  

". . . documentary about Michelle Obama for Netflix, starring Owen Benjamin as the former First Lady."

I damn near had a wrong pipe moment with my coffee while reading that line; let's do it!

Blogger Pedro the Cat December 15, 2020 10:13 AM  

We are going to have to unseat the Happy Days sitcom for the term "jumping the shark".

Can we call it "beheading by the mudshark?"

Blogger Karen took the Kids December 15, 2020 10:20 AM  

Owen doesn't have the required shoulders for that biopic unfortunately.

Blogger Balkan Yankee December 15, 2020 10:25 AM  

Perversity is our strength!

Blogger Ozymandius December 15, 2020 10:42 AM  

How about a woke version of Lord Of the Rings? Gandalf the Black! Legolas played by John Leguizamo. Frodo is played by a transgender Asian. Sam struggles with his sexual attraction for Golum. The Orcs are benefitting from affirmative action. The Riders of Rohan are being taught White Fragility classes by Grima Wormtongue.

Sadly, this could happen.

Blogger SecondComingOfBast December 15, 2020 10:42 AM  

Michelle Obama would give all new meaning to the phrase "dicks out for Harimbe."

Blogger Elder Son December 15, 2020 11:02 AM  

The good news is, everyone involved with this, had they lived during the reign of King Henry VIII, would have lost their heads. The bad news, they are not.

P.S. King Henry, with all his marriages, was a feminist, just of the wrong gender. If the genders has been reversed, the feminists would have applauded it.

Blogger By My Greybeard! December 15, 2020 11:17 AM  

Perhaps as the first crowd-funded full-length film project?

Our family has almost zero extra funds in our budget, but we'd take to fasting 2 days a week for a month to help fund that!

~ Greybeard

Blogger Bryce December 15, 2020 1:00 PM  

I would watch a documentary with Big Bear as Michael.

Blogger Crew December 15, 2020 1:19 PM  

If this is correct it seems that some in Ireland have started to do the right thing:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-479146/Brutality-justice-The-truth-tarred-feathered-drug-dealer.html

Blogger Josh Brown December 15, 2020 5:36 PM  

I think it was one and the same for spouses of the monarch. Adultery is and was about bringing a 3rd party into a relationship but when one party was the monarch it was worse, a betrayal against the realm itself personified in the person of the King.

Blogger Josh Brown December 15, 2020 6:44 PM  

Black washing European history on stage and film in Europe and particularly the UK is well established: e.g. Achilles, Joan of Arc, Guinevere and now this. Guinevere, Gwen for short, is a Celtic name meaning Fair One!

Blogger The Pitchfork Rebel December 15, 2020 8:16 PM  

@16

I see what you did there. Excellent.

Blogger American Nationalist December 15, 2020 8:38 PM  

I saw they cast another black woman as a red-headed white character in the new "Black Adam" movie, and I got angry and showed it to a couple of coworkers. Next thing I know, I'm getting pulled into my boss's office to talk about how our words can be misinterpreted, and how diversity is our strength, so we need to remember our "different experiences." Luckily they had no ill will towards me and didn't actually do anything.

I'm a US Soldier.

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