Thursday, February 11, 2021

Amazon shows its allegiance

It's just a coincidence, of course, that all these Promethean organizations keep happening to select architectural designs that harken back to Mesopotamia:

Amazon has just unveiled the plans for its new corporate headquarters that will stand in Arlington, Virginia, directly across the Potomac River from Washington DC. The announcement inaccurately describes the design as a “double helix” but scholars of ancient history and the Bible will readily recognize the ancient model for the design: the Tower of Babel.

Construction on their second corporate headquarters is expected to begin next year and when completed in 2025 at a cost of $2.5 billion. It will include 2.8 million square feet of new office space distributed across three 22-story buildings. The location is less than four miles from the Capitol Building. John Schoettler,  head of Amazon’s global corporate real estate portfolio, announced the second half of the project designed by architecture firm NBBJ. 

“The natural beauty of a double helix can be seen throughout our world, from the geometry of our own DNA to the elemental form of galaxies, weather patterns, pinecones, and seashells,” the company said. “The Helix at our Arlington headquarters will offer a variety of alternative work environments for Amazon employees amidst lush gardens and flourishing trees native to the region.”

Though it is true that DNA is arranged in a double-helix, the architectural design is not, in fact, a double helix that appears like a ladder that has been twisted into a corkscrew. The design of the building is, perhaps, a single helix with a spiral walkway ascending the exterior of the building. The architectural design of the Amazon building does, in fact, closely resemble that of a ziggurat, a type of massive structure built in ancient Mesopotamia.

Jeff Bezos isn't exactly hiding it, is he. The EU parliamentary building in Strasbourg is also designed to recall the Tower of Babel, and intentionally so.

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Blogger WestByGod Bear February 11, 2021 8:12 AM  

"It will include 2.8 million square feet of new office space distributed across three 22-story buildings."

3 22-story buildings... so 66 total stories? Neat.

Blogger Dingus February 11, 2021 8:18 AM  

Looks more like a poo and less like a 16th c. imagining of the Tower of Babel that was really the Colosseum....

Blogger DadOfTen February 11, 2021 8:22 AM  

Nope. Looks like a poop emoji.

Blogger DadOfTen February 11, 2021 8:25 AM  

Since they will have trees and plants growing up the side like the great tower of Babylon, it looks like a poop emoji with green slime or fungus growing on it. And the people inside? They are the maggots you find in any sufficiently old pile of excrement. That building is a gift that just keeps giving!

Blogger Shawnesy February 11, 2021 8:27 AM  

That Amazon building looks like one of those fake dog poop gags. I wonder if we can convince the world to call it The Spiraling Dookie. That would be glorious!

Blogger NobobyExpects February 11, 2021 8:27 AM  

Wait until someone associates the shape of the new building with one certain, popular brown emoji.

Blogger Miguel Pereira February 11, 2021 8:28 AM  

The yellow stars in the central imagem has an odd shape.

Blogger basementhomebrewer February 11, 2021 8:31 AM  

It's always year 0 with these a-holes. "A new design!". It's an old design, an ancient design just as all of their ideas are ancient ideas. Satan has been around since just after the beginning so there is nothing new about his plans and designs.

Blogger MidnightSun February 11, 2021 8:33 AM  

I've never seen anything so ugly in my life. Of course it will be billed as the one of the greatest feats of modern architecture blah blah blah... But by trying to be 'different' and 'innovative' they destroy the good the true and beautiful. It couldn't be more obvious this travesty is just another creation by the petulant children of the father of lies.

Blogger Shimshon February 11, 2021 8:34 AM  

"...distributed across three 22-story buildings."

For a total of 66 stories. Just another coincidence, I'm sure.

Blogger Wiseagle February 11, 2021 8:34 AM  

As a wise man once said, "Jesus didn't die just so we could rebuild the tower of Babel".

Blogger T.L. Ciottoli February 11, 2021 8:35 AM  

May God crush His enemies.

Blogger Nate February 11, 2021 8:37 AM  

That abomination looks less like the Tower of Babel and more like soft serve ice cream.

I mean the Tower of Babel at least looked cool. This doesn't look cool at all. It looks like a mockery. I mean people are going to see this and call it the ice cream building.

Blogger Brijasher42 February 11, 2021 8:37 AM  

Interesting design choice. Looks more like the turd emoji than a grandiose tower.

Blogger Bernard Korzeniewicz February 11, 2021 8:41 AM  

... hint: do it like the Iranians did

Blogger Doktor Jeep February 11, 2021 8:44 AM  

Miles from the Capitol building as well. As if corporations will replace government. The intent goes beyond building design.
In the dystopia, Amazon will be the only retail system.
But as an extra FU from the dystopia, the last restaurant will be anything but Taco Bell.
Probably Popeyes from the look of things.

Blogger Teleport me off this rock February 11, 2021 8:45 AM  

I love that list of examples of the "natural beauty" of the double helix: one that's too small to see, one that's too far away to see, one that's too large to see, one that's not even a double helix as far as I know, and one that may or may not be, depending.

This is what happens when you ask people who never go outside to describe nature.

Blogger Solon February 11, 2021 8:45 AM  

Not even ice cream.
If so, it would have to be Hershey's Squirts (tm) flavored, if you're stepping in what im dropping.

Yes, that's two puns in one sentence. Why settle for one when you can go for (number) two?

Blogger Shimshon February 11, 2021 8:46 AM  

@1 Nate, maybe in Austin they'd call it that. In DC? It will command adulation. It cannot do otherwise. To do so would be to say the emperor has no clothes.

Blogger Shane Bradman February 11, 2021 8:47 AM  

It looks like a glittering turd.

Blogger Storm Rhode February 11, 2021 8:52 AM  

For modern architecture I like it. At 350 feet high I doubt God will be too offended at their feeble attempt to storm Heaven.

Blogger Ominous Cowherd February 11, 2021 8:54 AM  

Nate wrote:That abomination looks less like the Tower of Babel and more like soft serve ice cream.
Softserve, now with 100% more evil! And sprinkles!

Blogger Ominous Cowherd February 11, 2021 8:55 AM  

The good news here is that new headquarters buildings often are a precursor to corporate disaster, especially if they are architectural abominations.

Blogger Nate February 11, 2021 8:58 AM  

yeah... I didn't even think of the poop emoji.

its just further evidence that idiocracy is a documentary.

Blogger Nick February 11, 2021 8:59 AM  

So stupid.

Blogger Werekoala February 11, 2021 9:01 AM  

Looks like the ice cream on a Dairy Queen cone to me, at least that was my first thought.

Blogger Luis February 11, 2021 9:02 AM  

wtf! that's the poop emoji

Blogger Ghost of Nathan Bedford Forrest February 11, 2021 9:02 AM  

Looks like the Father of Lies will have a new temple. There is truly nothing new under the Sun.

Blogger John G. Beckham February 11, 2021 9:03 AM  

> amidst lush gardens and flourishing trees native to the region.

Interesting that they respect plant nationalism.

Blogger mgh February 11, 2021 9:27 AM  

This colossal waste of money is proof that they are too big. Companies with a healthy fear of their competition don't piss away money on fixed monuments.

Blogger Apoliteia February 11, 2021 9:28 AM  

Strange that there is no mention of it in the article; is it just me or don't the ascending tree levels vibe more of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon (that may in reality have been in Nineveh) than the biblical Tower of Babel? Perhaps they are trying to combine the two famous Zikkurats. Yet another tell of Satanic muddling.

May their trees wither and fallen leaves block their air conditioning vents.

Blogger Balkan Yankee February 11, 2021 9:37 AM  

A maintenance nightmare gussied up as an aim point.

Blogger RobertDWood February 11, 2021 9:41 AM  

It's location is proof the primary customer is FedGov, not the people

Blogger ThirdMonkey February 11, 2021 9:42 AM  

God laughs. Bezos' great achievement is but a swirling turd to Him.

Blogger SC Rebel February 11, 2021 9:45 AM  

Yes just a Cohencidence, nothing to see here, move along.

Blogger Karen took the Kids February 11, 2021 9:50 AM  

Modern architecture is disgusting

Blogger DadOfTen February 11, 2021 9:55 AM  

They will be GREEN buildings at HQ. They will use much less energy than most offices. So they save CO2. Except that they will have 25,000 people commuting to work.
Officially, not using cars to commute is the idea.
But they will have a helipad. That way executives coming to visit don't have to bother with traffic and those horrible polluting cars. After all, helicopters don't pollute, right?
There will be 2000 parking spaces in the complex which employees will pay to use. There are also plans for a lot of additional parking being built in the area.
Good job by Amazon. Pollution will go up substantially, but they get to claim that they have built a GREEN campus.

Blogger Angela February 11, 2021 10:00 AM  

Haha...poop emoji. I love you guys.

Blogger IAMSpartacus0000 February 11, 2021 10:00 AM  

Yeah either it's a glittering poop emoji or will be mistaken for the new headquarters of Dairy Queen

Blogger YATYASBear February 11, 2021 10:02 AM  

Honestly it looks like a polished pile of manure.

Blogger rumpole5 February 11, 2021 10:08 AM  

It will end up being leaky and moldy when it rains, and difficult or impossible to heat, cool, and maintain. Every component part will have to be specially manufactured, and will therefore be more expensive. When it becomes necessary to replace doors, windows, ducts, vents, and the like, no replacement parts will be available. Nuts!

Blogger Ingot9455 February 11, 2021 10:09 AM  

Why would any corporation build a building nowadays?

Blogger Silent Draco February 11, 2021 10:14 AM  

Find the "artist", or his successor, that wrapped so many iconic things in long swathes of fabric. Ask him to do this one with white fabric. It's -- Art! -- you can't take it down!

Blogger John Rockwell February 11, 2021 10:19 AM  

I thought they would build a Ziggurat(The original tower of Babel) like the one at Eridu that God stopped. But it seems they love the Circular Tower more.

Blogger John Rockwell February 11, 2021 10:19 AM  

Btw this building is hideous. Not beautiful like Gothic or Baroque Architecture or Classical.

Blogger guardianDogg February 11, 2021 10:20 AM  

Same devil new century. The more things change the more they stay the same.

Blogger wahr01 February 11, 2021 10:22 AM  

Remember when Obama deliberately stood the border guard down then toured Latin America saying "aw shucks please don't exploit this with huge caravans".

I would love to see a DeSantis standing down anti-terror and anti-ballistic defenses and tour various rogue zones saying "oh no, we seem to have a huge hole in our anti-nuclear net around D.C., please don't destroy a metro that only 9% of American's approve of."

Blogger RandyB February 11, 2021 10:24 AM  

Edifice Complex strikes again.

Blogger swiftfoxmark2 February 11, 2021 10:36 AM  

If you think that's bad, check out the IRS HQ in Maryland:

Blogger One Deplorable DT February 11, 2021 10:45 AM  

@37 - So when are conservatives, via an environmentalist front organization, going to sue the EPA and protest the site to block the construction on global warming grounds? Make the enemy live up to its own book of rules. We can't possibly allow construction of new buildings like this when mother Earth is dying! Besides, the pandemic has proven we can all work from home, and Jeff Bezos is a heartless SoB for risking grandma's life. His new building will be a super spreader and a super killer when the next covid mutation breaks out.

Blogger Newscaper312 February 11, 2021 10:59 AM  


That's easy, perception of wealth, power, and influence. Same reason they picked DC area to build this.

Plus the higher ups get a lot of value from working in person for facetime, w first level subordinates, each other, C-suite.
At least before COVID was always risk that if your job was easily remote, it was an easily replaced cog in the machine.

Blogger Newscaper312 February 11, 2021 11:03 AM  

Funny how the Green stuff is always more expensive, as if in a non-distorted market the price (up front plus maint properly modeled) of something wasn't already a decent first pass proxy for environmental impact.
Price accounts for materials extraction, shipping, processing etc.

Blogger Newscaper312 February 11, 2021 11:08 AM  

Here in Mobile wife had a friend whose contractor husband got to do a 9bunch if work on the green "sustainable" replacement homes Brad Pitts foundation built in the flooded 9th Ward of New Orleans after Katrina.
Insane waste of money in the green crap, could have easily helped at least 10x the number of families for same $$ building budget conventional.
Plus you know the people weren't going to maintain them worth a damn.
Other comment builder guy had was how unfriendly and demanding the PoCs being helped were. Of course for 50+ years they've been told Whitey owes them everything.

Blogger dienw February 11, 2021 11:11 AM  

Doktor Jeep @16 Got it correct. This is the technocratic/commercial elite declaring themselves as the true rulers of this age: after all it is they who chose the new puppet president. But the tower of Nimrod is the temple of the culmination of the Enlightenment, the religion of money, power, and science/technology. The plants and trees going up the spiral refer to Babylon: the Hanging Gardens of King Nebuchadnezzar, the greatest off a all kings. Bezos and his (((tribe))) are making silent associations; remember, the Talmud originated in Babylon and in Babylon the Hebraic religion and the Law died ( as Jesus declared, the Jews' tradition of the elders made the Law to no effect).

Blogger Elder Son February 11, 2021 11:46 AM  

The first thing that came to mind, I see 3 things here. Tower of Babel, Hanging Gardens of Babylon, and a torch representing Light of the World.

They summed up that package nicely.

Or, it could be an ice cream cone with a swirl of chocolate.

Blogger Randomatos February 11, 2021 12:01 PM  

Customer or peon?

Blogger Warunicorn February 11, 2021 1:20 PM  

That Amazon building looks like a *polished turd*.

You can't even meme it. *It shows itself*. lol

Blogger cecilhenry February 11, 2021 1:33 PM  

We have all that in Gab already.

So the real question is why are they all purposefully ignoring that reality?

Its because Gab is truly open, and this will be another controlled farm to manage opinion and redirect it from real free speech.

Its laughably transparent.

Blogger M In The 517 February 11, 2021 1:36 PM  

More like Poopy Queen

Maybe Odell Beckham Jr. will end up buying it eventually.

Blogger Imwill February 11, 2021 1:40 PM  

What’s the significance?

Blogger Imwill February 11, 2021 1:41 PM  

Hahahaha I hadn’t thought of that and now I can unsee it!

Blogger Dafo February 11, 2021 2:04 PM  

I guess Googlers can forget about working from home... but then again work seems to be home for them.

Blogger Ed P February 11, 2021 2:23 PM  

Not a helix (as it's stated), as helixes are like DNA or springs, not spirals.
It sums up Amazon for me: a building where those at the top shit on those below, so perhaps all the greenery is a distributed sewage-treatment system.

Blogger Azure Amaranthine February 11, 2021 2:46 PM  

"The yellow stars in the central imagem has an odd shape."

The five pointed star with the point facing upward is the "Northern Star" symbol and has been associated with Christianity for a fairly long time. They intentionally invert it to show opposite allegiance.

"Why would any corporation build a building nowadays?"

Because their money supply is protected and fabricated, so they don't feel like it's at all risky.

Blogger wahr01 February 11, 2021 3:07 PM  

cecilhenry wrote:We have all that in Gab already.

So the real question is why are they all purposefully ignoring that reality?

Its because Gab is truly open, and this will be another controlled farm to manage opinion and redirect it from real free speech.

Its laughably transparent.

On gab there is a conspicuous absence of the ability to search post bodies for keywords.

Blogger Azimus February 11, 2021 3:21 PM  

It looks like a steel-and-glass-and-trees pile of poo.

Blogger GoodTImesSwordsBear February 11, 2021 5:24 PM  

That building looks like a soft-serve shit from an alien's asshole.

Blogger Pedro the Cat February 11, 2021 5:38 PM  

...and here I was always taught you can't polish a turd.

Blogger Steve Canyon February 11, 2021 5:46 PM  

The roof going to have an altar where they remove the still beating heart of American commerce?

Blogger Ozymandius February 11, 2021 5:47 PM  

That steaming pile of architectural inspiration must have been first imagined while some malignant architect was sitting on a toilet. "Eureka! Let's build a shining turd on a hill!"

Blogger ND February 11, 2021 8:02 PM  

Hey, thanks for sharing this. Had no idea!

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Blogger Francisca February 12, 2021 3:26 AM  

This Amazon building is a very weak interpretation of Tatlin's Monument to the Third International.

Blogger Akulkis February 12, 2021 9:07 AM  

>> So they save CO2.



Plants literally scavenge CO2 out of the air and replace it with 02, to the point that what started out as 18% CO2 is now 18% O3 and 0.03% CO2.

And don't go into Glow-Bull Warming
A. We are still coming out of an ice age... So, of course,. The earth is is gradually getting warmer. It's been doing that for the last 10 000 years.

B. The most effective 'Green House Has" is water vapor, which gram for gram, is 150x (15000%) more effective than C02.

What do you and the greedy politicians suppose we should do about the clouds in the sky, which not only provide rain, but also RAPIDLY move heat from many (but not all) hot areas into cool ones (by the mechanism of the water/vapor evaporation/precipitation cycle).

Atmospheric CO2 does not *cause* temperature changes, it trails and indicates them, WITH A LAG time.

Blogger Boo Boo the Fool, Esquire February 12, 2021 1:01 PM  

Every time I hear "double helix" I cringe. I am beginning to think DNA is completely fake science and should not be admissible in any court of law.

Blogger Unknown February 12, 2021 6:03 PM  

That poster in the middle couldn't more Satanic. The EU stars are inverted, the tower of Babel, and also humans rendered like blocky robot automatons.

Blogger MrNiceguy February 12, 2021 6:30 PM  

I recall that's a deliberate choice, otherwise we'd see article after article about journalists who searched for racial slurs on Gab and, "you may be shocked at what we found."

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